I knew it was coming, but that still didn't help.
I knew, that with this new car being a lease that I would get the eventual talk about being careful of the miles I put on it. I commute to one school four days a week, another two days a week (with the occasional third for study purposes), I work three days a week and go see my gf once a week. I drive a lot. I am busy. So when my mom and I talked today I knew she would bring it up, I expected something general. What I did not expect was my mom suggesting that I cut out my trip to see my gf once a week, I didn't expect essentially hint that I should drop that friendship. Now I'm not sure she knows I'm dating my gf. She knows that we're friends and I suspect she knows that my gf was at one point an ex.
My parents aren't comfortable with my being openly gay. The one time I tried ended with a threat of locks being changes and me bruised. And I still here to this day hear how I was in the wrong in regards to that situation. Yes, the person I was dating was emotionally abusing me and using me so my parents had reason to worry. The extremes of the situation have held me back from talking about any women I have dated since then.
Thankfully my gf's family has been very accepting. It was actually a comment by her grandma telling her that her 'Your gf is here' that got us to talk about why we had broken up, rekindled our friendship and if we should give it a third try.
Today's conversation was made more difficult because I know that if I was dating a guy my parents would be bugging me to bring him home, pushing for me to feel comfortable with that and asking many questions. I can barely do more than refer to my gf as a friend without them getting closed off and tense. It just hurts.
I told my mom I didn't want to discuss it, that I didn't want to have the conversation with her. That I was uncomfortable with it. So she just smiled at me and told me to mull it over. Yes, mull over not seeing my gf several days after she suggested I drop that friendship...not exactly what I'm going to do. Apparently I will just have to stop mentioning my gf at all.
It makes me long for the day when I can move out and not be living under such a microscope. I live with my grandma and my parents are our next door neighbors. It's just not an option right now. I couldn't afford it and there is no way I could leave my grandma to live by herself. Instead the only option is to work hard so that one day I can live my life...and I'll probably just drag my grandma along for the ride. We have this pipe dream of moving to Hawaii when I get my degree, me to nurse and her to become a bag lady. Yes, my grandma's ambition in life is to become a bag lady in Hawaii.
My parents aren't comfortable with my being openly gay. The one time I tried ended with a threat of locks being changes and me bruised. And I still here to this day hear how I was in the wrong in regards to that situation. Yes, the person I was dating was emotionally abusing me and using me so my parents had reason to worry. The extremes of the situation have held me back from talking about any women I have dated since then.
Thankfully my gf's family has been very accepting. It was actually a comment by her grandma telling her that her 'Your gf is here' that got us to talk about why we had broken up, rekindled our friendship and if we should give it a third try.
Today's conversation was made more difficult because I know that if I was dating a guy my parents would be bugging me to bring him home, pushing for me to feel comfortable with that and asking many questions. I can barely do more than refer to my gf as a friend without them getting closed off and tense. It just hurts.
I told my mom I didn't want to discuss it, that I didn't want to have the conversation with her. That I was uncomfortable with it. So she just smiled at me and told me to mull it over. Yes, mull over not seeing my gf several days after she suggested I drop that friendship...not exactly what I'm going to do. Apparently I will just have to stop mentioning my gf at all.
It makes me long for the day when I can move out and not be living under such a microscope. I live with my grandma and my parents are our next door neighbors. It's just not an option right now. I couldn't afford it and there is no way I could leave my grandma to live by herself. Instead the only option is to work hard so that one day I can live my life...and I'll probably just drag my grandma along for the ride. We have this pipe dream of moving to Hawaii when I get my degree, me to nurse and her to become a bag lady. Yes, my grandma's ambition in life is to become a bag lady in Hawaii.