Fandom thinky-thoughts before heading off to work
I have a lot of thoughts this morning that have been rambling around in my head for a few days now, so I'm going to get sort of long and chatty here. Feel free to ignore.
I do fandom on a small level. I always have. I like my little pocket-corner-sandbox of near solitude because the one place where safety isn't in numbers, I feel, is fandom. The larger your own circle tends to be, or fandom itself, the greater potential I feel there is for drama and wank. People get rude, they get mean, and they start saying things they'd never actually say to a person's face. The worst of mob mentality comes out.
So, I tend to stay to small circles of people I've come to know and adore and who make me feel comfortable. I've never been a "go big or go home" type person in terms of fandom. Heck, I rarely, if ever, post my stuff to comms and archives b/c unless it's a large fic that's been read over by at least 2 people, I don't want to clog up anyone else's webspace with inane ramblings. (Like this one.)(Still feel guilty about posting ficlets to AO3.) (Will probably never post Nashville 'verse there for this reason.)
I'm currently mostly in the BoB and The Pacific fandoms based on lj and DW. I've never really gone to tumblr b/c a) I'm an old fart who can't figure out the format and I suck at graphics b) again, old lady who doesn't like change. I tend to stay out of the larger fandom things in general. My ever-changing work schedule keeps me away from most rewatches, I'm either too early or too late for friending memes, and I'm usually ages behind in reading fic so I suck at rec weeks.
I don't make icons, I only post my fanmixes to my own journal and fic comms (and even took most of those down b/c the download numbers were much higher than the comments and I was getting uber-paranoid about sudden downloads of a year old mix) and in general I don't think I write fic that most people like. I enjoy writing it, it makes me happy, but the general lack of comments period (for good or for ill) tell me I'm either a) doing it wrong or b) no one really reads mostly gen fic. I just as easily assume anyone who reads my stuff and doesn't like it follows my own personal belief of "if you don't like it, don't comment" and silence apparently wins out over everything else. I suppose if comment count alone really mattered to me, I'd go and change the hows and whys of my writing, but there are things I know I am good at. Smut, not one of them. Angst? Hardly. Drama? Not really. Sarcastic one liners and gen fic? ding-ding-ding! (edited to add: This part here was mostly written out of the supposed belief that more comments = better story. Sometimes this is true. Sometimes it is not. Sometimes it is somewhere in between. Art and fic is subjective. And as most other long-term fandom writers will tell you: your own fav fic, of everything you've ever written, usually gets the least amount of 'notice.')
My general feeling on fic is that I go through enough shit in my own life that when it comes time to write something, everything is going to end mostly content b/c it's escapism damn it. Clearly my feelings are not everyone else's and they shouldn't be. And my own rules get thrown out the window for character pieces and stories I read, but in terms of my own writing, everyone lives (except, sadly, poor Julian).
I also write AUs, which I've been told more than once is sort of a cop-out in a mostly WWII based fandom. I can't bring myself to write in-theater fic, esp for Band of Brothers, b/c look, my master's degree was mostly spent studying Europe during WWII in terms of things like, oh, you know, the Holocaust. And the Greek Famine. And a lot of horrible shit. I can't write fic, knowing what I know, without seriously feeling wrong. When I try, the historian takes over and it all becomes more about writing an essay than a fic. So in terms of story-telling it's easier for me to write an AU but I still end up doing massive amounts of research for it all. (Yes, even for my made up fake towns like St. Boniface, which is based out of a real parish in LA. I've even made notes of avg. weather patterns for the area b/c yes, something that small will hang me up.)
And I don't get ship wars. Esp. in a fandom where nothing, aside from Nixon and Winters and their co-dependency, is canon. (This reminds me of LotR fandom, honestly, where peole argued about characterization for like, Erestor. He had maybe five lines in all of Tolkien's writings, everything else was fanon. ANYWAY.)
So, yes, in terms of my current fandom I've generally had a good experience. I've found out recently a ton of other people haven't and that makes me sad. Because I haven't seen the hate and the drama, b/c I'm mostly not involved. I really can't stand it when people get petty. Look, you can go ahead and hate as much as you want offline and behind closed doors (or locked posts), but when it comes to an online fandom, especially a small one where we are all in this together, why waste time on being hateful? I'm not saying don't be critical of something if there are genuine problems. There's a reason why PM functions are out there, comms have mods, and there are e-mail links.
It takes a lot of balls to participate in fandom, to post something online, to open yourself up to that. None of us start off perfect, age doesn't equal talent, and no matter your generation or social platform, there's no excuse not to, at the very least, be a decent human being. If you throw out hate, you're probably going to get that back. Call it karma, the power of three, or the way the world works. The golden rule wasn't just taught for shits and giggles. There's so much bullshit that goes on in everyday life, do we really need to bring that out to something that's supposed to be fun.
Look, I know this has been said many times before. I know people will continue to openly be wank-baiting and full of hate, but at the very least I can try to send some positive vibes out there by saying it.
So, here ends my thinky-thought ramble.
And that was a post. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend! I'm off to work until about 11pm tonight. The joys of being a part-time cashier, you gladly take any shift you can get b/c student loan bills do not pay themselves.
This entry was originally posted at http://rivlee.dreamwidth.org/397169.html. Please comment there or on lj.
I do fandom on a small level. I always have. I like my little pocket-corner-sandbox of near solitude because the one place where safety isn't in numbers, I feel, is fandom. The larger your own circle tends to be, or fandom itself, the greater potential I feel there is for drama and wank. People get rude, they get mean, and they start saying things they'd never actually say to a person's face. The worst of mob mentality comes out.
So, I tend to stay to small circles of people I've come to know and adore and who make me feel comfortable. I've never been a "go big or go home" type person in terms of fandom. Heck, I rarely, if ever, post my stuff to comms and archives b/c unless it's a large fic that's been read over by at least 2 people, I don't want to clog up anyone else's webspace with inane ramblings. (Like this one.)(Still feel guilty about posting ficlets to AO3.) (Will probably never post Nashville 'verse there for this reason.)
I'm currently mostly in the BoB and The Pacific fandoms based on lj and DW. I've never really gone to tumblr b/c a) I'm an old fart who can't figure out the format and I suck at graphics b) again, old lady who doesn't like change. I tend to stay out of the larger fandom things in general. My ever-changing work schedule keeps me away from most rewatches, I'm either too early or too late for friending memes, and I'm usually ages behind in reading fic so I suck at rec weeks.
I don't make icons, I only post my fanmixes to my own journal and fic comms (and even took most of those down b/c the download numbers were much higher than the comments and I was getting uber-paranoid about sudden downloads of a year old mix) and in general I don't think I write fic that most people like. I enjoy writing it, it makes me happy, but the general lack of comments period (for good or for ill) tell me I'm either a) doing it wrong or b) no one really reads mostly gen fic. I just as easily assume anyone who reads my stuff and doesn't like it follows my own personal belief of "if you don't like it, don't comment" and silence apparently wins out over everything else. I suppose if comment count alone really mattered to me, I'd go and change the hows and whys of my writing, but there are things I know I am good at. Smut, not one of them. Angst? Hardly. Drama? Not really. Sarcastic one liners and gen fic? ding-ding-ding! (edited to add: This part here was mostly written out of the supposed belief that more comments = better story. Sometimes this is true. Sometimes it is not. Sometimes it is somewhere in between. Art and fic is subjective. And as most other long-term fandom writers will tell you: your own fav fic, of everything you've ever written, usually gets the least amount of 'notice.')
My general feeling on fic is that I go through enough shit in my own life that when it comes time to write something, everything is going to end mostly content b/c it's escapism damn it. Clearly my feelings are not everyone else's and they shouldn't be. And my own rules get thrown out the window for character pieces and stories I read, but in terms of my own writing, everyone lives (except, sadly, poor Julian).
I also write AUs, which I've been told more than once is sort of a cop-out in a mostly WWII based fandom. I can't bring myself to write in-theater fic, esp for Band of Brothers, b/c look, my master's degree was mostly spent studying Europe during WWII in terms of things like, oh, you know, the Holocaust. And the Greek Famine. And a lot of horrible shit. I can't write fic, knowing what I know, without seriously feeling wrong. When I try, the historian takes over and it all becomes more about writing an essay than a fic. So in terms of story-telling it's easier for me to write an AU but I still end up doing massive amounts of research for it all. (Yes, even for my made up fake towns like St. Boniface, which is based out of a real parish in LA. I've even made notes of avg. weather patterns for the area b/c yes, something that small will hang me up.)
And I don't get ship wars. Esp. in a fandom where nothing, aside from Nixon and Winters and their co-dependency, is canon. (This reminds me of LotR fandom, honestly, where peole argued about characterization for like, Erestor. He had maybe five lines in all of Tolkien's writings, everything else was fanon. ANYWAY.)
So, yes, in terms of my current fandom I've generally had a good experience. I've found out recently a ton of other people haven't and that makes me sad. Because I haven't seen the hate and the drama, b/c I'm mostly not involved. I really can't stand it when people get petty. Look, you can go ahead and hate as much as you want offline and behind closed doors (or locked posts), but when it comes to an online fandom, especially a small one where we are all in this together, why waste time on being hateful? I'm not saying don't be critical of something if there are genuine problems. There's a reason why PM functions are out there, comms have mods, and there are e-mail links.
It takes a lot of balls to participate in fandom, to post something online, to open yourself up to that. None of us start off perfect, age doesn't equal talent, and no matter your generation or social platform, there's no excuse not to, at the very least, be a decent human being. If you throw out hate, you're probably going to get that back. Call it karma, the power of three, or the way the world works. The golden rule wasn't just taught for shits and giggles. There's so much bullshit that goes on in everyday life, do we really need to bring that out to something that's supposed to be fun.
Look, I know this has been said many times before. I know people will continue to openly be wank-baiting and full of hate, but at the very least I can try to send some positive vibes out there by saying it.
So, here ends my thinky-thought ramble.
And that was a post. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend! I'm off to work until about 11pm tonight. The joys of being a part-time cashier, you gladly take any shift you can get b/c student loan bills do not pay themselves.
This entry was originally posted at http://rivlee.dreamwidth.org/397169.html. Please comment there or on lj.