Remix! and nonfiction
For remix I wrote Taxus brevifolia (the serpentine fibres intertwined remix), Sam/Dean with sex pollen. And I can now report that the amazing remix I got, Vagabondage (the trust fall remix), was by Trojie, and yay, I found a new author to enjoy out of it too!
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men: Abuse is about entitlement, not anger. It results from misogynistic attitudes, not emotions. As a result, conventional therapy directed at understanding emotions won’t work and may be counterproductive. Abusers sssentially always engage in calculation: they can always answer questions like, you hit her, but why didn’t you break her bones? Why didn’t you kill her? So they don’t lose control entirely, but that explanation is very useful to them. Instead, they abuse because they think they're justified. Abusers believe they're entitled to all a partner's attention and efforts. As a result, any attempt to get him to consider her is an attack and an injury, to which he may justly respond with punishment.
I was incredibly struck by the similarities to other assertions of male privilege. It goes way beyond men thinking that women are dominating a conversation when they reach 30% participation (Bancroft points out that abusers think this because they think that zero participation is the appropriate level for women). Consider this Mother Jones story, where a gun advocate bullies deliberately while accusing his peaceful interlocutors of harming him:
Jones and his camera crew began cornering members of [Moms Demand Action]. The women told him they weren't interested in talking on camera, but he kept at it.
An older couple walked over to intervene, the man telling Jones, "A gun grab is something that nobody in this country wants." Jones got in the man's face, hands gesticulating, chest puffed out. "Well sir, all I can say is you're really gettin' in my space!"
"Well, why don't you back up?" the man said.
"No, I'm not gonna back up." Jones retorted, inching in closer. "You're the one got in my space." He glanced over to his camera crew. "Look at this, look at this guy."
The woman tried to pull her husband away. "All right, go ahead," Jones continued. "Listen, I don't want to beat an old guy up," he added, poking the man's chest. "So don't touch me."
I don’t doubt that Jones really believed that he was not the aggressor. That’s part of what makes him and people like him so dangerous: to him, everyone else-especially women-is asking for it.
comments on DW | reply there. I have invites or you can use OpenID.
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men: Abuse is about entitlement, not anger. It results from misogynistic attitudes, not emotions. As a result, conventional therapy directed at understanding emotions won’t work and may be counterproductive. Abusers sssentially always engage in calculation: they can always answer questions like, you hit her, but why didn’t you break her bones? Why didn’t you kill her? So they don’t lose control entirely, but that explanation is very useful to them. Instead, they abuse because they think they're justified. Abusers believe they're entitled to all a partner's attention and efforts. As a result, any attempt to get him to consider her is an attack and an injury, to which he may justly respond with punishment.
I was incredibly struck by the similarities to other assertions of male privilege. It goes way beyond men thinking that women are dominating a conversation when they reach 30% participation (Bancroft points out that abusers think this because they think that zero participation is the appropriate level for women). Consider this Mother Jones story, where a gun advocate bullies deliberately while accusing his peaceful interlocutors of harming him:
Jones and his camera crew began cornering members of [Moms Demand Action]. The women told him they weren't interested in talking on camera, but he kept at it.
An older couple walked over to intervene, the man telling Jones, "A gun grab is something that nobody in this country wants." Jones got in the man's face, hands gesticulating, chest puffed out. "Well sir, all I can say is you're really gettin' in my space!"
"Well, why don't you back up?" the man said.
"No, I'm not gonna back up." Jones retorted, inching in closer. "You're the one got in my space." He glanced over to his camera crew. "Look at this, look at this guy."
The woman tried to pull her husband away. "All right, go ahead," Jones continued. "Listen, I don't want to beat an old guy up," he added, poking the man's chest. "So don't touch me."
I don’t doubt that Jones really believed that he was not the aggressor. That’s part of what makes him and people like him so dangerous: to him, everyone else-especially women-is asking for it.
comments on DW | reply there. I have invites or you can use OpenID.