So, yes, I am crazy...here are some thoughts about it
Gentle readers, I know that all of you know that I am a little bit crazy. I am not crazy as in The Crazy, but I am slightly nuts. Many people feel more comfortable with more politically correct, diagnostic terms. The fitting ones would be Bipolar Affective Disorder type II. This means I'm more mood swingy than average. You all already knew that, but now there is a name. Cool. (We can devote another entry to why I think Manic-Depressive illness is a better name, but not now.)
Part of this wonderful disorder is that sometimes I am depressed. But here is my point gentle readers, and I am sure you have heard it before: depressed does not equal sad. Many people will tell you that depression is a heightened form of sadness, and sometimes they would be right, but often they would be wrong. Sure, depression certainly mimics many of the same symptoms as sadness: crying, being "out of it," irritability, etc. Yet, all too often these symptoms don't really add up to a real feeling of sadness. I often feel depression more as a sense of being too full of emotion, and often at least some of these emotions are good emotions: joy, love, excitement. So when people sit me down and try to "cheer me up," it is often quite ineffective because really I don't need to be cheered up. I just need to release some excess emotion. In fact, the action of sitting me down and telling me why things aren't so bad often worsens the situation because then I feel guilty for crying, and the comforter feels like a failure as a friend for not succeeding in making me "better."
You want a moral then? Well, I can't speak for everyone, but I think I can offer some general advice. Next time you see someone (maybe even me) crying, rather than immediately trying to tell her why everything is actually okay and how she should solve her problems, instead perhaps ask her how she is feeling. The answers may surprise you.
---
Why everyone needs a therapist:
Have you ever been in a situation where someone has been acting in a way that really bothers you, but you didn't really know how to approach the problem because that someone has been a key part of your group of friends, so to complain about him to the group would be in poor form? What about a time when you felt really awful about yourself, but everyone kept telling you that you were fine/beautiful/smart, but you didn't believe them because they're your friends and they wouldn't tell you if you were actually annoying/ugly/stupid?
What you need in both of those situations is an outside, uninvolved, objective person to whom you can vent and from whom you could get opinions/brainstorm solutions. Yet there is such a stigma STILL in this society about seeing a therapist. If you see a therapist, you must be crazy. Well, it's simply not true. Yes, I am crazy. Yes, I see a therapist, but my therapist is also a doctor who prescribes me the medications that keep me sane. It is not the therapy that removes my crazy. Rather, it is the medications that I take. Therapy, by contrast, teaches me how to live more fully, safely, and happily. I can't think of anyone who doesn't need a little bit of help in that department.
Now, therapy can take many forms. I see a psychiatrist, an MD, who also does CBT and psychoanalysis. A very close friend of mine sees a master's level psychologist who specializes in marriage and family counseling to help him deal with relationships with his parents and friends. A professor of mine is a Ph.D. psychologist who offers substance abuse counseling. My first therapist was a social worker with a master's degree who specialized in child psychology. Religious leaders are often trained in therapy, also. What this is trying to show is that there are many different types of therapists, and if you have problems with one therapist, there is always another out there. If you are uncomfortable going to a psychologist, maybe you'd feel better talking to your priest or rabbi or lama.
I'm not saying that everyone should right now go out and shell out tons of money for extended psychotherapy, but what I am promoting is the presence of someone outside your life who can offer a bit of perspective.
Ciao tutti.
Part of this wonderful disorder is that sometimes I am depressed. But here is my point gentle readers, and I am sure you have heard it before: depressed does not equal sad. Many people will tell you that depression is a heightened form of sadness, and sometimes they would be right, but often they would be wrong. Sure, depression certainly mimics many of the same symptoms as sadness: crying, being "out of it," irritability, etc. Yet, all too often these symptoms don't really add up to a real feeling of sadness. I often feel depression more as a sense of being too full of emotion, and often at least some of these emotions are good emotions: joy, love, excitement. So when people sit me down and try to "cheer me up," it is often quite ineffective because really I don't need to be cheered up. I just need to release some excess emotion. In fact, the action of sitting me down and telling me why things aren't so bad often worsens the situation because then I feel guilty for crying, and the comforter feels like a failure as a friend for not succeeding in making me "better."
You want a moral then? Well, I can't speak for everyone, but I think I can offer some general advice. Next time you see someone (maybe even me) crying, rather than immediately trying to tell her why everything is actually okay and how she should solve her problems, instead perhaps ask her how she is feeling. The answers may surprise you.
---
Why everyone needs a therapist:
Have you ever been in a situation where someone has been acting in a way that really bothers you, but you didn't really know how to approach the problem because that someone has been a key part of your group of friends, so to complain about him to the group would be in poor form? What about a time when you felt really awful about yourself, but everyone kept telling you that you were fine/beautiful/smart, but you didn't believe them because they're your friends and they wouldn't tell you if you were actually annoying/ugly/stupid?
What you need in both of those situations is an outside, uninvolved, objective person to whom you can vent and from whom you could get opinions/brainstorm solutions. Yet there is such a stigma STILL in this society about seeing a therapist. If you see a therapist, you must be crazy. Well, it's simply not true. Yes, I am crazy. Yes, I see a therapist, but my therapist is also a doctor who prescribes me the medications that keep me sane. It is not the therapy that removes my crazy. Rather, it is the medications that I take. Therapy, by contrast, teaches me how to live more fully, safely, and happily. I can't think of anyone who doesn't need a little bit of help in that department.
Now, therapy can take many forms. I see a psychiatrist, an MD, who also does CBT and psychoanalysis. A very close friend of mine sees a master's level psychologist who specializes in marriage and family counseling to help him deal with relationships with his parents and friends. A professor of mine is a Ph.D. psychologist who offers substance abuse counseling. My first therapist was a social worker with a master's degree who specialized in child psychology. Religious leaders are often trained in therapy, also. What this is trying to show is that there are many different types of therapists, and if you have problems with one therapist, there is always another out there. If you are uncomfortable going to a psychologist, maybe you'd feel better talking to your priest or rabbi or lama.
I'm not saying that everyone should right now go out and shell out tons of money for extended psychotherapy, but what I am promoting is the presence of someone outside your life who can offer a bit of perspective.
Ciao tutti.