Why do I feel like I'm dead today?
Some days I feel dead... and I don't imply that I'm tired or sick, or even like I'm invisible. I just feel... dead. It's odd. Like when I was out raking leaves today, I felt the wind blow against my skin. I thought to myself, "If I was dead, I wouldn't feel this." Then I went on to list other things I wouldn't feel if I was dead. The sun's warmth, the ground beneath my feet, the touch of another person. Total isolated numbness... but I don't feel scared or depressed... just very relaxed and peaceful. a touch sad... but peaceful.
I've heard people say that death is peaceful. Ghosts always seem relaxed but sad about something. I suppose that may be how I feel today. Relaxed with a touch of sadness.
Odd, as I have no reason to be sad. Some days, I just am.
I have these moods sometimes where I want to be a ghost. Just to float around and watch over those I've left behind. I remember when I first started being homeschooled again, I felt like I was a ghost. I'd catch bits and pieces of what my friends in school were up to, but I wasn't there to see it. And time seemed to move so fast... like I was no longer a part of the world I was in before. I felt dead many times then.
So some days, I just feel dead, and today was one of those days.
I've heard people say that death is peaceful. Ghosts always seem relaxed but sad about something. I suppose that may be how I feel today. Relaxed with a touch of sadness.
Odd, as I have no reason to be sad. Some days, I just am.
I have these moods sometimes where I want to be a ghost. Just to float around and watch over those I've left behind. I remember when I first started being homeschooled again, I felt like I was a ghost. I'd catch bits and pieces of what my friends in school were up to, but I wasn't there to see it. And time seemed to move so fast... like I was no longer a part of the world I was in before. I felt dead many times then.
So some days, I just feel dead, and today was one of those days.