When the one thing you want is the one thing just out of reach...
What is that from? Its from somewhere, I just can't remember.
Anyway. Latin is once again attempting to convince me to go play in traffic. I had a test yesterday and it was an absolute disaster. I know that I tend to exaggerate, and maybe I will have when I get it back, but I doubt it, because it really felt completely, utterly, tragically, horrible. During the test I kept thinking:
"Why am I even trying to do this? I obviously suck at this, why am I trying to go on? It would be easier to just give up, why do you do this to yourself? Stop! Don't think about that, think about the test!" And so on. And trying not to cry because it was awful - in the totaly negative sense of that word. At the end, Williams attempted to ask me something about the email I had sent him about the assignment and I couldn't really answer because at that point there was only one thought in my mind: "Get out of this office before you start to cry." And I was at least successful in that. I even made it to my corner before I started. Then after a bit of that I remembered that people could find me there and I managed to stop and do some reading. Then I went to Greek which always... uh... makes me feel good? In that non sort of way? So yes, basically consumed by doubt and feel horrible, and have to keep pushing onward because that is the only way to go. Damn.
Made Laurel put ribbons in my hair because today, this week, my life might suck, but I'm going to look cute, dammit!
Anyway. Latin is once again attempting to convince me to go play in traffic. I had a test yesterday and it was an absolute disaster. I know that I tend to exaggerate, and maybe I will have when I get it back, but I doubt it, because it really felt completely, utterly, tragically, horrible. During the test I kept thinking:
"Why am I even trying to do this? I obviously suck at this, why am I trying to go on? It would be easier to just give up, why do you do this to yourself? Stop! Don't think about that, think about the test!" And so on. And trying not to cry because it was awful - in the totaly negative sense of that word. At the end, Williams attempted to ask me something about the email I had sent him about the assignment and I couldn't really answer because at that point there was only one thought in my mind: "Get out of this office before you start to cry." And I was at least successful in that. I even made it to my corner before I started. Then after a bit of that I remembered that people could find me there and I managed to stop and do some reading. Then I went to Greek which always... uh... makes me feel good? In that non sort of way? So yes, basically consumed by doubt and feel horrible, and have to keep pushing onward because that is the only way to go. Damn.
Made Laurel put ribbons in my hair because today, this week, my life might suck, but I'm going to look cute, dammit!