Fic: Feeling
Title: Feeling
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: G
Summary: No room for misunderstanding.
He must have seen it in my eyes. My heart raced at the acknowledgement in his.
It was what I’d wanted, and yet I still felt like running. If only.
I made it to the door, but I’m easily caught.
Wait, he said; pleading, pulling me back, firmly gripping my arm. He leaned into me but I couldn’t look at him.
Don’t leave, he whispered, Don’t leave.
I wouldn’t. And I don’t. Still, I stay turned away. This was happening, and it was already too much. I don’t know if I’m ready. I only ever think I am.
He turned me to him, and pushed me gently to the door. Hyper-aware of every touch and subtle move, I gripped my cane, held it tightly.
He looked down at me, and slid his hand over mine. More contact. Warm and secure.
He plied every one of my fingers away until I let go, and he placed it aside.
I watched him as I tried and failed to steady each breath. He reached his hand out, completely brushing past me…
The turn of the lock was a shock in the quiet. It sounded so much like finality. Inevitability. I was waiting; left with the anticipation.
In all my dreams of a moment like this, I had imagined things happening quickly; too far gone and too desperate to stop. No time to catch up. Demanding, controlling. Rough, even. No touch misplaced. No kiss unwanted. After all this time, close could never really be too close.
Now he seemed to move slowly for my benefit. And I was still catching up. I liked to think that he was nervous too. If he was nervous then he cared.
His hands were on me, moving around me, getting closer.
I closed my eyes.
He kissed me; a brief touch to my lower lip where he lingered. Our mouths merely aligned together, not moving, with enough room in between to taste him each time he breathed out.
I waited until my mind decided to join me again before I dipped my head, seeking to press my mouth fully against his.
His lips parted. I didn’t hesitate. In all eagerness now, I reached out blindly to him, pulled him closer.
There was heat - crowding around me, running through me. Insistent mouth. A silent claim.
He pulled away, his face coming alongside mine. He breathed out in a rush against my ear, and his closeness hit me suddenly.
In that instant, the one and only thing that was on my mind left my mouth,
Wilson…
The warm breathing paused against my skin, but he remained there. Very still. Slowly, I opened my eyes, blinked everything back into focus. He moved, placed his head on my shoulder, and held onto me quietly, fingers gripping round my arms again and again.
I wondered if he’d just been caught in the moment, if now he was realising a mistake, if hearing his name spoken like that had somehow made this whole thing a little too real.
I wondered why - at the last minute - I became suspicious of that.
I still had hold of him, not wanting to let him go.
I needed him. I needed this. I needed something to believe in.
He lifted his head. I waited.
House… I love you. He looked up at me, his eyes dark and searching, holding me still, I love you.