(no subject)
It was abhorently cold today. Unnaturally cold. Good fucking god.
I found out about my fire alarm. Turns out, those wires were disconnected before hand, which means that it was running on battery for god knows how long. It was beeping by coincidence while I was making a burger because it was low on batteries. There was no risk of fire.
I dont even know how to feel about that.
I started receiving hot water again as of Saturday morning. Thursday morning, as soon as I woke up, I went over and spoke with my landlady, told her that I didnt need any more cold showers. After going through the cold-shower humor routine, they figured my pilot light went out. So they sent a guy to go fix it.
But I have a pilot light. So its not that.
So I talk to my landlady. The only other thing would be...Chesapeake Utility. Okay. I'll talk with them then. Maybe...a bill didnt get paid for some reason. So I call them up. Hello hello my name is Jason, perhaps a bill didnt get paid, yes one moment I have my account number right here. I read her my account number.
And there silence on the other side of the phone. My account number, printed on the last 5 bills I've received top right corner under my name and above the due date....was completely wrong. The lady in my cellphone informed me that the format of the account numbers is nothing near what I've just read off. We dive further to find that I was not even found in their system by name. They found "me" by my address. Turns out, I have a half filled out application in Chesapeake Utility's database..thing. This completely blows her mind, the woman im talking with, because it's impossible. It couldnt be in the database unless its completely filled out. It simply just doesnt let you put in an account unless all input fields are cleared. As a result, my account was never "activated," and they werent providing me with gas.
Up to this point, I have written all my gas utility bills to my apartment complex as a proxy, while my apartment is billed by whatever company gives me gas (insert Taco Bell referrence here) So, my question at this point is...who was I paying my bills to, and who was providing me with gas?
Anyways. I go through their wild ordeals and trial by fire to sign up with them over the phone. I faxed all kinds of things, made four different phone calls, and told a robot to take my money. More specifically, I had to pay a $70 initialization fee to get my account started. Anything involving a debit or credit card purchase with them constitutes an additonal $4.00 fee for some fuckwhatever thing I didnt care to understand so okay ill do a check. So I call their...bill...people..thing. Sigh.
Well its an automated voice. The one that wants you to talk to it instead of pushing buttons, so you dont feel awkward for talking to a robot. Well we all know how great that always works out. Nevermind I get pretty lame reception in the entirety of Salisbury, and it was windy outside making it even worse.
[In my best lifeless, disjointed male voice]".....................................Okay. Now. What is your zipcode?"
[Me, talking slow like I'm in a foreign country] "2 1 8 0 4."
"..................................................Alright. Did you say: 9?"
*sigh* "...No."
"........................................I'm sorry. I couldn't understand your response. Did you say: 9?"
On a side note, I really wish my zipcode was just 9. After 4 more rounds of this miscommunication so bad World War III could erupt, I was finally put through to a person. I had to start the whole thing over again. And what took 10 minutes to half-way finish this thing with a robot took 2 minutes with this lady.
So alright, I call them back. Yeah yeah I gave you my money. Okay...earliest they can get a guy out to turn on the gas is......Friday. Friday....friday....well, I havent showered yet today. And on Friday...I will be leaving before any service calls can be made. So...two more days of cold showers. Absolutely wonderful. So I let my landlady know that I will be out on Friday and asked her to let the service guy in while I'm out, to which she happoly obliged (She's like my mom away from mom) But before I left, she gave me an interesting proposal.
Y'see, my apartment complex has a pool, which is closed and all, but since it has a pool, it has bathrooms...with showers in them. She extended an invitation to me where I could use these bathrooms to shower...warmly. The kinda weird thing is, these bathrooms are in her office. Or rather, she moved her office to the clubroom, because its way more cozy than an office could be, and it has a big ol' TV.
I weighed my options.....freezing cold shower....warm shower in a public bathroom. I packed a change of clothes in my backpack, grabbed my shampoo, soap, towel, and went on my way over.
A door seperates the clubroom from the bathroom areas, allowing for a small Y corridor of privacy where straight back went to the Men's bathroom while off to the right went to the Women's bathroom. Straight back I go.
It looks like a bathroom right out of Arby's, expanded. Beige grit and tile. It has the one urinal that hasnt been cleaned since the factory produced it, the one stall I didnt dare open, the obligatory sink and mirror, and the one lightbulb to let you see so you dont trip over your dick. And then the two shower stalls. These showers stalls are about as big as a moving box. Just enough for you to stand in them and let water fall on you. Not that I was expecting luxury, but, geez. The closest stall had a vacuum(??) in it, so I went to the other by default. I turn it on and begin to disrobe for my warm shower, which now I'm eagerly awaiting because its cold in this bathroom. Its also pretty fucking weird to be naked with the mirror right across from me where my environment convinces me I'm in a public bathroom and society is right outside there. Plus I dont look good naked. Or, I dont think I do.
Well i disrobed too soon, because the water is still cold while I let it run to warm up. So I turn the temperature knob more to the right to heat it up, and wait, and wait, and wait...and wait. And its still cold. I turn it almost all the way to hot. Finally it warms up...I step in...too soon, too soon! Its fucking hot! I jump back out and turn the water back to a more mild temperature. But no matter how long I waited, and how far i pushed the water to freezing cold, this shower had one setting: Surface of the sun. So...freezing cold shower, or scalding hot shower?
I throw back the curtain to kick out my vacuum neighbor, but as I reach in my hand hits...something. I instinctively pull my hand back.
This stall is a massive spiders nest. Or at least it was at one point. There were webs...everywhere, with fortunately a skeleton crew manning it. If there were as many spiders as there were webs, I probably wouldve had a heart attack. I mean seriously had a heart attack.
So here are my options now. I can take a freezing cold shower my the comfort of my own home, melt my face off in the aqua incinerator, or cleanse myself in a pit of the very things that instill raw, unending fear into me. I paused in thought for awhile, and decided to do what any man in my situation would do.
Thursday October 7th, 2008 was another milestone for me in my life, because it was the first time I have ever showered in a woman's public bathroom.
The bathroom was lavish. The walls and tile were very clean and nice. Flowers, and even pictures of flowers hang from the walls, or set on little outlets. Everything smells nice. Four stalls. There was even ambient lighting! Oh, and no spiders. I checked.
I take a nice, long shower and feel as beautiful as can be. I also felt like I got away with a felony, because I freaking showered in the women's bathroom. How awesome is that?
Friday morning was less exciting, but still pleasant. I really missed taking warm showers. It makes me appreciate them. Until I dont feel like showering on weekend because I dont -have- to. Maybe I'll sneak back into the womens bathroom sometime though...just for the fun of it all.
I went and interviewed with Best Buy on Friday, again. They're very excited that I am willing to work weekends now, now that I know I wont need to spend them driving back home and then back to Salisbury. I met the whole crew, they're true geeks and I felt like I had been working there for a couple months after spending an hour with them. Oh right...an hour? My interviewer forgot that I showed up. Classy. I made $159 in sales while I waited, when a customer mistook me for an employee (I wore my geeksquad outfit to the interview...it seemed appropriate) I chalked it up to a field test, and passed.
Well, nothing really is that simple, is it? Turns out, I got terminated. Again. The Bowie store removed me from their records again as of January 07. Annoying, but understandable. 5 months later I havent completed the transfer, and I've been..ahem...making good use of my employee discount. Well, alright, I'll call my old store and have them reverse terminate me. Again.
All five people who have the power to reverse terminate: The General Manager, the Operations Manager, the Geeksquad Manager, the Operations supervisor, and the Geeksquad supervisor. Are all on vacation. Incredible. The first day one of them would be back would be Monday (thats today!). Well...alright then.
So I called them back today. And I managed to reach, fortunately, the person best suited to handle the job, The Operations Manager. I told him my situation.
Or. I -THINK- I did. See, when I asked "Could you do a reverse termination for me again?" There was silence on the other end of my phone. My connection was lost and the call ended at a time I cannot determine. So then I had to wait for AT&T's crap service to kick back on over my house so I could even make phone calls. Then I tried to call back the store for 10 minutes, and either kept getting disconnected (by THEIR crappy phone-call-transfer-thing), or passed around on hold for awhile. So its finally 20 minutes later, and when I finally reach someone, I ask to talk to the guy again, but he's already gone home for the day. So I might have a job tomorrow.
Sigh.
Once I got off the phone, I started typing all this, with my TV keeping me company the whole time. Its probably why this took so long to type. But you know what I'm really, really getting sick of? I'm getting REALLY sick of every commercial telling me what to fucking buy my girlfriend for Valentine's Day.
FUCK. I fucking hate Valentine's Day.
I found out about my fire alarm. Turns out, those wires were disconnected before hand, which means that it was running on battery for god knows how long. It was beeping by coincidence while I was making a burger because it was low on batteries. There was no risk of fire.
I dont even know how to feel about that.
I started receiving hot water again as of Saturday morning. Thursday morning, as soon as I woke up, I went over and spoke with my landlady, told her that I didnt need any more cold showers. After going through the cold-shower humor routine, they figured my pilot light went out. So they sent a guy to go fix it.
But I have a pilot light. So its not that.
So I talk to my landlady. The only other thing would be...Chesapeake Utility. Okay. I'll talk with them then. Maybe...a bill didnt get paid for some reason. So I call them up. Hello hello my name is Jason, perhaps a bill didnt get paid, yes one moment I have my account number right here. I read her my account number.
And there silence on the other side of the phone. My account number, printed on the last 5 bills I've received top right corner under my name and above the due date....was completely wrong. The lady in my cellphone informed me that the format of the account numbers is nothing near what I've just read off. We dive further to find that I was not even found in their system by name. They found "me" by my address. Turns out, I have a half filled out application in Chesapeake Utility's database..thing. This completely blows her mind, the woman im talking with, because it's impossible. It couldnt be in the database unless its completely filled out. It simply just doesnt let you put in an account unless all input fields are cleared. As a result, my account was never "activated," and they werent providing me with gas.
Up to this point, I have written all my gas utility bills to my apartment complex as a proxy, while my apartment is billed by whatever company gives me gas (insert Taco Bell referrence here) So, my question at this point is...who was I paying my bills to, and who was providing me with gas?
Anyways. I go through their wild ordeals and trial by fire to sign up with them over the phone. I faxed all kinds of things, made four different phone calls, and told a robot to take my money. More specifically, I had to pay a $70 initialization fee to get my account started. Anything involving a debit or credit card purchase with them constitutes an additonal $4.00 fee for some fuckwhatever thing I didnt care to understand so okay ill do a check. So I call their...bill...people..thing. Sigh.
Well its an automated voice. The one that wants you to talk to it instead of pushing buttons, so you dont feel awkward for talking to a robot. Well we all know how great that always works out. Nevermind I get pretty lame reception in the entirety of Salisbury, and it was windy outside making it even worse.
[In my best lifeless, disjointed male voice]".....................................Okay. Now. What is your zipcode?"
[Me, talking slow like I'm in a foreign country] "2 1 8 0 4."
"..................................................Alright. Did you say: 9?"
*sigh* "...No."
"........................................I'm sorry. I couldn't understand your response. Did you say: 9?"
On a side note, I really wish my zipcode was just 9. After 4 more rounds of this miscommunication so bad World War III could erupt, I was finally put through to a person. I had to start the whole thing over again. And what took 10 minutes to half-way finish this thing with a robot took 2 minutes with this lady.
So alright, I call them back. Yeah yeah I gave you my money. Okay...earliest they can get a guy out to turn on the gas is......Friday. Friday....friday....well, I havent showered yet today. And on Friday...I will be leaving before any service calls can be made. So...two more days of cold showers. Absolutely wonderful. So I let my landlady know that I will be out on Friday and asked her to let the service guy in while I'm out, to which she happoly obliged (She's like my mom away from mom) But before I left, she gave me an interesting proposal.
Y'see, my apartment complex has a pool, which is closed and all, but since it has a pool, it has bathrooms...with showers in them. She extended an invitation to me where I could use these bathrooms to shower...warmly. The kinda weird thing is, these bathrooms are in her office. Or rather, she moved her office to the clubroom, because its way more cozy than an office could be, and it has a big ol' TV.
I weighed my options.....freezing cold shower....warm shower in a public bathroom. I packed a change of clothes in my backpack, grabbed my shampoo, soap, towel, and went on my way over.
A door seperates the clubroom from the bathroom areas, allowing for a small Y corridor of privacy where straight back went to the Men's bathroom while off to the right went to the Women's bathroom. Straight back I go.
It looks like a bathroom right out of Arby's, expanded. Beige grit and tile. It has the one urinal that hasnt been cleaned since the factory produced it, the one stall I didnt dare open, the obligatory sink and mirror, and the one lightbulb to let you see so you dont trip over your dick. And then the two shower stalls. These showers stalls are about as big as a moving box. Just enough for you to stand in them and let water fall on you. Not that I was expecting luxury, but, geez. The closest stall had a vacuum(??) in it, so I went to the other by default. I turn it on and begin to disrobe for my warm shower, which now I'm eagerly awaiting because its cold in this bathroom. Its also pretty fucking weird to be naked with the mirror right across from me where my environment convinces me I'm in a public bathroom and society is right outside there. Plus I dont look good naked. Or, I dont think I do.
Well i disrobed too soon, because the water is still cold while I let it run to warm up. So I turn the temperature knob more to the right to heat it up, and wait, and wait, and wait...and wait. And its still cold. I turn it almost all the way to hot. Finally it warms up...I step in...too soon, too soon! Its fucking hot! I jump back out and turn the water back to a more mild temperature. But no matter how long I waited, and how far i pushed the water to freezing cold, this shower had one setting: Surface of the sun. So...freezing cold shower, or scalding hot shower?
I throw back the curtain to kick out my vacuum neighbor, but as I reach in my hand hits...something. I instinctively pull my hand back.
This stall is a massive spiders nest. Or at least it was at one point. There were webs...everywhere, with fortunately a skeleton crew manning it. If there were as many spiders as there were webs, I probably wouldve had a heart attack. I mean seriously had a heart attack.
So here are my options now. I can take a freezing cold shower my the comfort of my own home, melt my face off in the aqua incinerator, or cleanse myself in a pit of the very things that instill raw, unending fear into me. I paused in thought for awhile, and decided to do what any man in my situation would do.
Thursday October 7th, 2008 was another milestone for me in my life, because it was the first time I have ever showered in a woman's public bathroom.
The bathroom was lavish. The walls and tile were very clean and nice. Flowers, and even pictures of flowers hang from the walls, or set on little outlets. Everything smells nice. Four stalls. There was even ambient lighting! Oh, and no spiders. I checked.
I take a nice, long shower and feel as beautiful as can be. I also felt like I got away with a felony, because I freaking showered in the women's bathroom. How awesome is that?
Friday morning was less exciting, but still pleasant. I really missed taking warm showers. It makes me appreciate them. Until I dont feel like showering on weekend because I dont -have- to. Maybe I'll sneak back into the womens bathroom sometime though...just for the fun of it all.
I went and interviewed with Best Buy on Friday, again. They're very excited that I am willing to work weekends now, now that I know I wont need to spend them driving back home and then back to Salisbury. I met the whole crew, they're true geeks and I felt like I had been working there for a couple months after spending an hour with them. Oh right...an hour? My interviewer forgot that I showed up. Classy. I made $159 in sales while I waited, when a customer mistook me for an employee (I wore my geeksquad outfit to the interview...it seemed appropriate) I chalked it up to a field test, and passed.
Well, nothing really is that simple, is it? Turns out, I got terminated. Again. The Bowie store removed me from their records again as of January 07. Annoying, but understandable. 5 months later I havent completed the transfer, and I've been..ahem...making good use of my employee discount. Well, alright, I'll call my old store and have them reverse terminate me. Again.
All five people who have the power to reverse terminate: The General Manager, the Operations Manager, the Geeksquad Manager, the Operations supervisor, and the Geeksquad supervisor. Are all on vacation. Incredible. The first day one of them would be back would be Monday (thats today!). Well...alright then.
So I called them back today. And I managed to reach, fortunately, the person best suited to handle the job, The Operations Manager. I told him my situation.
Or. I -THINK- I did. See, when I asked "Could you do a reverse termination for me again?" There was silence on the other end of my phone. My connection was lost and the call ended at a time I cannot determine. So then I had to wait for AT&T's crap service to kick back on over my house so I could even make phone calls. Then I tried to call back the store for 10 minutes, and either kept getting disconnected (by THEIR crappy phone-call-transfer-thing), or passed around on hold for awhile. So its finally 20 minutes later, and when I finally reach someone, I ask to talk to the guy again, but he's already gone home for the day. So I might have a job tomorrow.
Sigh.
Once I got off the phone, I started typing all this, with my TV keeping me company the whole time. Its probably why this took so long to type. But you know what I'm really, really getting sick of? I'm getting REALLY sick of every commercial telling me what to fucking buy my girlfriend for Valentine's Day.
FUCK. I fucking hate Valentine's Day.