(no subject)
I did a lot of reading of my past entries today. There was so much about Tim. Why can't it just work out? Holy crap!! Four years, countless times of us liking the other but not having the feelings returned, and giving up. I refuse to give up. i love him. I always have and I always will. I have a huge weak spot for him. I just wish I could go back in time to when he liked me, then real quick fast forward to present day and have everything be perfect!! Please? That would be oh so nice. It's all up to God though what He wants to happen. If He wants Tim and I to be together He will make it happen. So...hey God...uh, wanna be on my side?!! For once?!?!? Blah. This sucks. I hope that when he liked me so long ago that was not my "one chance" and I blew it. Argh. That would devastate me. And so long ago I posted an entry saying, "Which should I pick? Tim or Devon?" and at the bottom I wrote how my heart was screaming to pick Tim, but my head was saying no pick Devon because he hasn't hurt you. I wish I could rewind time, slap some sense into me, and make myself pick Tim. HELLO?! Tim is the perfect man for me! Devon never cared about me. Tim was always honest with me about how he felt, and he never hid his feelings. I'm really tired so I guess I'll go to bed. Pray that someday Tim and I will be on the same page as one another.