you shut your mouth, how can you say i go about things the wrong way...
never very happy at the moment.
Usually at one of te girls parties i would stay till the early hours of the morning and often crash there. Now i find it hard to even go an staying for the 3 or so hours i was there was hard enough. I have trouble socialising and some people have beun to realise im really not coping at all. im trying to ignore it. hope it all goes away. And i know that wont work and one day it will all fall at my feet in a big untidy heap. But till that happens i figure i really dont have to deal.
And feeling like nobody loves me. And having that thrown in my fce hurts. I know im single. i dont need people to remind me all the time. So im single this means i can do what ever i damn well want right? not so much. Im not in the right mind set. I feel guilty. So i dont do what i want. I be the goody two shoes and while maybe it better in the longrun, i dont like it now. I dont like the criticisms that come instead of a simple hello. The glance instead of a hug. And now im becoming a recluse. I just dont know how to handle people anymore. I want to at least go to some of swancon... but people. I dont want people near me.
i tring to cope
but all it really means id im hiding from everone
including myself
Usually at one of te girls parties i would stay till the early hours of the morning and often crash there. Now i find it hard to even go an staying for the 3 or so hours i was there was hard enough. I have trouble socialising and some people have beun to realise im really not coping at all. im trying to ignore it. hope it all goes away. And i know that wont work and one day it will all fall at my feet in a big untidy heap. But till that happens i figure i really dont have to deal.
And feeling like nobody loves me. And having that thrown in my fce hurts. I know im single. i dont need people to remind me all the time. So im single this means i can do what ever i damn well want right? not so much. Im not in the right mind set. I feel guilty. So i dont do what i want. I be the goody two shoes and while maybe it better in the longrun, i dont like it now. I dont like the criticisms that come instead of a simple hello. The glance instead of a hug. And now im becoming a recluse. I just dont know how to handle people anymore. I want to at least go to some of swancon... but people. I dont want people near me.
i tring to cope
but all it really means id im hiding from everone
including myself