"I don't want what you want. I don't feel what you feel."
April 8th to 18th, I went to four concerts. I go to concerts often but never in such a high concentration. This is perhaps more information than anyone needs, but I’m trying to capture the moment[s]. One night really dwarfs the others, but they were worth mentioning, too;)
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April 8th - Dede landed two tickets for Pat to see the Strokes. Sean was originally going to go with him, but Pat thought that Sean felt obligated to go and asked if I was interested. I said, yeah, if Sean didn't want to go, I'd love to. And I'm really glad we went. We got to the Pageant at 9 just as they were setting up for the Strokes. They came out not long after we arrived and it was a pretty fabulous show. For me, they're one of those bands where the majority of the songs on an album are so-so, but the 3 or 4 that I love, I really love. Their newest album I wasn't that familiar with, except for Juicebox and Heart in a Cage, which I had seen them perform on Letterman the week before. Their set included all of the songs I wanted to hear like Reptilla, Hard to Explain, Someday, 12:51, Under Control, Last Night, The End Has No End. Julian is a much different character than I'd imagined. He seemed like such a polite man. heh... at one point he said, "You guys are cool motherfuckers-- God bless you." He said the latter a few more times. It was really cute and I enjoyed watching his dancing, which looks a lot like calisthenics. It was a fun show.
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April 10th - Nickel Creek has been on a Spring tour playing at universities and the closest one to me was in Urbana, IL. As fate would have it, Colleen was home at this point so I decided that we should take the three hour road-trip together to see them. The show was fantastic as usual and Colleen finally witnessed the wonderful spectacle of Toxic, including Chris' “sexy” dancing/gyrating. Britney Spears is only enjoyable when guys sing her songs. I don't know what that says about me, but... They opened with First and Last Waltz and moved right into Helena, as on the album. Beautiful and works just as effectively live. First and Last Waltz is a haunting instrumental that gives me the feeling of being in an old ballroom and watching couples a hundred years gone, twirling around the room to this eerie, ethereal music. Which immediately takes you into the soft entreating words of a seemingly sweet character who quickly reveals himself to be a manipulative bastard. The music builds as the illusion and his defenses crumble. It's really a fantastic song on so many levels; makes me want to flesh out this character. And live it has the same effect, even without the drums. They were in rare form that night; the banter was a little off balance; Chris had started it by talking about how he'd been in a fog all day, but that we'd brought him out of it, to which we clapped and he said, "Oh, don't clap at that. Now I feel like I was asking for a clap and that's just lame." lol. Chris was being a bit more self-depreciating than usual. A request for The Lighthouse Tale was shouted from the audience, which set Chris off on a tangent about how he'd written that song at age 15. He obviously doesn't appreciate, as we can, that his ability at 15 to create that story and the music is an accomplishment. Obviously, his talent has surpassed it by leaps and bounds, but it's something to be proud of. lol, anyway, Sean responded with, "At least you weren't 25 when you wrote it like I was with this song," which took them into This Side. There were a couple of moments where Chris’ playing seemed erratic, Sara visibly thrown by it. Anthony was fabulous as usual. Before it began, some guy called out to Sara, "Are you free later?" which got, "Good gracious!" in return. Anyway, there's a great theatricality to how they perform it. They bring out an old fashioned mic and Sara stands before it alone with a ukulele. The boys are in the background, with their backs turned to her, conspicuously paying her no attention as she sings, "Anthony, Anthony, oh he said he can't love me. But I think he can. Yes I think he can and I told him that just before he ran. Just before he ran..." at which point the boys join her with their instruments and harmony, "And he's not looking back. He's not looking back 'cause he doesn't want anything I have or anything I am. Anthony, Anthony, oh he said he can't love me. Anthony." My anthem, that song;) Sean was a lot more talkative that night, which was nice. He usually seems so shy... For the encore, each one came out and played a solo. Sara was first and played a Gillian Welch song Everything is Free with the uke again. Chris came out next and Sara sat on the stage floor behind him to the left as he played Bach. I won't rave about his fingers (yet; I was too far away to really see them). He talked about how he’s convinced that Bach actually wrote that sonata for the mandolin, “His wife was very mad at him for the drinking, the infidelity and the ten kids, that at his death, she changed the manuscript to violin as her final revenge.” And someone yelled for him to play Mozart, to which he responded, “Mozart wrote crap for the mandolin,” we laughed , “He actually only wrote a couple of pieces for it and in his defense, they were supposed to be lame. One was an aria from Don Giovanni and it sounded like this…” An exaggerated baroque staccato which he stops abruptly, “This was supposed to seduce a woman.” The audience shouted and whooped and he just furrowed his brow and shook his head at us. Then Sean played Runaway Girl from his solo album Blinders On, Chris now laying behind him. Then they played a song from Mark's (the bassist) solo album. And finally, Chris relented and they played Lighthouse Tale, “My apologies to any English Professors here tonight.” And we were happy.
Colleen and I decided to go outside afterwards and wait by the bus in hopes that Chris would come out and play for us. At first, we were right by the stage door and not wanting to be the first gawking fan to be seen, I moved around the curve of the rope and sat on the curb to wait, but Colleen stood nearer to the crowd for a while until I made her come over and block the wind;) I’m not cruel; she likes being cold. We’d been outside the auditorium for about 10 minutes when I saw him walk out of the tour bus. “Colleen, look at what he has with him!” “A beer?” I just laughed at her, “You’re right. He does have a beer, but I was thinking his mandolin…” He made his way toward the sidewalk across from where I was sitting. So we moved in and he stood 5 ft in front of me, in profile. He told us he was going to play some songs from his new album due out in September. He’d recorded it with friends as a sort of bluegrass quartet. The first song was an original instrumental. Next he sang Stay Away. This is where I really started kicking myself for not bringing a recording device of some kind. The lyrics were beautiful and felt very real. The little bit that I can remember is, “You are the devil, stay away from me.” Colleen, sitting on the curb, was stifling a laugh and of course I laid my hand on her head to get her to stop;) But really, the bluntness didn’t sound ridiculous to me. It was so heavy with the pain he appears to be feeling. The next original was called, How to Build a Woman from the Ground Up, which if the former was sad… The imagery was incredibly vivid. I don’t recall exactly what the lyrics were, but I remember something about going to the river and catching a fish. Cutting your wrists and pouring the blood into the fish… blood falls to the ground and turns the dirt to mud. Whew, holy shit. Obviously, it was much more to it and it was more polished than that, but it was effective. I might totally be reading into things, but he just seems like his heart is broken and in turn, he’s immersing himself in his art, which is good. It’s a perfect refuge, but the idea that artists must suffer for their art has always been a disturbing concept to me. I much prefer to think that instead, there must never be complacency, there should always be something to strive for. Another peak to traverse. Are they the same thing, suffering and the lack of feeling completely satisfied? I don‘t think so. That’s life… there is no plateau of unending happiness. The joy comes from the journey, there is no end, there’s always another goal to reach. I hope he comes out of that soon. Anyway, he then did covers that’ll be on the album. The first was a White Stripes song I’m not familiar with and the second was “Heart in a Cage.” I whispered to Colleen, “They played this on Saturday…” He introduced it by saying, “This song was meant to be a bluegrass song,” we laughed, “I know, damn them.” Can I tell you how much I love him singing this song? It’s my favorite Strokes song from their new album, but I LOVED him singing it. “Well, I don’t feel better when I’m fucking around. And I don’t write better when I’m stuck in the ground.” An argument against suffering for art? “So don’t teach me a lesson ’cause I’ve already learned. Yeah, the sun will be shining and my children will burn. Oh, the heart beats in its cage.” I was feeling really cold, but I just alternated between grasping my hands, arms twisted in front of me and holding my hands to my mouth and breathing on them when I wasn’t lip-synching with him. This was by far the most superior vantage point I’ve ever had and my eyes drifted between watching his eyes, his mouth sing and his fingers sliding over the strings. He glanced over at me a few times; it was cool to feel really present there. And the third cover was Gillian Welch’s Wayside/Back in Time. Then he asked for requests. Someone suggested The Wrong Idea, but he said, “Oh, I haven’t played that in a long time… I can do On Ice. This song’s from the other side of that relationship…” Nice to hear one of my favorites from Deceiver. He fumbled a bit on the bridge, so after he finished we clapped and he said, “I get another go at that bridge. I played it on guitar on the album.” So he tried a couple more times and nailed it. We clapped and he shook his head at us for humoring him. “Let’s try Bach again, but this time in E minor.” My eyes glued to his fingers… “Any other requests?” “Poor Places [Wilco],” came from a disembodied voice in the back, that I soon recognized was Sara’s at Chris’ response, “Of course, must play the request of the most important person…” Pretty song, I knew I’d heard before. He finished it and said, “I think I’m gonna go in the bus now.” This was the first time I've seen him perform after a concert, though I’d heard previously that he does this often. Damn… I’ve been missing out. We had a great discussion about all of it on the way home and I sang my heart out... Why did I not have something to record this? Might have to beg their forum on the off-chance someone recorded the outdoor session.
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April 13 - Lindsay, Emily and I wanted to go somewhere and hang out and they decided we should go to Mississippi Nights. None of us knew the artists playing, but it was $12 and something to do. Josh Hoge played first. He had a bit of a Justin Timberlake, funk sound. He said he’d be over at the merch table giving away free cds. So Lindsay and I went over and he chatted with her for a good while. He shook my hand and I told him I enjoyed the set and he thanked me and went back to Lindsay saying, “You should come say hi later.” Emily could see from our table that he was into her. “He talked to you so long and he kept touching your arm.” Later, we saw him over at the bar and Emily and I eventually convinced her to go get another drink and see if he’d come and talk to her. Which he did. lol, Emily and I were doing our best to get Lindsay thinking about any guy but Jeremy. It worked for the evening;) Mat Kearney played next. His voice sounded a bit like Chris Martin’s, but not as good. And he’d lapse into a sort of talking-singing, which was annoying to me. Finally, the headliner, Matt Wertz, came on. He was alright; he was big into audience participation. Linds said goodbye to Josh, was offered his number, declined and we went home:)
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April 18 - Rhett Miller played at the Gargoyle at Wash U. There was a nice sized group of us that went: Annie, Newpie, Sue, and Melissa. Lindsay was originally going to go, but she found out about some major paperwork that needed to be done for school the next day and just didn’t have the time. It was fun to go with Annie and Susie without their husbands being there… I don’t think I’ve hung out with just them in years, so it was pretty cool. Rhett was as gorgeous as ever. He has this ability to look out into the crowd and appear to be staring right at you. lol, we were all under that impression. He played a good mix of his solo albums and even some Old 97s. He played pretty much everything I wanted to hear, with the exception of Terrible Vision. It was weird to see him playing with other people, especially on the Old 97s songs. But it was a good show… he has such a great voice and a presence you can’t stop watching. Afterward, we went to the Hi-Pointe and chatted for awhile. I got a bit of an education about our family, that as the youngest, I was never aware of. Some illusions were shattered. Being such a large family, it’s interesting how different we all are. Even with the same parents and the same environment, we each had different outlooks and opinions and insecurities.
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April 8th - Dede landed two tickets for Pat to see the Strokes. Sean was originally going to go with him, but Pat thought that Sean felt obligated to go and asked if I was interested. I said, yeah, if Sean didn't want to go, I'd love to. And I'm really glad we went. We got to the Pageant at 9 just as they were setting up for the Strokes. They came out not long after we arrived and it was a pretty fabulous show. For me, they're one of those bands where the majority of the songs on an album are so-so, but the 3 or 4 that I love, I really love. Their newest album I wasn't that familiar with, except for Juicebox and Heart in a Cage, which I had seen them perform on Letterman the week before. Their set included all of the songs I wanted to hear like Reptilla, Hard to Explain, Someday, 12:51, Under Control, Last Night, The End Has No End. Julian is a much different character than I'd imagined. He seemed like such a polite man. heh... at one point he said, "You guys are cool motherfuckers-- God bless you." He said the latter a few more times. It was really cute and I enjoyed watching his dancing, which looks a lot like calisthenics. It was a fun show.
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April 10th - Nickel Creek has been on a Spring tour playing at universities and the closest one to me was in Urbana, IL. As fate would have it, Colleen was home at this point so I decided that we should take the three hour road-trip together to see them. The show was fantastic as usual and Colleen finally witnessed the wonderful spectacle of Toxic, including Chris' “sexy” dancing/gyrating. Britney Spears is only enjoyable when guys sing her songs. I don't know what that says about me, but... They opened with First and Last Waltz and moved right into Helena, as on the album. Beautiful and works just as effectively live. First and Last Waltz is a haunting instrumental that gives me the feeling of being in an old ballroom and watching couples a hundred years gone, twirling around the room to this eerie, ethereal music. Which immediately takes you into the soft entreating words of a seemingly sweet character who quickly reveals himself to be a manipulative bastard. The music builds as the illusion and his defenses crumble. It's really a fantastic song on so many levels; makes me want to flesh out this character. And live it has the same effect, even without the drums. They were in rare form that night; the banter was a little off balance; Chris had started it by talking about how he'd been in a fog all day, but that we'd brought him out of it, to which we clapped and he said, "Oh, don't clap at that. Now I feel like I was asking for a clap and that's just lame." lol. Chris was being a bit more self-depreciating than usual. A request for The Lighthouse Tale was shouted from the audience, which set Chris off on a tangent about how he'd written that song at age 15. He obviously doesn't appreciate, as we can, that his ability at 15 to create that story and the music is an accomplishment. Obviously, his talent has surpassed it by leaps and bounds, but it's something to be proud of. lol, anyway, Sean responded with, "At least you weren't 25 when you wrote it like I was with this song," which took them into This Side. There were a couple of moments where Chris’ playing seemed erratic, Sara visibly thrown by it. Anthony was fabulous as usual. Before it began, some guy called out to Sara, "Are you free later?" which got, "Good gracious!" in return. Anyway, there's a great theatricality to how they perform it. They bring out an old fashioned mic and Sara stands before it alone with a ukulele. The boys are in the background, with their backs turned to her, conspicuously paying her no attention as she sings, "Anthony, Anthony, oh he said he can't love me. But I think he can. Yes I think he can and I told him that just before he ran. Just before he ran..." at which point the boys join her with their instruments and harmony, "And he's not looking back. He's not looking back 'cause he doesn't want anything I have or anything I am. Anthony, Anthony, oh he said he can't love me. Anthony." My anthem, that song;) Sean was a lot more talkative that night, which was nice. He usually seems so shy... For the encore, each one came out and played a solo. Sara was first and played a Gillian Welch song Everything is Free with the uke again. Chris came out next and Sara sat on the stage floor behind him to the left as he played Bach. I won't rave about his fingers (yet; I was too far away to really see them). He talked about how he’s convinced that Bach actually wrote that sonata for the mandolin, “His wife was very mad at him for the drinking, the infidelity and the ten kids, that at his death, she changed the manuscript to violin as her final revenge.” And someone yelled for him to play Mozart, to which he responded, “Mozart wrote crap for the mandolin,” we laughed , “He actually only wrote a couple of pieces for it and in his defense, they were supposed to be lame. One was an aria from Don Giovanni and it sounded like this…” An exaggerated baroque staccato which he stops abruptly, “This was supposed to seduce a woman.” The audience shouted and whooped and he just furrowed his brow and shook his head at us. Then Sean played Runaway Girl from his solo album Blinders On, Chris now laying behind him. Then they played a song from Mark's (the bassist) solo album. And finally, Chris relented and they played Lighthouse Tale, “My apologies to any English Professors here tonight.” And we were happy.
Colleen and I decided to go outside afterwards and wait by the bus in hopes that Chris would come out and play for us. At first, we were right by the stage door and not wanting to be the first gawking fan to be seen, I moved around the curve of the rope and sat on the curb to wait, but Colleen stood nearer to the crowd for a while until I made her come over and block the wind;) I’m not cruel; she likes being cold. We’d been outside the auditorium for about 10 minutes when I saw him walk out of the tour bus. “Colleen, look at what he has with him!” “A beer?” I just laughed at her, “You’re right. He does have a beer, but I was thinking his mandolin…” He made his way toward the sidewalk across from where I was sitting. So we moved in and he stood 5 ft in front of me, in profile. He told us he was going to play some songs from his new album due out in September. He’d recorded it with friends as a sort of bluegrass quartet. The first song was an original instrumental. Next he sang Stay Away. This is where I really started kicking myself for not bringing a recording device of some kind. The lyrics were beautiful and felt very real. The little bit that I can remember is, “You are the devil, stay away from me.” Colleen, sitting on the curb, was stifling a laugh and of course I laid my hand on her head to get her to stop;) But really, the bluntness didn’t sound ridiculous to me. It was so heavy with the pain he appears to be feeling. The next original was called, How to Build a Woman from the Ground Up, which if the former was sad… The imagery was incredibly vivid. I don’t recall exactly what the lyrics were, but I remember something about going to the river and catching a fish. Cutting your wrists and pouring the blood into the fish… blood falls to the ground and turns the dirt to mud. Whew, holy shit. Obviously, it was much more to it and it was more polished than that, but it was effective. I might totally be reading into things, but he just seems like his heart is broken and in turn, he’s immersing himself in his art, which is good. It’s a perfect refuge, but the idea that artists must suffer for their art has always been a disturbing concept to me. I much prefer to think that instead, there must never be complacency, there should always be something to strive for. Another peak to traverse. Are they the same thing, suffering and the lack of feeling completely satisfied? I don‘t think so. That’s life… there is no plateau of unending happiness. The joy comes from the journey, there is no end, there’s always another goal to reach. I hope he comes out of that soon. Anyway, he then did covers that’ll be on the album. The first was a White Stripes song I’m not familiar with and the second was “Heart in a Cage.” I whispered to Colleen, “They played this on Saturday…” He introduced it by saying, “This song was meant to be a bluegrass song,” we laughed, “I know, damn them.” Can I tell you how much I love him singing this song? It’s my favorite Strokes song from their new album, but I LOVED him singing it. “Well, I don’t feel better when I’m fucking around. And I don’t write better when I’m stuck in the ground.” An argument against suffering for art? “So don’t teach me a lesson ’cause I’ve already learned. Yeah, the sun will be shining and my children will burn. Oh, the heart beats in its cage.” I was feeling really cold, but I just alternated between grasping my hands, arms twisted in front of me and holding my hands to my mouth and breathing on them when I wasn’t lip-synching with him. This was by far the most superior vantage point I’ve ever had and my eyes drifted between watching his eyes, his mouth sing and his fingers sliding over the strings. He glanced over at me a few times; it was cool to feel really present there. And the third cover was Gillian Welch’s Wayside/Back in Time. Then he asked for requests. Someone suggested The Wrong Idea, but he said, “Oh, I haven’t played that in a long time… I can do On Ice. This song’s from the other side of that relationship…” Nice to hear one of my favorites from Deceiver. He fumbled a bit on the bridge, so after he finished we clapped and he said, “I get another go at that bridge. I played it on guitar on the album.” So he tried a couple more times and nailed it. We clapped and he shook his head at us for humoring him. “Let’s try Bach again, but this time in E minor.” My eyes glued to his fingers… “Any other requests?” “Poor Places [Wilco],” came from a disembodied voice in the back, that I soon recognized was Sara’s at Chris’ response, “Of course, must play the request of the most important person…” Pretty song, I knew I’d heard before. He finished it and said, “I think I’m gonna go in the bus now.” This was the first time I've seen him perform after a concert, though I’d heard previously that he does this often. Damn… I’ve been missing out. We had a great discussion about all of it on the way home and I sang my heart out... Why did I not have something to record this? Might have to beg their forum on the off-chance someone recorded the outdoor session.
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April 13 - Lindsay, Emily and I wanted to go somewhere and hang out and they decided we should go to Mississippi Nights. None of us knew the artists playing, but it was $12 and something to do. Josh Hoge played first. He had a bit of a Justin Timberlake, funk sound. He said he’d be over at the merch table giving away free cds. So Lindsay and I went over and he chatted with her for a good while. He shook my hand and I told him I enjoyed the set and he thanked me and went back to Lindsay saying, “You should come say hi later.” Emily could see from our table that he was into her. “He talked to you so long and he kept touching your arm.” Later, we saw him over at the bar and Emily and I eventually convinced her to go get another drink and see if he’d come and talk to her. Which he did. lol, Emily and I were doing our best to get Lindsay thinking about any guy but Jeremy. It worked for the evening;) Mat Kearney played next. His voice sounded a bit like Chris Martin’s, but not as good. And he’d lapse into a sort of talking-singing, which was annoying to me. Finally, the headliner, Matt Wertz, came on. He was alright; he was big into audience participation. Linds said goodbye to Josh, was offered his number, declined and we went home:)
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April 18 - Rhett Miller played at the Gargoyle at Wash U. There was a nice sized group of us that went: Annie, Newpie, Sue, and Melissa. Lindsay was originally going to go, but she found out about some major paperwork that needed to be done for school the next day and just didn’t have the time. It was fun to go with Annie and Susie without their husbands being there… I don’t think I’ve hung out with just them in years, so it was pretty cool. Rhett was as gorgeous as ever. He has this ability to look out into the crowd and appear to be staring right at you. lol, we were all under that impression. He played a good mix of his solo albums and even some Old 97s. He played pretty much everything I wanted to hear, with the exception of Terrible Vision. It was weird to see him playing with other people, especially on the Old 97s songs. But it was a good show… he has such a great voice and a presence you can’t stop watching. Afterward, we went to the Hi-Pointe and chatted for awhile. I got a bit of an education about our family, that as the youngest, I was never aware of. Some illusions were shattered. Being such a large family, it’s interesting how different we all are. Even with the same parents and the same environment, we each had different outlooks and opinions and insecurities.
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