i'm killing myself

[riverfenixrust]

Not like this is shocking me or anything -- so I drank a lot this weekend and made a fool out of myself. Even worse, I give into my temptations just to get a quick fix on a feeling I can't put a price on, duplicate, imitate, or get from any other thing. I can't be happy. I can't be satisfied without it. I'm too neurotic to even deal with my own shit. I just want a magical sign that I'm doing this for a good reason.

I hate that you know everything i'm thinking. At the same time I love it.

I am so pathetic. Ew.