Getting to Know You (2/?)
Chapter 2: "Bonding"
Summary: Alvie tries to learn more about the mystery man with the cane. Dialogue-only between House and his new roommate, Alvie.
Words: 582
Rating: PG? PG13? You decide; it takes place in a mental hospital after all.
Warning: Spoilers for upcoming Season 6 Premier, "Broken".
A/N: Title claims no relation to the famous Rogers and Hammerstein musical.
Disclaimer: This is where I do a funny tap-dance singing that I don't own them.
“Excuse, um, excuse me, Mr. Greg Sir---"
"Sir, Alvie. Just…Sir. And don’t touch me, or next time you’ll regret it.”
“Sorry, Sir. Um, Sir?”
“You don’t give up, do you.”
“You didn’t say anything in group today.”
“Yes…that’s right. You’re very astute. And you and I are both freaks. Anything else not so obvious that you might want to add? And if you’re trying to bore me to tears, it isn’t working. I’m already sobbing buckets down my throat.”
“How come you didn’t say anything?”
“I didn’t want to say anything, Alvie, and there’s nothing in the big book of rules that says I have to. Even though we’re locked up in here we do have choices...same as prisoners. And while we’re on the subject, how come you trust them so easily? Aren’t you a paranoid schizophrenic? You’re supposed to be agreeing with me right now, Alvie. You’re a real disappointment to your species, you know.”
“I thought we were the same species.”
“Maybe on your planet we are.”
“So why were you looking so angry when Tim was crying about not ever being able to get a hug from his dad?”
“He’s being a hypocrite.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think about it Alvie. You may be a helpless freak of nature but give it a minute. His father beat the crap out of him. He was a tyrant. Why would he still want a hug from that bastard? What would he care if the guy hugged him or not? He obviously never loved him. He should just grow up and get over it.”
“Did your father ever hug you?”
“This has nothing to do with me, Alvie, so…Drop it, or I’m just going to ignore you.”
“Why can’t you tell me? Either he did or he didn’t.”
“Why do you even care about anything that has to do with my father at all?”
“You’re my roommate.”
“If I was a criminal sent here because I tried to kill my wife and child and then tried to off myself because of what a sorry ass I knew I was, would you still care?”
“If you were nice to me, I would give you a chance.”
“You’re pathetic.”
“Don’t you like me because I’m your roommate?”
“Who said anything about ‘like’?”
“We’re talking, aren’t we?”
“Talking to someone has no correlation to caring.”
“So you’d talk like this to the guy who killed his family too?”
“Almost killed. And…maybe, if I was bored…I’d try to have some fun with him.”
“Like how? How do you have fun with a murderer?”
“Almost-murderer. And there’s lots of ways to drive a person who’s already insane even more insane than they already are…you just have to know which buttons to push.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“Because it’s way more fun than just sitting around here, doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself.”
“You feel sorry for yourself? Why?”
“Forget it. It’s stupid. Change the subject.”
“No, that’s interesting….I want you to explain it.”
“You’re starting to sound like my shrink, Alvie. Cut it out. It’s enough that I have to deal with him prying into every corner of my personal life.”
“I thought you said you didn’t have any personal life.”
“That was an excuse to the Powers that Be so that I wouldn’t have to say anything at group therapy.”
“I don’t think that they believed you, Sir.”
“How insightful of you, Alvie. Now, can I please use the bathroom in peace?”
Click here if you missed the first chapter...