a reflection of things
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." (1 Corinthians 13:11-12)
Those lines, that I had read in the Bible years and years ago, make sense to me now for perhaps the first time in my life. I always assumed that it meant that now that I was an adult, I had to give up playing with toys and video games and be oh-so-serious and have no fun. It seems to me now that it is saying that in order to become a man, I have to give up a childish mode of thinking. The fear, the hatred, the shyness, the paranoia in my mind that I so casually splatter all over LiveJournal--those are all vestiges of my childhood, the defense mechanisms I assumed to avoid being hurt. Yet my view of the world is tainted by these thoughts and feelings; it is like I am seeing "a poor reflection in a mirror" instead of the real world. Being an adult means seeing the world on its own terms, face to face. Divesting myself of the illusions that have plagued my life will be quite a challenge. But perhaps the knowledge that these are illusions--instead of objective truth--is the first and most important step.
The second step is made clear in the context of the chapter. "The greatest of these is love." I don't need to quote the whole darn chapter--you all have your Bibles--but it obvious that the traits of what Paul calls "love" (or "charity" in some translations) are what I need right now. I have not been patient or kind--especially not to myself. Despite my views on God and religion, and the apostle Paul, I find this psychologically poignant right now. I need to stop acting like a victim of "the world" and start being an active participant in the world's healing. It's time to put childish ways behind me.
Those lines, that I had read in the Bible years and years ago, make sense to me now for perhaps the first time in my life. I always assumed that it meant that now that I was an adult, I had to give up playing with toys and video games and be oh-so-serious and have no fun. It seems to me now that it is saying that in order to become a man, I have to give up a childish mode of thinking. The fear, the hatred, the shyness, the paranoia in my mind that I so casually splatter all over LiveJournal--those are all vestiges of my childhood, the defense mechanisms I assumed to avoid being hurt. Yet my view of the world is tainted by these thoughts and feelings; it is like I am seeing "a poor reflection in a mirror" instead of the real world. Being an adult means seeing the world on its own terms, face to face. Divesting myself of the illusions that have plagued my life will be quite a challenge. But perhaps the knowledge that these are illusions--instead of objective truth--is the first and most important step.
The second step is made clear in the context of the chapter. "The greatest of these is love." I don't need to quote the whole darn chapter--you all have your Bibles--but it obvious that the traits of what Paul calls "love" (or "charity" in some translations) are what I need right now. I have not been patient or kind--especially not to myself. Despite my views on God and religion, and the apostle Paul, I find this psychologically poignant right now. I need to stop acting like a victim of "the world" and start being an active participant in the world's healing. It's time to put childish ways behind me.