Not Quite Dead - Now with added Titanium!
Well, on Thursday 7th I came --> this <-- close to an undignified bug on a windshield death. A driver who shall henceforth be known as "Stupid Old Man in Big Black People Carrier of DOOM" (SOMIBBPCOD?) decided to randomly pull out across the dual carriageway I was pootling down on the last leg of the bike commute to work. I smashed into the broad side of him but luckily I was only doing 50mph as I'd just tightened the chain a wee bit too much before setting out. As far as I can gather my head went through one of the windows - I was covered in broken glass when I got to A&E, possibly explaining big cuts on my chin and upper lip despite a closed-face helmet. If my head had hit the bit between the windows, which is reinforced by the rollcage, then according to the doctor (who I vaguely and disconcertingly remember looking like the actor who plays Lucifer in Supernatural), my neck would've snapped and then "game over". Impressively, my glasses remain completely unscathed! I wearing them right now.
All I remember is driving up until about 2 minutes before the crash, then waking up in the ambulance thinking I'd woken up from a dream about a black driver-side door (so heading from my left to right) rushing up to meet me. I thought maybe I'd dreamt the whole ride to work too and was waking up late for work - Except then I realised I was in an epic amount of pain and my head had been tied down to a board and someone was cutting my clothes off. Turns out my right wrist was reduced to pulp and my handlebars had likely been the culprit for snapping my thigh bone in two as I was thrown forward. The paramedics tried to explain that they'd picked me up from "a T-bone at Stonygate" which made no sense to me because I didn't know that was the name of that junction. A&E covered my left arm and right foot in extra bruises trying to find a way to put an IV in but eventually had to stick it in my groin. I kept complaining that my head was tied down so hard that the back of my scalp felt like it was burning so I was very happy to get that first brace off... but then they played a game I call 'Human Christmas Cracker' which involved a few peeps grabbing my shoulders and a few more grabbing my left foot/right hand and pulling as hard as they could. I asked if I was supposed to yell "Bang!" for them at some point then shit out a crappy toy... painkillers are great like that.
On the Friday I had an operation to have what sounded like have a giant metal rod hammered into my left thigh (up through my knee) and a tiny metal mechano set installed in my right wrist. Both come complete with impressive Frankenstein style stitches although I've yet to see if the Hellboy tattoo on my wrist has been butchered. There's also an impressive chunk of flesh that's been shaved off my left knee that I'm calling the zombie patch (the edges of it actually went green at one point and it wasn't until yesterday that my nagging resulted in getting it cleaned). There are several large patches of skin on that knee/thigh that have gone numb and I am literally covered in bruises that leave me with no comfortable sleep option.
It feels like some determination should have me walking and drawing again - tomorrow the physio are going to see how I tackle stairs armed with crutches, slipper socks and a large dollop of stubbornness, hopefully I'll be home before next weekend because typing on my phone at the moment is a pain in every sense. On the plus side I have until the end of March guaranteed off work and the number of cards/presents/visits that immediately materialised from people I honestly thought did not give that much of a shit has been life-affirmingly wonderful. I'm hoping to use some of my recovery allowance catching up with mah online peeps because its been waaaaay overdue and at least now I have very little else to do!
All I remember is driving up until about 2 minutes before the crash, then waking up in the ambulance thinking I'd woken up from a dream about a black driver-side door (so heading from my left to right) rushing up to meet me. I thought maybe I'd dreamt the whole ride to work too and was waking up late for work - Except then I realised I was in an epic amount of pain and my head had been tied down to a board and someone was cutting my clothes off. Turns out my right wrist was reduced to pulp and my handlebars had likely been the culprit for snapping my thigh bone in two as I was thrown forward. The paramedics tried to explain that they'd picked me up from "a T-bone at Stonygate" which made no sense to me because I didn't know that was the name of that junction. A&E covered my left arm and right foot in extra bruises trying to find a way to put an IV in but eventually had to stick it in my groin. I kept complaining that my head was tied down so hard that the back of my scalp felt like it was burning so I was very happy to get that first brace off... but then they played a game I call 'Human Christmas Cracker' which involved a few peeps grabbing my shoulders and a few more grabbing my left foot/right hand and pulling as hard as they could. I asked if I was supposed to yell "Bang!" for them at some point then shit out a crappy toy... painkillers are great like that.
On the Friday I had an operation to have what sounded like have a giant metal rod hammered into my left thigh (up through my knee) and a tiny metal mechano set installed in my right wrist. Both come complete with impressive Frankenstein style stitches although I've yet to see if the Hellboy tattoo on my wrist has been butchered. There's also an impressive chunk of flesh that's been shaved off my left knee that I'm calling the zombie patch (the edges of it actually went green at one point and it wasn't until yesterday that my nagging resulted in getting it cleaned). There are several large patches of skin on that knee/thigh that have gone numb and I am literally covered in bruises that leave me with no comfortable sleep option.
It feels like some determination should have me walking and drawing again - tomorrow the physio are going to see how I tackle stairs armed with crutches, slipper socks and a large dollop of stubbornness, hopefully I'll be home before next weekend because typing on my phone at the moment is a pain in every sense. On the plus side I have until the end of March guaranteed off work and the number of cards/presents/visits that immediately materialised from people I honestly thought did not give that much of a shit has been life-affirmingly wonderful. I'm hoping to use some of my recovery allowance catching up with mah online peeps because its been waaaaay overdue and at least now I have very little else to do!