So Mum's in Hospital Now
I found a tenner in the pineapple ice bucket Mum used to keep her hash in to cover the taxi, we got to the surgery and she promptly took a funny turn. I kind of flapped about in front of the receptionist until the Nurse said she could lie down in her exam room and she'd take a gander, and within minutes there was talk of fluttering and crushing sensations in the chest, oxygen masks being whipped out and ambulances being called. Luckily, Mum had mentioned the overnight bag she'd packed, just in case she started puking blood again, so we were all set for hospital. The cheery little Nigerian doctor we were booked with came down at one point to find out where his appointment had gone but seemed very relieved when the nurse just shooed him away.
The paramedics were lovely, a younger guy who was talking about Itchy & Scratchy while fishing for blood samples and an older woman who was very no-nonsense about getting my reluctant mother's medical history out of her. Turns out she had a 'coronary episode' seven years ago and was diagnosed with Angina. But she refused to use the med spray they'd given her and she didn't tell me a damn thing. I felt a bit useless, kept shuffling around asking if there was anything I could do, and when they carted Mum out I got to carry what looked like a big ass defibrillator with a handle. There was a little boy in the waiting room who seemed more impressed by that bit of hardware than the tall lady on the stretcher. Those things were obviously not designed for tall people BTW. Mum's 6'4'' and her feet were hanging right off the end, bless her - complete with neon pink socks that said “Next Mood Swing: 2 minutes” on the ankle!
I spent about 4 hours in Casualty trying to work out just how much Mum had neglected to tell me or lied about over the last decade, but was mainly just glad that the pains in her chest eased off fairly quickly. They made her take the Angina spray but she explained that she hadn’t taken the doses she had at home because it gives her a crushing migraine. I think it's something to do with it dilating arteries in the brain and making it swell up, so I can understand, but I'd rather she had a migraine than a fluttery heart!
I got my marching orders at about 8pm, as they were moving her from A&E to the medical assessment unit, which is where I'll have to go hunt for her in the morning I suppose. Sod's law, I forgot my 'Rogue coat', so of course it bucketed it down. I squelched down to J's apartment block because he doesn't live far from the hospital there, but alas he wasn't in and I didn’t have my phone on me, so had to carry on down to the bus station to get back to Mum's house.
A quartet of chavs waiting for the same service as me tried to give me some agro, but they really picked the wrong day. They must have been yelling something at me from across the station that I didn't hear over my headphones; the first I knew of it was when some long streak of piss in a tracksuit screamed "'Ello" like a demented parrot, right next to my ear on his way to the stop. He seemed a bit confused when I just said Hello back and carried on reading the mag I'd bought at the hospital. There might have been more aimed my way in transit that I didn't hear either, really don't know or care. They were getting off on the stop before me when the streak of piss yelled bye and then his greasy little girlfriend actually grabbed my chin and tried to shake my head from side to side. If I'd had better reflexes and less fear of disease I think I might have bitten one of the bitch’s fingers off. As it was:
"What the fuck did you do that for?"
*she sort of shrugs while making a bizarre swirly hand gesture and a sort of "bleurgheourgh" noise*
"Oh, right, because you’re retarded."
"Y'wha?"
"Because in your world bleurgheourgh is the standard valid answer."
"Santa? What?"
*I smile at that*
*She starts striding back towards me and I'm so ready to giver her a slap when her girlie chav friend blocks her way and ushers her off the bus*
"Go back to the care home!"
*the bus driver laughs*
*she scowls and gobs a huge spitball right at my face as she walks past the bus, as if it's magically going to phase through the window and not just make a disgusting addition to the rain*
Got back about 10.30pm and pretty much ate my own weight in microwaved quiche, Pringles and sauerkraut.
What a fun day.