Insanity [Closed in progress]

[nota_ricequeen]

Who: Lucas Ransom and Zach Bosch
Where: Luke's Home
When: Day 39; early morning.
What: The blood's causing Luke to go insane.
Warnings: Luke insanity, adult situations and conversations.

Comments

[nota_ricequeen]

Luke did know how much time had passed. He wasn't paying attention since he had woken up and wrote to Zach. It was a calling for someone, anyone, but in truth Zach, despite the past, was the only person in this whole fucked up place that Luke would think to have his back.

He heard the knock at the door, or at least he thought that he did. He wasn't sure. Luke wasn't sure about anything, reality or fantasy was all the same to him right now. "He's dead.. He's fucking dead." Luke was sure of that. He was sure that Tran was dead right now.

Luke wasn't in New Orleans right now, and he couldn't protect Tran in this state. He was useless, and utterly pathetic.

[nota_ricequeen]

Luke finally heard the door open, but he didn't look up for the first few minutes. If it was someone coming to kill him he would accept it. If it was Zach, well then that's what he was expecting.

He looked up right when Zach started yelling at him. His eyes weren't seeing, and he didn't seem to have an ounce of lucidity that was shining through right now.

"He's dead. Zach he's dead. There was blood... He's fucking dead and I couldn't save him." there was an odd laughter that followed that, insane and bitter, possibly a little deranged.

[nota_ricequeen]

Luke just stared, something didn't sit right with him. That dream didn't sit right what so ever. Something in his heart told him that dream was real, that he had actually seen Tran dead and his guts spilled out onto the table.

"No... No..." He shook his head at Zach, he couldn't convince him, and it didn't help that Luke's hands were still covered in blood from the journal. Luck watch as his journal flew out the window.

He looked down at his hand before looking back up at Zach. "He's not.. I know it. I saw him Zach. He was fucking dead and I was too goddamn late! Split wide-fucking-open. I saw it!" He was shaking something awful. The journal had probably caused the dream, but even with it gone, Luke was having trouble realizing that his dream was just a dream.

[nota_ricequeen]

He did see it. He wasn't able to supress the memory of that. He knew Tran was dead. Even if it was the blood, even if it was just this fucked up place playing tricks on him. He knew Tran was dead. Luke was trying his damndest to calm the fuck down right now, but he didn't know if he could.

When Zach wiped his hands clean, there were no cuts aside from the already healing ones on his wrists from trying to infect people before with the blood in the journals. He shook his head at Zach, reaching up and gripping the boy's wrist. "You don't fucking get it. Tran broke up with me because I tried to kill him. I wanted him to die with me... instead of me!"

It may have been the journals that made him see it, but Luke could feel that it was real.

[nota_ricequeen]

When Zach pulled away one would figure that Luke was used to it. While normally he would have brushed it off with a sardonic smirk, he could admit that it stung this time around. He withdrew his hand into his lap and stared at the floor while Zach yelled at him.

"Are you scared of death Zach? Are you scared like he was?" He couldn't help but refer to Tran in the past tense right now. He could say that the AIDS made him like this, but in truth it hadn't. Luke was off his rocker long before he tested positive. "IT WAS A SHITTY THING FOR HIM TO SIGH IN RELIEF AND WALK AWAY CLEAN!!"

It was still a fucked up thing for him to do to Tran, but what else was he supposed to do?

[nota_ricequeen]

So that was an excuse? Because Tran was a kid he got a get out of jail free card? Because Luke was an adult he got to be cursed with this? It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Luke. Why should he waste away and die while Tran was free to walk around and live his happy fucking life?

Right now Tran was dead though, maybe it was true. He was becoming a little more lucid, but at the same time Luke still truly believed that him wishing Tran dead had killed him.

He wasn't looking for understanding in the least. He figured most people couldn't, so for the most part he didn't bother. He laughed, shaking his head. Oh Tran had been in love with death at one point. "They're all the same. You love death, and envision it being so romantic, until it becomes a goddamn reality, then you run. Fucking run!"

[nota_ricequeen]

Luke wasn't really referring to Zach per say, but just the lot of those little scene kinds hat ran around, dropping acid and reviling in death. Luke couldn't run away. He was trapped and stuck in this life, and he hadn't asked for it.

His thought process was completely derailed with the last of Zach's words. "What the fuck are you talking about?" If he didn't know any better, he would think Zach was hitting on him.

[nota_ricequeen]

He just stared for a moment. Most of his senses were coming back o him, and in some sick twisted way it'd be like being with Tran again. Zach had been with him, and therefor it was one way of Luke being with Tran again. He'd be able to feel alive again, even for a little bit.

He could give Zach credit where it was due. He hadn't seen what Zach could do, but he had heard a little bit of rumors, well a little bit of the rumors that didn't have to do with Zach's sexual escapades. He nodded slowly, weighing his decision before his hand moved to remove his pants, and slid them down his once tan hips.

He reached forward, gripping Zach by the hair and pulling him closer, placing an oddly soft kiss on Zach's cheek. It had been so long since anyone had touched him, since anyone had wanted to touch him, he wasn't quiet sure how to take it.