Pains of the Heart (Active, Open)
WHO: Lucy, whoever wants to help her out
WHAT: Having heard about the fate that may have befallen Gray, Lucy's feeling rather helpless, and so she tries to find a way to get out some pent up emotion.
WHERE: By the Fairy Tail household
WHEN: Dusk
( Without magic, can one still be a wizard? Without being a wizard, can one still be a fairy? )
WHAT: Having heard about the fate that may have befallen Gray, Lucy's feeling rather helpless, and so she tries to find a way to get out some pent up emotion.
WHERE: By the Fairy Tail household
WHEN: Dusk
( Without magic, can one still be a wizard? Without being a wizard, can one still be a fairy? )
And that... that spoke of Lucy's inner strength more keenly, she thought, than anything else.
She doesn't know what to say... Sei pondered over that one for a short moment, piecing her next statement together carefully. She didn't want to push Lucy over any edges, after all.
"I will admit," she began, slowly, quietly, murmuring from somewhere near Lucy's ear. "That while I am aware something has your entire household upset... I don't know what it is. Don't feel obligated to say anything you don't want to or don't think you can handle at the moment, but perhaps that would be the first place to start. And don't worry about rambling... say whatever needs to be said."
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She squeezed Sei tighter for a moment, burying her face in her neck. "I'm so weak, I think they feel like they have to protect me. They don't trust me. The worst part is, though, that they're probably right."
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"That's..." But no, that wasn't where she meant to start. Try again. "I'm sorry, Lucy." She took a deep breath, used that moment to organize her thoughts.
"I don't think it's that. I think that they've... they've been so badly hurt by this whole thing they've both retreated into their shells. They're probably both so distracted they don't know how to ask for help." She tilted her head just a bit to look once more to the sky. "I don't know Lluvia very well, so I won't say for her but... Erza seems to me like the kind of person that thinks if she's strong for everyone else then they won't need to worry about their problems."
Another pause, another slightly different train of thought. "They say the stronger something is, the more brittle it becomes. You can make armor out of diamonds but if you hit it hard enough... it won't just crack, it won't just break, it'll shatter into more pieces... into finer pieces than even glass."
Another deep breath. "They're showing a greater weakness right now than you are, Lucy. That you're willing to reach out to the others and help... that you're willing to speak of the problems at all gives you a strength they're both lacking right now. I can't fault them for it, not in the least. It's a hard, hard time you're all going through, and different people have many different ways of grieving." The side of her lip twitched up just a bit. "You can still help them. Perhaps not in the physical aspect of it... But maybe... just maybe... you haven't hit that armor hard enough to break it yet."
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It also helped that Lucy thought she understood what Sei was saying. Dammit, how could Sei be so completely confusing one moment, then make such perfect sense the next? It was unfair.
Unfair or not, Sei was right. Erza, she must have been hurting more than any of them, and yet she didn't know how to deal with that pain. How could she? In the years where people should have been there for her most, she was all alone, save for her friends who she lost, and the boy who betrayed her. She'd never learned that she could trust her problems to others. The same with Lluvia. Both women had spent so much of their lives alone, and when she thought of that Lucy's heart broke for them.
How could Sei know them both so much better than her? Lucy felt a little stupid.
After a moment of silence, she opened her eyes, and leaned back. "Then...then I'll just have to be their new armor," she said softly, her voice full of renewed determination. Then her voice became very small. "I just wish I knew how."
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"I think the first thing to do is bring them out of their shells. Remove their old armor and reforge it into something new," she tilted her head a little, thoughtfully. "Something stronger. But first you have to get them to really open up to you. There's no changing armor without a brief moment of revealing the soft, vulnerable self within, after all. Get your point across to them when and where they're at their weakest, fill it in with your strength."
She paused, then straightened her gaze, the smile falling off into a serious look, but one with a soft, gentle undertone. "That's what friends are for right? You make up for each others' weaknesses. And hey, it's a circle, not a straight line, so if they end up helping you in turn, don't try to reject it with the mentality of 'I'm the one helping out here damn it', nor should you feel weak because they did when you were trying to help them."
"Of course, I can tell you all the theory of it in the world, but it's harder to do when you actually get into the situation. Just... go with what your instincts are telling you. They're usually more right than your brain."
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Of course it would be hard, and Lucy was no stranger to overcoming adversity, but at the same time the task before her was a daunting one, and she looked down at her hand in the dirt. "I know it won't be. I've...never been the most forceful person at Fairy Tail. I mean, everyone's so much stronger than me magically, and I'm so new, I don't know everyone as well as they know each other. It's hard not to feel like I'll always be the new girl."
Suddenly her fingers dug into the dirt, making a tight fist, and when she looked up Sei's determination blazed in her own eyes. "But you're right, I'm not just the new girl, not just silly Lucy who gets her clothes blown off. I may never be as strong as them, but I'm something even more important, I'm their friend. I'm not letting them suffer alone anymore. Even if that's all I can do for them, then that will be enough."
Instincts, the driving force of all Fairy Tails actions. Sure, they tended to cause massive amounts of property destruction, but in the end, hadn't they also allowed Fairy Tail to accomplish what no one else could? Perhaps now Lucy could draw from that strength as well.
Blinking, she leaned in to hug Sei again. The girl had told her what she'd needed to hear. Lucy would never believe herself as being stronger than Erza or Lluvia, but by appealing to her duties as a friend, Sei had found the one thing that would let Lucy overcome her own lack of self confidence. She'd do anything for her friends.
"Thank you Sei, you're the best."
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There was no awkward moment of her trying to keep her balance with this hug, so she returned it happily, warmly, giving a little bit of an encouraging squeeze before she spoke again. "Any time, Lucy. Any time. Anything else you need from Rosa Gigantea, hm?"
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Lucy felt warmer in Sei's arms, and happily snuggled against the other girl, appreciating the tactile contact. "Thank y-wait, Rosa Gigantea?"
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It was nice... comfortable, even, Sei realized, now with a sober mindset, having someone so physically close to her on their own volition. She couldn't help but curl herself a little more in toward... around Lucy.
"Rosa Gigantea... my title," she started, her voice lowered a bit since talking loudly wasn't necessary with their proximity. "Mn, I'm on the student council at my school... the Yamayurikai - Mountain Lily Council. The officers of it are divided into three rose families... Rosa Gigantea, Foetida and Chinensis - Shirobara, kibara, benibara. White, yellow and red, respectively. And you tend to call the seniors by their rose family as a sign of respect within the school." She gave a sort of shrug. "So I'm used to being called, and calling myself Rosa Gigantea."
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If she even noticed Sei moving closer, Lucy certainly did not complain. Hugs featured strongly into all of her best memories, be they at Fairy Tail or with her mother and servants, and once she began to truly trust a person, she had no trouble hugging them. Though she'd only known Sei a short time, she'd already come to rely on the other girl a great deal.
Listening intently to Sei's explanation of her class system, Lucy admitted she was a bit confused by all the titles and families, but maybe it was just because she'd been privately tutored herself. "So you must be pretty respected back there to get a title like that," she said, then looking up tapped her lips with one finger. "Rosa Gigantea, it's pretty. I think it suits you."
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Sei took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and opened them again with a gentle smile. "It worked out, in the end."
Ah, but she'd been complimented, hadn't she? Sei took it with a soft laugh. "Thank you, though." And then a light-hearted, lopsided grin. "I think I'm pretty, too! Not often I'm the one getting complimented by cute girls."
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"I think I understand," she said softly, "Well, the part about people not knowing you at least. Not many people before Fairy Tail ever bothered to get to know me either." That gentle smile of Sei's face stirred something in the young wizard, and she smiled back brightly. "I'm glad it worked out at least."
There Sei went making her blush again, though this time it was less a full faced crimson and more a light dusting of red. Giving the other girl a deadpan look, Lucy replied, "Maybe they'd do it more if you didn't sweet talk them into speechlessness first you flirt." Damn that charming grin of hers.
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And yes, she did know how she could be sometimes. Like now.
"But that's the fun part!" she retorted, laughing. She leaned in a little toward Lucy's ear, speaking low as though it was some kind of secret. "I love people's reactions."
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She wasn't sure why, but something about the way Sei whispered in her ear made Lucy want to shiver, even though the coming evening was in no way cool. Suppressing any such weird reactions, Lucy just rolled her eyes and said, "That's because you're just a giant tease."
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Her look turned a little curious at Lucy's statement, and then it turned into something more relaxed... and then a bit flirtatious. "Depends on the person... If I find them interesting enough. Not everyone fits that bill."
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