I fear liberation [aim log; complete]
WHO: Claire Bennet [oww_pavement] and Hiruma Youichi [king_devilbat]
WHAT: The epitome of hurt/comfort. In short, Hiruma flips out, goes irrationally feral, and rips Claire a new one. Literally. This, of course, is followed by apologies and comforting and sheer terror over what happened. Good times.
WHERE: Their house. Number 7.
WHEN: Day 121, evening
king_devilbat (8:08:30 PM): Bored. Bored. Boredboredboredboredbored.
He didn't feel like sleeping, he wasn't hungry and the journals were boring as hell. It would be night soon, and he wanted to go outside and fly, stretch his wings. He groaned and laid back on the bed. He was still faintly annoyed by a lot of things. Being cooped up, not having anything decent to eat, not being able to fly and, of course, the mostly settled case of K'.
Mostly settled.
It still burned him up inside. That Claire had done it and that, now, they had an emotionally unstable living weapon to watch out for.
Well, HE did. She'd put HIM in danger. He frowled a little, deep in his throat. He stretched his wings out, the tips hanging over the edge of the bed.
oww_pavement (8:35:18 PM): Go outside and fly. Not on her dead body.
The full moon was almost over-- finally-- but that hardly meant that Selene wasn't going to be stalking the streets for any innocent werethings to kill pointlessly.
Goddammit, she hated that bitch.
Grabbing the plate with the slab of raw pork-- she'd mostly cleaned the blood off-- she went back upstairs, shutting the bedroom door behind her.
"Here. I'm bound to be tired so I don't know how great I am going to be at serving you food. My bodily clock isn't on graveyard shift like yours is, yet," she said, dropping the plate onto the bed.
"How are you feeling, anyway?"
king_devilbat (8:43:51 PM): But he wanted to, sooo bad.
Hiruma worried abut Selene, yes, but he had outmaneuvered her once before, he was sure he could do it again.
Hiruma took the plate from her with his feet. He found it was just too much trouble to eat with his hands, which weren't really built for that sort of thing, so his feet worked fine.
Besides, it's not like they were dirty, since he hadn't been outside the room.
"yeah, yeah, humans are diurnal, I know." He finished the pork in a couple of bites and then laid back down, stretching his wings back out.
"Bored! Boooored! Restless!" He chirped miserably, "I want to go outsiiiiide." He flapped his wings a little, the leathery things making a sort of slapping sound against the bed.
oww_pavement (8:54:37 PM): "That's disgusting." And here she was, feeding him, and feeding this bizarre drive along with it.
Sometimes she wondered how much of him was really in there, in control, and how much of him was a bat. Or, let alone, how much was an irate, annoying, whiny 6-year-old.
"You're not going anywhere. Not like this. Not until you're back to normal. Not if I can help it, anyway. And I'm not going anywhere, either. And if you make me fix that window one more time..."
Dropping onto the bed by his side, she idly let her hand trail over his arm.
"I can keep you occupied if you want," she offered, shrugging.
king_devilbat (9:16:52 PM): "Blah blah blah," He said with a mouthful of raw pork.
Hiruma himself wondered that. But mostly he wondered if there was any distinction, which, really, there wasn't. Well, not between the bat part and the human part. They were integrated.
He looked at the window and chittered mockingly, "Yeah, I don't think boarding up the window counts as 'fixing it', blondie." He growled and shrugged.
"I want to go somewhere, why won't you let me?"
He let her, it felt pretty good after all.
"Yeah, doing what? I don't wanna talk." Chiirrup.
oww_pavement (9:53:01 PM): Well wasn't he just being a pleasure to be around. Acting like a real grownup, he was.
"You could be a bit nicer," she grumbled.
"And I'll get someone to fix the window. This'll do for now." It was just a little darker in the room now, but at least it would be a bit harder for him to break out of that.
"You're not going anywhere, I don't want you to die. Selene is out there looking out like a hawk, and the last thing I can take is bringing you home in a dustpan."
Her hand didn't stop, though, and she sighed.
"You were the one who complained that I wasn't spending enough time talking with you, and too much talking with other people. And it's not like you don't want to do anything else with me, or that you really... could right now, so what do you want to do? Besides whine and bitch and moan?"
king_devilbat (10:05:19 PM): Yeah, well, you try waking up naked and furry and see how you want to act. He could guarantee, he didn't want to act like a gentleman.
"Well, if I really wanted to get out, you couldn't stop me." So there.
Hiruma rolled his eyes and twittered, "Selene couldn't catch me if her nonlife depended on it. She's not used to attacking flying things!"
"I want to go outsiiiiidddeeeeeee," He whined, "And I want to talk to you, yeah, but not while it's a hard to do so." He screeched a little to prove his point. "You'd rather be talking to someone else right now anyway, I'm sure." That last part sounded very bitter and he gave her a look.
oww_pavement (10:12:01 PM): So there. So there. Claire gritted her teeth and made a face, biting down on the inside of her cheeks. "Yes, and then you'd get yourself killed. A good lot that would do. Because you really want all of Rivelata to know what you are."
What.
Claire buried her face in her hands and shook her head.
"She could catch you. Even if she couldn't, I wouldn't want to take the chance."
By god, if he wasn't the whiniest thing she'd ever laid her eyes on.
"I could talk to you and you could listen, but--"
Oh. Oh wait.
"Excuse you," she said, glaring at him. "You know that's not true. How could you even insinuate such a thing-- you know you were wrong in the beginning, too! You overreacted, snapped, and that's fine, I get it, but you don't get to play the bitter bear about it anymore!"
king_devilbat (10:20:39 PM): Hiruma scoffed, "Who cares if they know? They all know already." Well, not really. But in his current state, he pretty much figured, who gives a shit? No one else really seemed to care about the other werebeasts.
"I'd be FINE. Geez." Selene didn't worry him. Well, she didn't worry him until she was RIGHT there.
He growled, "And why not? He's still thinking he's better than I am, and that's all your fault!" He growled again, furiously, sitting up and glaring at her.
oww_pavement (10:26:58 PM): "No, they don't. And you'd do well to practice some discretion." Another irate huff.
This was bad.
"Think about how it would make me feel to find you in pieces somewhere. Just think about it. I can't lose you. You could ship me off to the next mental hospital-- I love you, okay? You're important to me."
He still thought-- wait, since when did that matter? Since when did anyone else matter?
"It's MY fault?! My fault that he thinks something?! Let him think it! I love you, I don't think it! I'm with you, not him! You're being ridiculous!"
king_devilbat (10:48:30 PM): Another low growl, "Fine, I won't go out." She was right, after all. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do to argue.
Well, it didn't really matter. But in his irritated and demented mind state, it mattered for some reason.
"Yes, YOUR fault! YOU led him on! And how do I know, huh? What if you'd rather be with him?" The thought irritated him. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. He whirled on her and growled furiously, bearing his teeth. "I can't know ANYTHING!" A hiss.
oww_pavement (11:13:08 PM): At least she'd won that one.
But that wasn't the point at all, was it?
"I didn't mean to! I told him I'd be there for him, not-- he's like a five-year-old, what sort of a relationship could he want?! As far as I knew, I wasn't leading him on!"
He was going too far with this.
"I'm here with you! I broke his heart for you because I love you and I want to be with you! I'm here. I've stayed by yourself, I've done everything I could think of for you! I don't know what else to tell you, what else you want me to do! I love you! If you can't trust me, if we can't trust each other, we don't have anything!"
king_devilbat (11:20:15 PM): Too late.
It didn't matter what she said at this point. He was too angry, too far gone, and it was starting to show in his eyes as the irises increased in size.
"THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING! WHY WOULD I TRUST SOMEONE AS STUPID AS YOU?!" He growled furiously, covering his head and face in his wings, shaking a little with rage. When he removed the wings and opened his eyes, they were feral, glazed, furious. She was a liar, a cheat, he knew it, he just knew it, she would do it again she would break his heart again and he wasn't going to take it he was going to break her.
So he turned on the human, the girl who didn't care about him. He struck her with his wing, then let forth a screech and a roar, mixed together.
oww_pavement (11:28:45 PM): She'd tried.
That's what they'd tell them, she thought vaguely. She'd tried.
Not hard enough.
Not good enough.
"Hiruma, you're not thinking straight," she told him, eyes wide and wary, as if expecting something bad any moment, backing off the bed steadily, slowly--
Like dealing with an angry animal.
This wasn't right. Something-- something was horribly wrong.
He was looking at her differently, too.
"Hiruma, please," she went on, inching back, shaking slightly. "Please, this isn't you." The person most important to her, and now she was going to lose him to this--
He struck.
Claire flew to the floor, hand going to her face to find herself bleeding for a moment just before the wound healed.
Slower than before.
Scared eyes looked up at him, and she slowly shook her head as she rose to her feet again.
king_devilbat (11:34:36 PM): Of course he wasn't thinking straight.
He didn't need to think.
He simply needed to do something. He needed to take out his anger, his pain, on something. What better than the cause of it all herself?
A voice inside pleaded, begged not to hurt her, that this wasn't right and it wasn't going to help anything, goddammit, but the voice was drowned out in a sea of red and sound.
She stood up again. She quit bleeding.
Why did that happen, she wasn't supposed to stand back up.
The fur on his neck stood out straight, and he bared all of his teeth, growling as he pounced this time, with enough force to knock her over again, jumping with his feet out straight, digging those claws into her stomach, wrapping his wings around her and then biting into her shoulder, ripping, tearing, shaking.
He would teach her. He would make her see.
oww_pavement (11:47:24 PM): "Please," she whispered, voice trembling.
He wasn't himself, he wasn't listening, he wasn't there to hear her pleas. She was talking to an animal. A feral monster.
Was this what Selene had talked about?
Did it even matter? She'd said she'd take care of him-- take care of this. This mess was her responsibility.
What she hadn't expected was for him to jump on her, attack her-- not like this.
She fell onto her back, him on top of her, so much stronger like this-- she might have had training, but that didn't mean she could defeat someone that much bigger and stronger.
Not that she wanted to. This wasn't him-- she didn't want to hurt him, under any circumstances.
She could still heal, for the time being. He couldn't. She'd take the heat. It would be fine. Surely.
It wasn't.
She was heaved up into his grip, arms struggling and flailing as much as they could, trying to wrench herself out of his grasp.
Futile.
Then-- pain. White hot scalding pain, unlike even jumping from the 80ft platform of a gravel plant, or several stories onto the pavement, or cutting her own arm open countless times, sticking her hand into the disposal--
This hurt. And the only thing she could think of was how this had to be her fault, her blood doing this, going wrong and acting up. Something was wrong.
And it hurt like hell.
The scream was horrible and loud as she shrieked out, almost painful to listen to, and she struggled in his wake, but to no avail, tears running down her face as she tried to remind herself that this wasn't him.
king_devilbat (11:56:47 PM): He growled and shook, finally letting the girl go, blood dropping from his fangs and staining his fur.
The scream hurt his ears. He didn't like it. He didn't like the screaming. He screeched in her face, that horrible half-human, half-bat amalgam, breath fouled with her own blood.
He dug his claws in one more time, then got off of her... but he didn't relent. He grabbed the girl by the front of her shirt with both hands, somehow able to pick her up using only four fingers. He screeched again, and threw her, hard, into the wall. Hard enough to crack it.
Walking over, he was breathing heavily, lips pulled back in a snarl.
But the fury was waning, energy running out. And Hiruma coming back, the animal leaving. Slowly.
But not quite yet. He crouched down beside her and grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, beating her against the wall a couple of times, making the cracks larger, until her head had made a bloody indent in the plaster.
But he abated, suddenly. He held her by the shoulders for a brief moment, looking at her in her eyes.
And they changed. Not physically, they didn't go back to their human form, but in expression. The glazed look went away.
The monster screeched, this time like he was in pain, and backed up on all fours to the wall opposite. Breathing hard, he just... stared at her. Like he was in shock.
oww_pavement (12:19:56 AM): She hadn't expected it to be over. She expected it to keep hurting, and, really, a part of her rather felt like she deserved it. Deserved every bit of the pain.
This was her fault-- she'd messed up, she'd hurt him-- however irrational he'd been, it wasn't that she was entirely innocent, either.
She'd had this coming.
The scene-- being thrown against the wall, blood and tears mixing to trickle down her face-- was almost too familiar.
Her cries ceased, and for a moment, the only thing that she could hear was her heart hammering in her chest, rhythmic, desperate, ribs cracking back into place, bones fixing themselves up again--
Homecoming.
Her body sank to the floor, almost limp, and she wondered whether this was it, whether he was done, whether she got her beating and it was over.
Maybe he could forgive her now. A part of her wasn't sure he ever would.
But it wasn't. It felt never-ending, and once again she was shaken, head cracking against the wall, blood running through her hair, blonde mixing with red, thin lines of the color trickling down her forehead.
As he shook her, her head lolled almost disjointedly around her neck. Like he was playing with a ragdoll, a puppet, strung up merely by the strings of his hands.
Then she fell, tired, almost scared eyes blinking and staring up at him.
"Is it over?" she breathed, voice rough, eliciting a sharp cough that brought up a bit of blood, her wounds still healing.
king_devilbat (12:29:44 AM): He just kept staring from the other side of the room. Saying nothing. Doing nothing. Hell, he was barely even moving except for the heaving of his barrel chest and the occasional unconscious twitch of an ear.
Snap.
His irises shrank, revealing the normal white sclera, human again.
That was when he was truly able to see. Yes, his vision was bad. But he could see the red. And what was worse, he could smell it, metallic and hot. There were cracks in the wall. Had he made those? Bite marks on her shoulder, blood on her face, blood in his mouth.
He sat there for a while, just watching her heal. ".... Claire." What have I done.
Suddenly, a scream of agony, and he covered his face with his wings.
Then something that was definitely sobbing.
oww_pavement (12:47:25 AM): It was over.
Wasn't it? It seemed over.
Claire coughed again, dry, sharp, harsh, blood spattering the floor and her hand-- god, the room as a mess-- and ran her (mostly) clean hand through her hair, only to meed stickiness.
The blood was drying quickly on her skin, in her hair--
At least her wounds were healing.
Too bad the biggest wound couldn't heal, here.
It was just--
This was so much like what had happened to Kira-- he hadn't been himself, it hadn't been him. She hadn't been talking to her friend, she'd been talking to the devil.
Much the same here.
"Hiruma, don't," she pleaded again, this time different, empathic, desperate for him to listen to her.
He wouldn't.
She knew.
But that hardly meant she was about to give up on him.
Her name, then that scream, and she was crawling over to his side-- pausing in between to snap foot back into the right position and not quite so lopsided-- arms coming out to wrap around him, her own tears coming quieter, but just as steady.
"Hiruma, please, don't blame yourself for this, it's not your fault. That wasn't you, please don't blame yourself," she whispered hoarsely through her tears hoping it to be to some avail.
king_devilbat (12:55:10 AM): He didn't listen. You'd think with ears that large, he'd have no choice, but he wasn't hearing her. He was buried in his wings, eyes and teeth clenched so tightly.
He could feel her warmth near him, her tears wetting his fur, but he didn't pay attention. He felt horribly, he had almost killed her. He could have killed her. A little more bashing and he might have broken her skull, snapped her neck. He might have taken out her brainstem with a bite too close.
Mumbling in bat. Then in human. "I'm sorry I'm sorry oh god I'm so sorry I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry."
Another despairing sound, more like a whine. Unfolding from his leathery cocoon, he instead wrapped Claire with them, holding her much like he was when he was ripping her shoulder out earlier, but under completely different circumstances. He buried his face in her chest, crying now silently, ears folded back completely.
"I'msorryclaire whathaveIdone"
oww_pavement (1:38:27 AM): Oh god.
Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. He was blaming himself for this, of course he was, how could he not, she could have seen this coming from miles away--
What was she supposed to do?
She couldn't just tell him to stop, he'd never listen.
He never listened, but none of that mattered right now, and he was holding her, and she was crying, and he was crying, and they were holding onto each other, and she was almost afraid to let him go.
Ever.
He was going to get bloody, she thought to herself. Bloody and messy and why would he want to hold her when she was like this--
The stupid, petty thoughts only made her cry harder.
"You haven't done anything, that wasn't you," she cried, arms around his neck, hot tears running down, into his fur as she held him, face buried against the side of his.
"Please, you have to believe me, or we'll both hate ourselves for what happened."
She out of guilt that she couldn't fix him.
king_devilbat (1:51:49 AM): He didn't care what she did, just as long as she stayed. She should have been running away why wasn't she running away he didn't get it he didn't understand he didn't want to understand.
He didn't care that she was bloody and that the blood would dry in his fur and matt it, he didn't care, it didn't matter.
He couldn't say anything except "I'm sorry". Mumbled it in both tongues, combinations of them, sad, despairing. He clung to her like she was a raft in the ocean.
"I didn't mean it I didn't mean any of it I don't care about K' or what you did I just care about you pleasedon'tgo."
oww_pavement (2:10:09 AM): Something about this felt right, as bizarre it seemed to be to think that. Something about this felt right-- the fact that they were together, that she was here, that she'd stayed for him.
She would never-- could never leave him.
She just didn't know if he knew-- if he even believed her. If he wanted to.
"Don't be sorry, this isn't your fault," she whispered.
A trembling hand ran over his back, running into the soft fur at the back of his neck and seemingly tangling there, moving back and forth as if she was trying to calm him, small touches there to remind him that she was still here.
Not going anywhere.
"I know, I know you don't, I know, it's fine, it's no big deal, I'm okay, it's okay, really, I'm not leaving you, I could never leave you, I won't, I won't I promise Iloveyoutoomuch."
king_devilbat (2:18:02 AM): Well maybe it tool some extra hair and wings to make Hiruma open up, but here he was, bearing his soul and all of his feelings for once.
He'd beat himself up about it later, how could he have let himself slip so badly? But right now, it didn't matter, because Claire was there and he was safe and she was safe and they were safe together.
He sniffled, a little, seeming very weak and defenseless now, a far cry from the beast he was mere minutes ago. From monster to child, as fast as you please.
"It's not okay it's not okay I did a horrible thing please please please."
oww_pavement (2:37:11 AM): She might have wanted him to be more open-- but not this.
Never this.
This was almost too much, and she couldn't even kiss him properly to make him feel better, she could only hug him and hold him and hold on and try to tell him that it was all right, that it would be fine.
That it already was.
That it never wasn't, but no matter what he did, it didn't matter--
"I'd die for you," she told him, pulling back to look him in the eyes she knew only too well. "This is nothing. Please-- it's fine. You didn't do that-- I never once thought it was you, please, you have to believe me, I love you."
king_devilbat (2:45:59 AM): Everything came with a price. Nothing ever came free.
Hiruma wanted to kiss her, desperately, but his face was the wrong shape and he couldn't and it depressed him.
She kept saying she wasn't going to leave but he couldn't be sure, he was never sure, certainty robbed from him. He couldn't calculate like this, nothing added up, nothing worked.
He wanted to be normal again.
The eyes were sad, perhaps a little red. But they were his. "I did do that it's my fault.... but... you're okay I think I hope and.... never leave me I love you too I would die without you." He leaned forward and touched his nose to hers. It was really the only thing he could do and he hoped that it would get his point across.
oww_pavement (3:11:34 AM): All of this was depressing-- the only thing that wasn't was that they had each other, and that felt right.
"You couldn't have controlled it-- I would never hold that against you, you know that," she cried, shaking her head.
Was she okay? Maybe on the outside.
Maybe the signs were there that she wasn't, blood covering seemingly every inch of her body, maybe she seemed fine but wasn't--
Maybe it had shaken her up a little bit. Maybe the fact that she hadn't been had been enough.
Physical damage was hardly the only done in something like this, and almost sadly she blinked at him and nodded vaguely. "Yeah," she said very slowly. "I'm fine."
She didn't even know herself if she was lying or not.
"I would never leave you, no matter what you did, I--"
Die without her.
"If you left me-- if you died-- Hiruma, you're everything to me. You put me back together when I thought I had lost everything. You gave me hope again. I don't know what would have happened to me had you not been there, but you made me stronger, better than I'd ever been before. I'm not perfect, but without you, I'm nothing. How could I ever leave you?"
She couldn't seem to stop crying, and the way he pressed his nose against hers only made it worse. Worse until she gently grasped his muzzle to kiss the front of it.
Small. Minor. Almost nothing in comparison to what was normal-- even for them.
But it was there. And it would mean something to him, coming like this from her. That was all that really mattered.
king_devilbat (3:33:32 AM): But that was enough. Enough to keep them from falling apart, at least.
"But..." He whined a little. What if he could have, and he just wasn't strong enough? He had hurt her because he had lost control. He was never going to forgive himself.
"You're not fine. Don't lie," Even though the words were commanding, their tone was not. It was almost hurt. He knew she was hurting, she had to have been, because he was. She just wanted him to feel better, but he would only feel better if she didn't lie to try and make him feel better.
It was all very confusing.
He simply listened to her, trained on to her words, hanging on them. They meant a lot, because she meant them. He could still read body language (thank god, he thought) and she was serious and she meant it.
Then she kissed him. Kissed him despite what he was and how he looked and how ridiculous he was and had been. He was probably blushing under that blonde fur, because he felt his face get hot.
It meant the world. He grinned a little, softly despite the few fangs hanging over his lip, and brushed her tears away with one long finger.
"You cry too much."
oww_pavement (3:57:32 AM): If she wasn't who she was, she would be dying of loss of blood by now.
Dead by now.
It was only predictable. How could she be fine? He'd lost control, gotten a bit carried away--
"It hurt," she whispered, eyes closing as tears kept running down her cheeks. "I keep getting worse. I'm worried. It hurt, and no-- well, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'm not fine. But at least I know I'm still human. People shouldn't enjoy being mauled. But I have to be fine, for you. Because this isn't your fault. I love you, and you didn't do this, and you feel guilty. But maybe I'm not okay-- god, I don't know."
She was just as much a mess as he was-- they had nothing on the other.
"I don't want you to beat yourself up over this like I know you will. Are. Whatever. You knwo what I mean."
She would never tire of kissing him, no matter what he was or looked like or whatever was going on.
When he grinned, she knew. Knew that this was right, even when he was like this-- deserved this, more than anyone else.
She smiled through her tears and the ones he was brushing away, and nodded. "I know." Him, too, really, but it didn't matter. Instead, she took the moment to kiss him again, a few times for good measure, before grinning back at him.
"I love you, you know. And when you're ready again, we are going to have another one of those long-overdue make-out sessions that are going to leave both of us embarrassed and nervous again. I promise you that."
king_devilbat (4:12:01 AM): A bit carried away? He'd tried to rip out her throat. That was a bit more than "a bit".
He was worried, too, and it showed. His eyebrows were furrowed and his ears laid back. Nothing ever hurt Claire. She just picked up and moved on. But was her blood failing now completely? "It'll get better. It has to. It has to work again." It had to, it just did, because if it didn't?
She'd be dead in a week.
Well, he'd already beaten himself up. And probably would continue to. So he simply shrugged. No reason to make her worry on top of her pain.
Hiruma felt it too, the rightness. How could he have ever thought she would leave him for someone else? It didn't seem possible any more.
He let her kiss him (it felt good) and then nuzzled her on her neck and cheeks, affectionately, chirping pleasantly and quietly.
A chittering laugh. "I'll be ready as soon as this stupid bat bullshit is over. I want to be so nervous that I'm nauseated. That's how I know it's working."
oww_pavement (4:32:29 AM): It wasn't that she normally didn't feel pain. It stung a bit, sure, but it wasn't bad.
And she got over it pretty damn quickly. It seemed she was a bit of a masochistic, too, in her own right, and that didn't hurt in her state, but overall, she just got over it easily, and that was that. She picked up, moved on-- otherwise, how would she get away with hurting herself left and right? Just making a face after sticking her hand in the disposal?
But this? This had hurt.
"I'll be fine, I promise. You know what? It didn't even hurt that much," she lied through her teeth a bit hastily. "It just stung a little. It always stings a little, you know."
God, she was pathetic.
Claire could offer emotional condolences. She could give a shoulder to cry on, a body to hug, maybe even a few flirtatious exchanges.
But not this. Never this.
It was sweet, the tiny little kisses. Sweet, and loving, and perfect, just for the moment. When he nuzzled her, she let their noses touch again, and smiled, running a hand through the hair on the side of his face.
"Few days, is all, I think. And I think that's a great idea. Just don't throw up on me." Another heartwarming grin, and she pulled him just a little bit closer.
"I hate this place sometimes. What it does to you, what it does to anyone-- I hate it. What happens here. The things people are put through, the way people die. But I can't hate it. Not really. How would I have ever met you without it. I would have woken up and gone to bed every day, the sun rising and sinking again, without any knowledge that you were under it somewhere lying in a bed at night without me. And that's just not right." Another soft pet, and then she gestured at the bed. "It's ours now, you know."
king_devilbat (4:42:32 AM): Hiruma frowned, looking at her sadly, "You know, we'll never figure out what's wrong if you keep lying." He didn't press it any further, though. Maybe another day.
It really was sweet. Very sweet, something he probably wouldn't have liked were he human. But for now, he liked it. He liked being cuddled and touched and kissed and he liked reciprocating it. It made him feel good, and it made him feel like less of a beast and more of a person, in a very backwards sort of way. He couldn't help it, he gave Claire a small lick on her cheek. Affectionate, as close to a kiss as he could give her.
He smiled and let her, adjusting his grip a bit and chirping happily, "I won't barf on you, blondie. Promise."
Hiruma listened, then nodded, "If it weren't for this place, I would have never met you. So it can't be all bad." he shrugged and gestured with a wing, vaguely. "It's a tradeoff, isn't it?" Hiruma looked at the bed. Sleep with her? In her bed? Like this? He blinked, then looked at Claire with a small smile. "O-okay."
oww_pavement (4:52:59 AM): "I don't expect you to figure out what's wrong. I expect you just to know when I'm lying. You can read me like a book, you know," she told him, almost fondly.
She almost giggled when he swiped a small lick, big smile on her face, eyes closing as she leaned into him a little bit.
It made sense, the way he was acting-- purely contextually. She wished he could be just the tiniest bit more like this when he was normal, but then realized it didn't matter either way.
This was almost like a temporary blessing, in part, for both of them. Pros and cons both.
But she had fallen in love with the other Hiruma, not the sensitive, terrifying bat version, and a large part of her was glad. She'd stay with him for better and for worse.
"I'm really glad about that, then I'd have even more of a mess to clean up." The least they could do was joke about the mess the room was, however dire that situation had been. Oh well. "Trade-off, yeah. Still wouldn't give you up in exchange for going home." She'd rather send him home instead, should he want to go.
It wasn't really her bed, this was the master bedroom after all, and if they weren't the masters of this some of the island, let alone this house, there was a problem.
"Tired?" she asked him, as if she wasn't as surprised as this had her.
Very surprised.
She might actually miss this side of him when it was all over, she mused, her hand continuing to run through his hair, never ceasing once.
king_devilbat (5:01:18 AM): "I know. You make it too easy."
Well, she didn't, really.
But he could tell.
He could always tell.
And maybe he could. Maybe he could be a little bit more affectionate when he was human. She deserved it, after all.
Pros and cons. Always, and always testing the weights of both.
"Yeah, I make messes.... I'm sorry." he grinned sheepishly. He really did hate making such a big mess and breaking things that he himself would have to replace. Most irritating. He grinned a little brighter and tilted his head, "I wouldn't go home if I couldn't bring you with me."
He nodded, chirping his affirmation. He crawled into bed and waited for her, then wrapped her loosely in his wings and closed his eyes.
It wasn't so bad after all.
WHAT: The epitome of hurt/comfort. In short, Hiruma flips out, goes irrationally feral, and rips Claire a new one. Literally. This, of course, is followed by apologies and comforting and sheer terror over what happened. Good times.
WHERE: Their house. Number 7.
WHEN: Day 121, evening
king_devilbat (8:08:30 PM): Bored. Bored. Boredboredboredboredbored.
He didn't feel like sleeping, he wasn't hungry and the journals were boring as hell. It would be night soon, and he wanted to go outside and fly, stretch his wings. He groaned and laid back on the bed. He was still faintly annoyed by a lot of things. Being cooped up, not having anything decent to eat, not being able to fly and, of course, the mostly settled case of K'.
Mostly settled.
It still burned him up inside. That Claire had done it and that, now, they had an emotionally unstable living weapon to watch out for.
Well, HE did. She'd put HIM in danger. He frowled a little, deep in his throat. He stretched his wings out, the tips hanging over the edge of the bed.
oww_pavement (8:35:18 PM): Go outside and fly. Not on her dead body.
The full moon was almost over-- finally-- but that hardly meant that Selene wasn't going to be stalking the streets for any innocent werethings to kill pointlessly.
Goddammit, she hated that bitch.
Grabbing the plate with the slab of raw pork-- she'd mostly cleaned the blood off-- she went back upstairs, shutting the bedroom door behind her.
"Here. I'm bound to be tired so I don't know how great I am going to be at serving you food. My bodily clock isn't on graveyard shift like yours is, yet," she said, dropping the plate onto the bed.
"How are you feeling, anyway?"
king_devilbat (8:43:51 PM): But he wanted to, sooo bad.
Hiruma worried abut Selene, yes, but he had outmaneuvered her once before, he was sure he could do it again.
Hiruma took the plate from her with his feet. He found it was just too much trouble to eat with his hands, which weren't really built for that sort of thing, so his feet worked fine.
Besides, it's not like they were dirty, since he hadn't been outside the room.
"yeah, yeah, humans are diurnal, I know." He finished the pork in a couple of bites and then laid back down, stretching his wings back out.
"Bored! Boooored! Restless!" He chirped miserably, "I want to go outsiiiiide." He flapped his wings a little, the leathery things making a sort of slapping sound against the bed.
oww_pavement (8:54:37 PM): "That's disgusting." And here she was, feeding him, and feeding this bizarre drive along with it.
Sometimes she wondered how much of him was really in there, in control, and how much of him was a bat. Or, let alone, how much was an irate, annoying, whiny 6-year-old.
"You're not going anywhere. Not like this. Not until you're back to normal. Not if I can help it, anyway. And I'm not going anywhere, either. And if you make me fix that window one more time..."
Dropping onto the bed by his side, she idly let her hand trail over his arm.
"I can keep you occupied if you want," she offered, shrugging.
king_devilbat (9:16:52 PM): "Blah blah blah," He said with a mouthful of raw pork.
Hiruma himself wondered that. But mostly he wondered if there was any distinction, which, really, there wasn't. Well, not between the bat part and the human part. They were integrated.
He looked at the window and chittered mockingly, "Yeah, I don't think boarding up the window counts as 'fixing it', blondie." He growled and shrugged.
"I want to go somewhere, why won't you let me?"
He let her, it felt pretty good after all.
"Yeah, doing what? I don't wanna talk." Chiirrup.
oww_pavement (9:53:01 PM): Well wasn't he just being a pleasure to be around. Acting like a real grownup, he was.
"You could be a bit nicer," she grumbled.
"And I'll get someone to fix the window. This'll do for now." It was just a little darker in the room now, but at least it would be a bit harder for him to break out of that.
"You're not going anywhere, I don't want you to die. Selene is out there looking out like a hawk, and the last thing I can take is bringing you home in a dustpan."
Her hand didn't stop, though, and she sighed.
"You were the one who complained that I wasn't spending enough time talking with you, and too much talking with other people. And it's not like you don't want to do anything else with me, or that you really... could right now, so what do you want to do? Besides whine and bitch and moan?"
king_devilbat (10:05:19 PM): Yeah, well, you try waking up naked and furry and see how you want to act. He could guarantee, he didn't want to act like a gentleman.
"Well, if I really wanted to get out, you couldn't stop me." So there.
Hiruma rolled his eyes and twittered, "Selene couldn't catch me if her nonlife depended on it. She's not used to attacking flying things!"
"I want to go outsiiiiidddeeeeeee," He whined, "And I want to talk to you, yeah, but not while it's a hard to do so." He screeched a little to prove his point. "You'd rather be talking to someone else right now anyway, I'm sure." That last part sounded very bitter and he gave her a look.
oww_pavement (10:12:01 PM): So there. So there. Claire gritted her teeth and made a face, biting down on the inside of her cheeks. "Yes, and then you'd get yourself killed. A good lot that would do. Because you really want all of Rivelata to know what you are."
What.
Claire buried her face in her hands and shook her head.
"She could catch you. Even if she couldn't, I wouldn't want to take the chance."
By god, if he wasn't the whiniest thing she'd ever laid her eyes on.
"I could talk to you and you could listen, but--"
Oh. Oh wait.
"Excuse you," she said, glaring at him. "You know that's not true. How could you even insinuate such a thing-- you know you were wrong in the beginning, too! You overreacted, snapped, and that's fine, I get it, but you don't get to play the bitter bear about it anymore!"
king_devilbat (10:20:39 PM): Hiruma scoffed, "Who cares if they know? They all know already." Well, not really. But in his current state, he pretty much figured, who gives a shit? No one else really seemed to care about the other werebeasts.
"I'd be FINE. Geez." Selene didn't worry him. Well, she didn't worry him until she was RIGHT there.
He growled, "And why not? He's still thinking he's better than I am, and that's all your fault!" He growled again, furiously, sitting up and glaring at her.
oww_pavement (10:26:58 PM): "No, they don't. And you'd do well to practice some discretion." Another irate huff.
This was bad.
"Think about how it would make me feel to find you in pieces somewhere. Just think about it. I can't lose you. You could ship me off to the next mental hospital-- I love you, okay? You're important to me."
He still thought-- wait, since when did that matter? Since when did anyone else matter?
"It's MY fault?! My fault that he thinks something?! Let him think it! I love you, I don't think it! I'm with you, not him! You're being ridiculous!"
king_devilbat (10:48:30 PM): Another low growl, "Fine, I won't go out." She was right, after all. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do to argue.
Well, it didn't really matter. But in his irritated and demented mind state, it mattered for some reason.
"Yes, YOUR fault! YOU led him on! And how do I know, huh? What if you'd rather be with him?" The thought irritated him. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. He whirled on her and growled furiously, bearing his teeth. "I can't know ANYTHING!" A hiss.
oww_pavement (11:13:08 PM): At least she'd won that one.
But that wasn't the point at all, was it?
"I didn't mean to! I told him I'd be there for him, not-- he's like a five-year-old, what sort of a relationship could he want?! As far as I knew, I wasn't leading him on!"
He was going too far with this.
"I'm here with you! I broke his heart for you because I love you and I want to be with you! I'm here. I've stayed by yourself, I've done everything I could think of for you! I don't know what else to tell you, what else you want me to do! I love you! If you can't trust me, if we can't trust each other, we don't have anything!"
king_devilbat (11:20:15 PM): Too late.
It didn't matter what she said at this point. He was too angry, too far gone, and it was starting to show in his eyes as the irises increased in size.
"THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING! WHY WOULD I TRUST SOMEONE AS STUPID AS YOU?!" He growled furiously, covering his head and face in his wings, shaking a little with rage. When he removed the wings and opened his eyes, they were feral, glazed, furious. She was a liar, a cheat, he knew it, he just knew it, she would do it again she would break his heart again and he wasn't going to take it he was going to break her.
So he turned on the human, the girl who didn't care about him. He struck her with his wing, then let forth a screech and a roar, mixed together.
oww_pavement (11:28:45 PM): She'd tried.
That's what they'd tell them, she thought vaguely. She'd tried.
Not hard enough.
Not good enough.
"Hiruma, you're not thinking straight," she told him, eyes wide and wary, as if expecting something bad any moment, backing off the bed steadily, slowly--
Like dealing with an angry animal.
This wasn't right. Something-- something was horribly wrong.
He was looking at her differently, too.
"Hiruma, please," she went on, inching back, shaking slightly. "Please, this isn't you." The person most important to her, and now she was going to lose him to this--
He struck.
Claire flew to the floor, hand going to her face to find herself bleeding for a moment just before the wound healed.
Slower than before.
Scared eyes looked up at him, and she slowly shook her head as she rose to her feet again.
king_devilbat (11:34:36 PM): Of course he wasn't thinking straight.
He didn't need to think.
He simply needed to do something. He needed to take out his anger, his pain, on something. What better than the cause of it all herself?
A voice inside pleaded, begged not to hurt her, that this wasn't right and it wasn't going to help anything, goddammit, but the voice was drowned out in a sea of red and sound.
She stood up again. She quit bleeding.
Why did that happen, she wasn't supposed to stand back up.
The fur on his neck stood out straight, and he bared all of his teeth, growling as he pounced this time, with enough force to knock her over again, jumping with his feet out straight, digging those claws into her stomach, wrapping his wings around her and then biting into her shoulder, ripping, tearing, shaking.
He would teach her. He would make her see.
oww_pavement (11:47:24 PM): "Please," she whispered, voice trembling.
He wasn't himself, he wasn't listening, he wasn't there to hear her pleas. She was talking to an animal. A feral monster.
Was this what Selene had talked about?
Did it even matter? She'd said she'd take care of him-- take care of this. This mess was her responsibility.
What she hadn't expected was for him to jump on her, attack her-- not like this.
She fell onto her back, him on top of her, so much stronger like this-- she might have had training, but that didn't mean she could defeat someone that much bigger and stronger.
Not that she wanted to. This wasn't him-- she didn't want to hurt him, under any circumstances.
She could still heal, for the time being. He couldn't. She'd take the heat. It would be fine. Surely.
It wasn't.
She was heaved up into his grip, arms struggling and flailing as much as they could, trying to wrench herself out of his grasp.
Futile.
Then-- pain. White hot scalding pain, unlike even jumping from the 80ft platform of a gravel plant, or several stories onto the pavement, or cutting her own arm open countless times, sticking her hand into the disposal--
This hurt. And the only thing she could think of was how this had to be her fault, her blood doing this, going wrong and acting up. Something was wrong.
And it hurt like hell.
The scream was horrible and loud as she shrieked out, almost painful to listen to, and she struggled in his wake, but to no avail, tears running down her face as she tried to remind herself that this wasn't him.
king_devilbat (11:56:47 PM): He growled and shook, finally letting the girl go, blood dropping from his fangs and staining his fur.
The scream hurt his ears. He didn't like it. He didn't like the screaming. He screeched in her face, that horrible half-human, half-bat amalgam, breath fouled with her own blood.
He dug his claws in one more time, then got off of her... but he didn't relent. He grabbed the girl by the front of her shirt with both hands, somehow able to pick her up using only four fingers. He screeched again, and threw her, hard, into the wall. Hard enough to crack it.
Walking over, he was breathing heavily, lips pulled back in a snarl.
But the fury was waning, energy running out. And Hiruma coming back, the animal leaving. Slowly.
But not quite yet. He crouched down beside her and grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, beating her against the wall a couple of times, making the cracks larger, until her head had made a bloody indent in the plaster.
But he abated, suddenly. He held her by the shoulders for a brief moment, looking at her in her eyes.
And they changed. Not physically, they didn't go back to their human form, but in expression. The glazed look went away.
The monster screeched, this time like he was in pain, and backed up on all fours to the wall opposite. Breathing hard, he just... stared at her. Like he was in shock.
oww_pavement (12:19:56 AM): She hadn't expected it to be over. She expected it to keep hurting, and, really, a part of her rather felt like she deserved it. Deserved every bit of the pain.
This was her fault-- she'd messed up, she'd hurt him-- however irrational he'd been, it wasn't that she was entirely innocent, either.
She'd had this coming.
The scene-- being thrown against the wall, blood and tears mixing to trickle down her face-- was almost too familiar.
Her cries ceased, and for a moment, the only thing that she could hear was her heart hammering in her chest, rhythmic, desperate, ribs cracking back into place, bones fixing themselves up again--
Homecoming.
Her body sank to the floor, almost limp, and she wondered whether this was it, whether he was done, whether she got her beating and it was over.
Maybe he could forgive her now. A part of her wasn't sure he ever would.
But it wasn't. It felt never-ending, and once again she was shaken, head cracking against the wall, blood running through her hair, blonde mixing with red, thin lines of the color trickling down her forehead.
As he shook her, her head lolled almost disjointedly around her neck. Like he was playing with a ragdoll, a puppet, strung up merely by the strings of his hands.
Then she fell, tired, almost scared eyes blinking and staring up at him.
"Is it over?" she breathed, voice rough, eliciting a sharp cough that brought up a bit of blood, her wounds still healing.
king_devilbat (12:29:44 AM): He just kept staring from the other side of the room. Saying nothing. Doing nothing. Hell, he was barely even moving except for the heaving of his barrel chest and the occasional unconscious twitch of an ear.
Snap.
His irises shrank, revealing the normal white sclera, human again.
That was when he was truly able to see. Yes, his vision was bad. But he could see the red. And what was worse, he could smell it, metallic and hot. There were cracks in the wall. Had he made those? Bite marks on her shoulder, blood on her face, blood in his mouth.
He sat there for a while, just watching her heal. ".... Claire." What have I done.
Suddenly, a scream of agony, and he covered his face with his wings.
Then something that was definitely sobbing.
oww_pavement (12:47:25 AM): It was over.
Wasn't it? It seemed over.
Claire coughed again, dry, sharp, harsh, blood spattering the floor and her hand-- god, the room as a mess-- and ran her (mostly) clean hand through her hair, only to meed stickiness.
The blood was drying quickly on her skin, in her hair--
At least her wounds were healing.
Too bad the biggest wound couldn't heal, here.
It was just--
This was so much like what had happened to Kira-- he hadn't been himself, it hadn't been him. She hadn't been talking to her friend, she'd been talking to the devil.
Much the same here.
"Hiruma, don't," she pleaded again, this time different, empathic, desperate for him to listen to her.
He wouldn't.
She knew.
But that hardly meant she was about to give up on him.
Her name, then that scream, and she was crawling over to his side-- pausing in between to snap foot back into the right position and not quite so lopsided-- arms coming out to wrap around him, her own tears coming quieter, but just as steady.
"Hiruma, please, don't blame yourself for this, it's not your fault. That wasn't you, please don't blame yourself," she whispered hoarsely through her tears hoping it to be to some avail.
king_devilbat (12:55:10 AM): He didn't listen. You'd think with ears that large, he'd have no choice, but he wasn't hearing her. He was buried in his wings, eyes and teeth clenched so tightly.
He could feel her warmth near him, her tears wetting his fur, but he didn't pay attention. He felt horribly, he had almost killed her. He could have killed her. A little more bashing and he might have broken her skull, snapped her neck. He might have taken out her brainstem with a bite too close.
Mumbling in bat. Then in human. "I'm sorry I'm sorry oh god I'm so sorry I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry."
Another despairing sound, more like a whine. Unfolding from his leathery cocoon, he instead wrapped Claire with them, holding her much like he was when he was ripping her shoulder out earlier, but under completely different circumstances. He buried his face in her chest, crying now silently, ears folded back completely.
"I'msorryclaire whathaveIdone"
oww_pavement (1:38:27 AM): Oh god.
Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. He was blaming himself for this, of course he was, how could he not, she could have seen this coming from miles away--
What was she supposed to do?
She couldn't just tell him to stop, he'd never listen.
He never listened, but none of that mattered right now, and he was holding her, and she was crying, and he was crying, and they were holding onto each other, and she was almost afraid to let him go.
Ever.
He was going to get bloody, she thought to herself. Bloody and messy and why would he want to hold her when she was like this--
The stupid, petty thoughts only made her cry harder.
"You haven't done anything, that wasn't you," she cried, arms around his neck, hot tears running down, into his fur as she held him, face buried against the side of his.
"Please, you have to believe me, or we'll both hate ourselves for what happened."
She out of guilt that she couldn't fix him.
king_devilbat (1:51:49 AM): He didn't care what she did, just as long as she stayed. She should have been running away why wasn't she running away he didn't get it he didn't understand he didn't want to understand.
He didn't care that she was bloody and that the blood would dry in his fur and matt it, he didn't care, it didn't matter.
He couldn't say anything except "I'm sorry". Mumbled it in both tongues, combinations of them, sad, despairing. He clung to her like she was a raft in the ocean.
"I didn't mean it I didn't mean any of it I don't care about K' or what you did I just care about you pleasedon'tgo."
oww_pavement (2:10:09 AM): Something about this felt right, as bizarre it seemed to be to think that. Something about this felt right-- the fact that they were together, that she was here, that she'd stayed for him.
She would never-- could never leave him.
She just didn't know if he knew-- if he even believed her. If he wanted to.
"Don't be sorry, this isn't your fault," she whispered.
A trembling hand ran over his back, running into the soft fur at the back of his neck and seemingly tangling there, moving back and forth as if she was trying to calm him, small touches there to remind him that she was still here.
Not going anywhere.
"I know, I know you don't, I know, it's fine, it's no big deal, I'm okay, it's okay, really, I'm not leaving you, I could never leave you, I won't, I won't I promise Iloveyoutoomuch."
king_devilbat (2:18:02 AM): Well maybe it tool some extra hair and wings to make Hiruma open up, but here he was, bearing his soul and all of his feelings for once.
He'd beat himself up about it later, how could he have let himself slip so badly? But right now, it didn't matter, because Claire was there and he was safe and she was safe and they were safe together.
He sniffled, a little, seeming very weak and defenseless now, a far cry from the beast he was mere minutes ago. From monster to child, as fast as you please.
"It's not okay it's not okay I did a horrible thing please please please."
oww_pavement (2:37:11 AM): She might have wanted him to be more open-- but not this.
Never this.
This was almost too much, and she couldn't even kiss him properly to make him feel better, she could only hug him and hold him and hold on and try to tell him that it was all right, that it would be fine.
That it already was.
That it never wasn't, but no matter what he did, it didn't matter--
"I'd die for you," she told him, pulling back to look him in the eyes she knew only too well. "This is nothing. Please-- it's fine. You didn't do that-- I never once thought it was you, please, you have to believe me, I love you."
king_devilbat (2:45:59 AM): Everything came with a price. Nothing ever came free.
Hiruma wanted to kiss her, desperately, but his face was the wrong shape and he couldn't and it depressed him.
She kept saying she wasn't going to leave but he couldn't be sure, he was never sure, certainty robbed from him. He couldn't calculate like this, nothing added up, nothing worked.
He wanted to be normal again.
The eyes were sad, perhaps a little red. But they were his. "I did do that it's my fault.... but... you're okay I think I hope and.... never leave me I love you too I would die without you." He leaned forward and touched his nose to hers. It was really the only thing he could do and he hoped that it would get his point across.
oww_pavement (3:11:34 AM): All of this was depressing-- the only thing that wasn't was that they had each other, and that felt right.
"You couldn't have controlled it-- I would never hold that against you, you know that," she cried, shaking her head.
Was she okay? Maybe on the outside.
Maybe the signs were there that she wasn't, blood covering seemingly every inch of her body, maybe she seemed fine but wasn't--
Maybe it had shaken her up a little bit. Maybe the fact that she hadn't been had been enough.
Physical damage was hardly the only done in something like this, and almost sadly she blinked at him and nodded vaguely. "Yeah," she said very slowly. "I'm fine."
She didn't even know herself if she was lying or not.
"I would never leave you, no matter what you did, I--"
Die without her.
"If you left me-- if you died-- Hiruma, you're everything to me. You put me back together when I thought I had lost everything. You gave me hope again. I don't know what would have happened to me had you not been there, but you made me stronger, better than I'd ever been before. I'm not perfect, but without you, I'm nothing. How could I ever leave you?"
She couldn't seem to stop crying, and the way he pressed his nose against hers only made it worse. Worse until she gently grasped his muzzle to kiss the front of it.
Small. Minor. Almost nothing in comparison to what was normal-- even for them.
But it was there. And it would mean something to him, coming like this from her. That was all that really mattered.
king_devilbat (3:33:32 AM): But that was enough. Enough to keep them from falling apart, at least.
"But..." He whined a little. What if he could have, and he just wasn't strong enough? He had hurt her because he had lost control. He was never going to forgive himself.
"You're not fine. Don't lie," Even though the words were commanding, their tone was not. It was almost hurt. He knew she was hurting, she had to have been, because he was. She just wanted him to feel better, but he would only feel better if she didn't lie to try and make him feel better.
It was all very confusing.
He simply listened to her, trained on to her words, hanging on them. They meant a lot, because she meant them. He could still read body language (thank god, he thought) and she was serious and she meant it.
Then she kissed him. Kissed him despite what he was and how he looked and how ridiculous he was and had been. He was probably blushing under that blonde fur, because he felt his face get hot.
It meant the world. He grinned a little, softly despite the few fangs hanging over his lip, and brushed her tears away with one long finger.
"You cry too much."
oww_pavement (3:57:32 AM): If she wasn't who she was, she would be dying of loss of blood by now.
Dead by now.
It was only predictable. How could she be fine? He'd lost control, gotten a bit carried away--
"It hurt," she whispered, eyes closing as tears kept running down her cheeks. "I keep getting worse. I'm worried. It hurt, and no-- well, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'm not fine. But at least I know I'm still human. People shouldn't enjoy being mauled. But I have to be fine, for you. Because this isn't your fault. I love you, and you didn't do this, and you feel guilty. But maybe I'm not okay-- god, I don't know."
She was just as much a mess as he was-- they had nothing on the other.
"I don't want you to beat yourself up over this like I know you will. Are. Whatever. You knwo what I mean."
She would never tire of kissing him, no matter what he was or looked like or whatever was going on.
When he grinned, she knew. Knew that this was right, even when he was like this-- deserved this, more than anyone else.
She smiled through her tears and the ones he was brushing away, and nodded. "I know." Him, too, really, but it didn't matter. Instead, she took the moment to kiss him again, a few times for good measure, before grinning back at him.
"I love you, you know. And when you're ready again, we are going to have another one of those long-overdue make-out sessions that are going to leave both of us embarrassed and nervous again. I promise you that."
king_devilbat (4:12:01 AM): A bit carried away? He'd tried to rip out her throat. That was a bit more than "a bit".
He was worried, too, and it showed. His eyebrows were furrowed and his ears laid back. Nothing ever hurt Claire. She just picked up and moved on. But was her blood failing now completely? "It'll get better. It has to. It has to work again." It had to, it just did, because if it didn't?
She'd be dead in a week.
Well, he'd already beaten himself up. And probably would continue to. So he simply shrugged. No reason to make her worry on top of her pain.
Hiruma felt it too, the rightness. How could he have ever thought she would leave him for someone else? It didn't seem possible any more.
He let her kiss him (it felt good) and then nuzzled her on her neck and cheeks, affectionately, chirping pleasantly and quietly.
A chittering laugh. "I'll be ready as soon as this stupid bat bullshit is over. I want to be so nervous that I'm nauseated. That's how I know it's working."
oww_pavement (4:32:29 AM): It wasn't that she normally didn't feel pain. It stung a bit, sure, but it wasn't bad.
And she got over it pretty damn quickly. It seemed she was a bit of a masochistic, too, in her own right, and that didn't hurt in her state, but overall, she just got over it easily, and that was that. She picked up, moved on-- otherwise, how would she get away with hurting herself left and right? Just making a face after sticking her hand in the disposal?
But this? This had hurt.
"I'll be fine, I promise. You know what? It didn't even hurt that much," she lied through her teeth a bit hastily. "It just stung a little. It always stings a little, you know."
God, she was pathetic.
Claire could offer emotional condolences. She could give a shoulder to cry on, a body to hug, maybe even a few flirtatious exchanges.
But not this. Never this.
It was sweet, the tiny little kisses. Sweet, and loving, and perfect, just for the moment. When he nuzzled her, she let their noses touch again, and smiled, running a hand through the hair on the side of his face.
"Few days, is all, I think. And I think that's a great idea. Just don't throw up on me." Another heartwarming grin, and she pulled him just a little bit closer.
"I hate this place sometimes. What it does to you, what it does to anyone-- I hate it. What happens here. The things people are put through, the way people die. But I can't hate it. Not really. How would I have ever met you without it. I would have woken up and gone to bed every day, the sun rising and sinking again, without any knowledge that you were under it somewhere lying in a bed at night without me. And that's just not right." Another soft pet, and then she gestured at the bed. "It's ours now, you know."
king_devilbat (4:42:32 AM): Hiruma frowned, looking at her sadly, "You know, we'll never figure out what's wrong if you keep lying." He didn't press it any further, though. Maybe another day.
It really was sweet. Very sweet, something he probably wouldn't have liked were he human. But for now, he liked it. He liked being cuddled and touched and kissed and he liked reciprocating it. It made him feel good, and it made him feel like less of a beast and more of a person, in a very backwards sort of way. He couldn't help it, he gave Claire a small lick on her cheek. Affectionate, as close to a kiss as he could give her.
He smiled and let her, adjusting his grip a bit and chirping happily, "I won't barf on you, blondie. Promise."
Hiruma listened, then nodded, "If it weren't for this place, I would have never met you. So it can't be all bad." he shrugged and gestured with a wing, vaguely. "It's a tradeoff, isn't it?" Hiruma looked at the bed. Sleep with her? In her bed? Like this? He blinked, then looked at Claire with a small smile. "O-okay."
oww_pavement (4:52:59 AM): "I don't expect you to figure out what's wrong. I expect you just to know when I'm lying. You can read me like a book, you know," she told him, almost fondly.
She almost giggled when he swiped a small lick, big smile on her face, eyes closing as she leaned into him a little bit.
It made sense, the way he was acting-- purely contextually. She wished he could be just the tiniest bit more like this when he was normal, but then realized it didn't matter either way.
This was almost like a temporary blessing, in part, for both of them. Pros and cons both.
But she had fallen in love with the other Hiruma, not the sensitive, terrifying bat version, and a large part of her was glad. She'd stay with him for better and for worse.
"I'm really glad about that, then I'd have even more of a mess to clean up." The least they could do was joke about the mess the room was, however dire that situation had been. Oh well. "Trade-off, yeah. Still wouldn't give you up in exchange for going home." She'd rather send him home instead, should he want to go.
It wasn't really her bed, this was the master bedroom after all, and if they weren't the masters of this some of the island, let alone this house, there was a problem.
"Tired?" she asked him, as if she wasn't as surprised as this had her.
Very surprised.
She might actually miss this side of him when it was all over, she mused, her hand continuing to run through his hair, never ceasing once.
king_devilbat (5:01:18 AM): "I know. You make it too easy."
Well, she didn't, really.
But he could tell.
He could always tell.
And maybe he could. Maybe he could be a little bit more affectionate when he was human. She deserved it, after all.
Pros and cons. Always, and always testing the weights of both.
"Yeah, I make messes.... I'm sorry." he grinned sheepishly. He really did hate making such a big mess and breaking things that he himself would have to replace. Most irritating. He grinned a little brighter and tilted his head, "I wouldn't go home if I couldn't bring you with me."
He nodded, chirping his affirmation. He crawled into bed and waited for her, then wrapped her loosely in his wings and closed his eyes.
It wasn't so bad after all.