1 Spade

[beepbeep_meow]

ALRIGHT, I GUESS THE BEST WAY TO GO ABOUT DEALING WITH THIS MOBIUS DOUBLE CLUSTERFUCK OF A SITUATION IS FOR ME TO LIST THE FACTS. OH BOY. AS IF THIS SHIT DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL BAD ENOUGH, I ACTUALLY HAVE TO WRITE THIS BY HAND. WHO'S FUCKING BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO SEND ME SOMEWHERE WITHOUT A COMPUTER? HOW THE HELL AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO COMMUNICATE

Comments

Sorry! I'm a little slow right now D:

[beepbeep_meow]

WELL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT FUCKING COLOR YOUR BLOOD IS. YOU SEEMED LIKE A HOITY-TOITY BLUE-BLOOD MOTHERFUCKER, SO I MADE AN EDUCATED GUESS. AND YEAH, THAT FADING AWAY THING IS PRETTY WEIRD. JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU, SO I GUESS I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED THERE.

YEAH, FROM YOUR "ART" THERE I'D SAY WE WERE FROM DIFFERENT HOMES, ALRIGHT. I HAVE SEEN SOME OF THE MOST HORRIBLE THINGS YOU CAN IMAGINE. HELL, I'VE SEEN A GUY'S LEGS GET SAWED OFF WITH A CHAINSAW, AND YOU HAVE TO BE THE MOST HORRIBLE YET. I'M PRETTY SURE YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS TO WEIRD ME OUT. YOU DO LOOK A LITTLE STRANGE. AND BY STRANGE, I MEAN YOU ARE A HORROR THAT WOULD GIVE THE REST OF ALTERNIA A RUN FOR IT'S BOONBUCK.

OH JEGUS, I HAVE TO EXPLAIN MY LIFE TO YOU TOO? ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO REPEAT ANY OF THIS SHIT AGAIN:
GOGDAMN IS FUCK YOU.
LAY OFF IS FUCK YOU.
YOU GET STUCK IN A VOID BY SOME FUCKING HUMAN GRUBWORM DESTROYING YOUR REWARD AFTER THE MOST FUCKING AMAZING GAME SESSION YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE. ALSO FUCK YOU.
THE UNIVERSE DID COME BACK, YOU NOOKSNIFFER. OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T BE ALIVE. YOU KNOW WHO BROUGHT IT BACK? ME. I MADE YOUR FUCKING UNIVERSE, SO STOP TRYING TO WEIRD ME OUT AND SHOW SOME FUCKING RESPECT.

AND STOP TALKING ABOUT THE LITTLE GIRL. IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A BIGGER FREAK.