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[rappigemperorix]

The Colonel doesn't appreciate my floral displays of affection anymore. He never told me they made him sneeze. How was I supposed to know? He always loved flowers when we were younger! ...well, he liked killing them, anyway.

So what do you think, ladies and gentlemen? What is the surest way to the heart of a stoic Fonic Artes master?

Comments

1/2

[wanderingmonkey]

...

2/2

[wanderingmonkey]

Trying to win a guy over, huh? Sorry, can't help you there...

What're Fonic Artes? Like magic?

[rappigemperorix]

Hahah! Yes, I suppose you could say he's the love of my life. ♥

And yes, from what I've come to understand, it's pretty much magic.

[wanderingmonkey]

Oh, well, good for you, man. What sorta guy's he?

I second the poetry thing. Magic types always go for the poetry.

[rappigemperorix]

HAH! I think the Colonel would laugh in my face if I tried to read him poetry.

What sort of guy is he? He's mean, really surly, and snarky at times. He doesn't like my pets at all, which is a shame, because they really are magnificent creatures!

[necroshmancer]

I enjoy your pets in my plate not in my bed.

[rappigemperorix]

Don't be vile.

[necroshmancer]

I'm not being vile, I am being honest.

[wanderingmonkey]

Mean and surly? Huh... maybe he's the romantic walk on the beach type? Probably something deep and heartfelt, like... oh, how about a play? Dedicated plays are all the rage where I come from.

...What kinds of pets?

[rappigemperorix]

Rappigs! They're the most incredible creatures ever created!

[necroshmancer]

They are dirty and smelly... but they do make good bacon.

[rappigemperorix]

If I ever find out you've made breakfast out of my pets, I will have you beheaded.

[wanderingmonkey]

Rap-pigs...

Heh, well they sound uh... tasty.

[necroshmancer]

SEE, YOUR HIGHNESS? HE AGREES WITH ME.

[wanderingmonkey]

Yeah, but that's like eating someone's pet chocobo for dinner. You just don't do it.

you just gave him a heart attack

[necroshmancer]

My, my, Peony, you really should stop lying to the poor child.
I know you're mad at me for sneezing at your flowers, but, really, poetry is just TOO CRUEL of a revenge.

Aren't you supposed to be a magnanimous Emperor?