My boyfriend has a girlfriend, and I didn't even know it...
I have this neighbor that I have had a crush on for about a year. I always see him coming in and out of his house but I had never gathered the courage to talk to him. Last Thursday I was having a few beers in the front yard and got courageous. My neighbor pulled up around midnight and I yelled out at him to come by and have a beer, low and behold he takes me up on the offer. We end up hanging out and ended up in his living room till around 8 am, we had stayed up all night talking. Turns out he has a girlfriend and they have been together for a while, he was hesitant to tell me this and quickly changed the subject after revealing this fact. He didn't mention her again, and we continue to talk about each other.
The following day he comes over and hangs out again with me and we end up talking until like 4 am. The whole time we are talking about each other, and our lives, our personalities and all the things we have in common. I am not one to get all excited about a simple compliment or affection shoved my way, and I would like to think that I am a pretty good judge when it comes to people being interested or not. Thus I have to say that I feel some sort of connection between us. Before anyone begins there judging, let me clarify that we are simply friends at this point and we have not done or said anything that would upset his significant other. We have not touched, fondled, kissed or even hugged; the most action that has taken place between us is a handshake.
Now as I write this let me mention that on Thursday the day we first officially met, he called in to work and took the day off because we had stayed up all night talking. He insisted that we continue the conversation and that he would rather miss work than end our night. Secondly, on Friday night when he came over again, we were initially talking outside in the front lawn, when he got a phone call from what I am assuming was his girlfriend. He answered the phone and told her he was busy talking to his neighbor (me) and that he would just call her tomorrow and hung up. She called him back and he excused himself and said he would see me around and left. I ended up shooting some pool in the back yard and within 20 minutes my phone rings, it was him. He asked if I was busy and if he could come over. I told him sure that I was in the back yard shooting pool. He joined me and we ended up playing pool and chatting. A few hours went by and we ended up in my room and talking. Again, let me clarify, he sat on a chair about ten feet away from me while I sat on my bed. We talked till about 4 am and than called it a night.
The following day, Saturday, we saw each other outside again while he was washing his car. I said hello, and we had a casual conversation about the previous night. I invited him to the bar-b-que we were having that afternoon and told him to feel free to drop by if he didn't have any plans. He didn't show up.
Now it’s Monday, and he calls me because he forgot his iPod in y room on Friday night. I offer to bring it over and he insists on coming over to pick it up. I had an extra iPod case and had put it on his iPod as a gift. I gave him the iPod with the case and he was speechless. He was so grateful and appreciative, he thanked me gracefully and I told him it was no big deal, I had an extra case and knew he needed one. We made small talk about our day and said our good byes.
His mother invited my family to his little sister's baptism this Saturday. My family and I will be attending the shindig. I am a little apprehensive about going. I don't know what to make of this friendship/relationship/neighborship (is that a word) I have no idea if she will be there, but I am pretty sure she will, in any case, I don't know what's going on, and therefore feel a little awkward. Yet, I have consulted my close friends on the subject and they can't see a reason why I would feel awkward. Is my body and mind simply reacting to my inner feelings which are suppressed because of the real world situation? Am I making a big deal about nothing that is concrete? Should I even try to wrap my head (heart) around the idea that something could be. (For the record, I would like to state that the only other time he mentioned her in our conversation was to simply state that she was a couch potato, who he had inner feelings for who he stated probably still existed simply because it had become a habit, custom). I also want to add that he made it clear that he would not disrespect her at any point, and he has not, nor have I.
the reason this is so conflicting with me is because I have a very anti-cheating philosophy I live by and I do not under any circumstances believe it is acceptable to cheat. I would never get between two people in a relationship and try and cause trouble. I have not tried to "seduce" him or tempt him in any way, I also have kept my distance and have not initiated any contact with him since the first night I invited him over for a beer (which I did before knowing he had a girlfriend)
I think I am feeling weird because there is such a strong connection between us and neither one of us expected for these feelings to arise. We thought we would just have a beer on that first night and he would go back home and I would go back home and that would be the end of it. Unfortunately we ended up talking forever and enjoyed each others company. Now is that unfortunate or is that fortunate?
I hope to get some insight from someone out there...