Ok so who
who has ever felt that Daddy is a super human who will always be in your life controlling everything that you do? -Raises hand- I have.
But today, I saw my dad being wheeled into his ward after his operation and I was suddenly struck by how deathly yellow he was. Maybe it was just the awful hospital lights, but momentarily, I freaked out. Can't blame me; the last time I saw anyone that colour, he died not soon after (my grandpa). That was the first time I had a fleeting image of my dad dying today.
The second time it happened was when the doctor came in and said that the tumour he removed was benign. And oddly enough, despite the good news, all I wanted to do at that point in time was ask the doctor, "ARE YOU VERY SURE ABOUT THAT?" Because I know doctors make mistakes too... and then I suddenly had an image of my dad dying of cancer.
I know all this sounds very morbid, but I am honestly freaked out by the thought of my dad dying. This is the first time it's hit home. Even though I really want to start living on my own and not under my dad's wing, I'd like that to happen knowing I can visit my dad anytime.
And after seeing my dad vomit from the anesthesia, how he refused to eat the awful-tasting hospital food, and how his eyes lighted up when I said I'd buy him cheng tng...I realised that Daddy is only human after all and just as I had been dependent on him when I was younger, he'd be dependent on me when he's older.
Truly, I have a love-hate relationship with my dad. Hate him for controlling me at times, love him for everything else.
Coincidentally, this post dedicated to my daddy is just in time for Father's Day this year. And dear God (this refers to a generic higher being, not any in particular), please don't ever let anything happen to my dad.
But today, I saw my dad being wheeled into his ward after his operation and I was suddenly struck by how deathly yellow he was. Maybe it was just the awful hospital lights, but momentarily, I freaked out. Can't blame me; the last time I saw anyone that colour, he died not soon after (my grandpa). That was the first time I had a fleeting image of my dad dying today.
The second time it happened was when the doctor came in and said that the tumour he removed was benign. And oddly enough, despite the good news, all I wanted to do at that point in time was ask the doctor, "ARE YOU VERY SURE ABOUT THAT?" Because I know doctors make mistakes too... and then I suddenly had an image of my dad dying of cancer.
I know all this sounds very morbid, but I am honestly freaked out by the thought of my dad dying. This is the first time it's hit home. Even though I really want to start living on my own and not under my dad's wing, I'd like that to happen knowing I can visit my dad anytime.
And after seeing my dad vomit from the anesthesia, how he refused to eat the awful-tasting hospital food, and how his eyes lighted up when I said I'd buy him cheng tng...I realised that Daddy is only human after all and just as I had been dependent on him when I was younger, he'd be dependent on me when he's older.
Truly, I have a love-hate relationship with my dad. Hate him for controlling me at times, love him for everything else.
Coincidentally, this post dedicated to my daddy is just in time for Father's Day this year. And dear God (this refers to a generic higher being, not any in particular), please don't ever let anything happen to my dad.