(no subject)
You ever have that feeling that inside you you're exhausted and don’t have the strength to do anything...but on the outside there is just so much to do its incredible? I hate that feeling sooooo much....like very thing is riding on everything I do...my whole life depends on every step I take (which it most likely does) I mean I have all my homework which I complete thank heavens by 1 in the morning every night...usually can't sleep so I do laundry or run outside. Now I have to do this lip scene again...I didn’t want to do it this year cause I have 2 plays to memorize...but no...Dow got me to do it...why am I the way I am...couldn’t I have just said no?
Why am I the way I am...I dunno. I try to treat everyone as I would like to be treated...but sometimes I say things I really don't mean or are just downright mean and I kick myself for that afterwards. I don't understand...I always help in whatever I can...always go the extra miles for a friend in need. But sometimes I just can't...I need to do what I want to...sometimes it's just too much. I just want everyone to be happy that's all.
Then there is the stereotype that I have idiotically placed upon myself. That I am unbreakable and that anything that would hurt another human being wouldn't hurt me. Well that's just stupid...like me being pushed off the stage...sure it was funny to watch for everyone else...but it hurt like hell the rest of the day. I know I was laying there peacefully...a target for someone to do that to me...but c'mon. It hurts...the stuff I do...flips, rolls, everything...they sure hurt...but you know why I continue to do them (and place that stereotype on myself) because I love the reactions on everyone’s faces. I guess it’s just the way I am....oh well...that's who I am.
And because of who I am I am very lucky to have many things. So I am going to stay this way.
It seems I just went 5 miles from the actual point of this thing...lol.
Oh well until next time...Have a wonderful life!
Why am I the way I am...I dunno. I try to treat everyone as I would like to be treated...but sometimes I say things I really don't mean or are just downright mean and I kick myself for that afterwards. I don't understand...I always help in whatever I can...always go the extra miles for a friend in need. But sometimes I just can't...I need to do what I want to...sometimes it's just too much. I just want everyone to be happy that's all.
Then there is the stereotype that I have idiotically placed upon myself. That I am unbreakable and that anything that would hurt another human being wouldn't hurt me. Well that's just stupid...like me being pushed off the stage...sure it was funny to watch for everyone else...but it hurt like hell the rest of the day. I know I was laying there peacefully...a target for someone to do that to me...but c'mon. It hurts...the stuff I do...flips, rolls, everything...they sure hurt...but you know why I continue to do them (and place that stereotype on myself) because I love the reactions on everyone’s faces. I guess it’s just the way I am....oh well...that's who I am.
And because of who I am I am very lucky to have many things. So I am going to stay this way.
It seems I just went 5 miles from the actual point of this thing...lol.
Oh well until next time...Have a wonderful life!