Stress
Im really stressed out again today. I've been thinking about a lot of things all of which i will relate to you my dedicated readers:
#1)The simple fact of the matter is, though i've been getting As and Bs in school i really have not been trying all that hard in school. Most of my teachers are either incompitant or just like my character enough to be lenient. So what am i going to do when i get into college? I feel like i am not preparing myself for the workload at all. I am perfectly and completly excited about moving out but will i be able to handle the pressure? I have the rational to figure out everything will be just fine but all of we stupid emotional bloggers know that rational doesnt affect emotion in any way!
#2)Love, attraction, lust, all seem to be blending themselves together recently i have only 1 potential way i can be attracted to a given person. Its pretty much sexual...thats not to say i am not a romantic about it. I still enjoy the olde cuddly shmuddly, but recently its been pretty much sexual in my mind, which i dont really like. I've been trying to make attempts to meet new people or reunite with old friends. I liked the romantic me more, and i need to find someone i am attracted to in a relationshippy kinda way. But i am wondering if at this time in my life thats even possible. I think it is once again by use of rational but how can i be sure.
#3)I've been doing to many different drugs to be less stressed recently. Irony is when im sober, like now for example it makes the stress even worse. I am wondering wether or not i will be able to stop, like ever. Maybe i'll be one of those 40 or 50 year old stoner dads with like grey hair and shit, as funny as that would NOT be what i want to be.
On the plus side i've been drawing a lot more...i think i am getting better at it again. Which is rad...
#1)The simple fact of the matter is, though i've been getting As and Bs in school i really have not been trying all that hard in school. Most of my teachers are either incompitant or just like my character enough to be lenient. So what am i going to do when i get into college? I feel like i am not preparing myself for the workload at all. I am perfectly and completly excited about moving out but will i be able to handle the pressure? I have the rational to figure out everything will be just fine but all of we stupid emotional bloggers know that rational doesnt affect emotion in any way!
#2)Love, attraction, lust, all seem to be blending themselves together recently i have only 1 potential way i can be attracted to a given person. Its pretty much sexual...thats not to say i am not a romantic about it. I still enjoy the olde cuddly shmuddly, but recently its been pretty much sexual in my mind, which i dont really like. I've been trying to make attempts to meet new people or reunite with old friends. I liked the romantic me more, and i need to find someone i am attracted to in a relationshippy kinda way. But i am wondering if at this time in my life thats even possible. I think it is once again by use of rational but how can i be sure.
#3)I've been doing to many different drugs to be less stressed recently. Irony is when im sober, like now for example it makes the stress even worse. I am wondering wether or not i will be able to stop, like ever. Maybe i'll be one of those 40 or 50 year old stoner dads with like grey hair and shit, as funny as that would NOT be what i want to be.
On the plus side i've been drawing a lot more...i think i am getting better at it again. Which is rad...