Change
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or KT Tunstall’s “Change.”
-xx-
Title: Change
Author:
risveglio
Summary: "So, what you're saying is," he told his reflection, "do you still believe that we can work things out?"
Parings: RoyEd
Rating: PG-13; for language
Category: Drama/Romance
Words: 2,541
Warnings: Nothing, really? Slight Edward Angst.
Status: Complete
Change
-xx-
Edward missed Roy. Plain and simple. He wanted him back almost more than he felt like he was right. He knew it was over, that they would never be together again. Roy had started dating women again, and the two had returned to their previous relationship, prior to their involvement. Everything was back to normal-or so it seemed. Edward had become apathetic. He often stayed home, staring blankly out the window.
Alphonse moved in the background, his bare feet scurrying softly across the floor of Ed’s military dorm. As if he were answering some unasked question, Ed spoke softy. “The wind is cold tonight…or so I am told.” He shrugged, “I don’t really know.”
Alphonse sighed, “Brother, Winry sent me down here to spend time with you, but all we’ve done is sit around your dorm… is there something wrong?”
Ed slumped in his seat. “No, everything is great,” he remarked sarcastically.
Raising an eyebrow, Al inquired, “This would have anything to do with a certain raven haired Major General, would it?”
Edward didn’t need to answer-even if Alphonse hadn’t already known the answer before he asked, his face would have given him away. So, instead of responding, Ed chose to be silent and rest his chin on the ledge of the window.
“…thought so,” the younger Elric confirmed. “You know, Ed, sitting here, sulking and doing nothing is not helping you.”
“I’m not sulking, Al.” Ed shot. “…besides. It doesn’t matter. He’s moved on-so should I.”
Al smiled softly and a chuckle escaped from between his lips-causing Ed to become flustered and spring from his chair. “Look, you! Don’t you friggen mock me!”
“I’m not mocking you, brother. Its just amusing to me that you are so sure that that’s its over, while the rest of the world can see that it’s clearly not.” He raised a brow at his older brother, “have you even seen the Major General lately?”
Ed shook his head; while he was still of a subordinate of Major General Mustang’s, he had turned in all his reports, and received all his assignments from Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye. It wasn’t that Ed was avoiding him; it was that Roy was always busy. Since he got his promotion, he had more work and he was in his office almost twice as much-which was most of the reason why the two split.
“I went to see him,” Alphonse continued, “I went to see him before I came here-and I think you should too.”
“No,” Ed’s eyes narrowed angrily.
Al sighed. It was against everything he believed in to bicker with Ed, especially at their age. Still, he replied, “Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
The two had a stare-down for about five minutes before Edward grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the room without a word, leaving Al feeling quite self-assured.
-xx-
Roy Mustang was sleeping, drooling all over his brand now cherry wood desk, and his brand new stack of paperwork-all left unsigned, of course. As he dozed carelessly, he unknowingly was about to harbor a very angry, very unexpected visitor; and as that visitor approached, one could hear his assistant pleading said visitor to wait-that the Major General was very busy and could not take any interruptions at the moment. If Roy had been awake, he would have heard a tiny, very angry blonde screaming at Hawkeye that he didn’t care, and the Major General might have thought about how dangerous such an action was.
But, Mustang did not, and could not think these things, because he was happily snoozing, dreaming of the unknown. Sleeping, that is, until the door of his office slammed open so hard that as it hit the wall, it took of a noticeable amount of paint-and jolted Roy out of his peaceful nap-and back to reality. The reality that he was a Major General in the Amestrian military, who had about a thousand papers to sign, and nowhere in his schedule was there an evening nap.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Ed screamed at the dazed man across the room, as he slammed the door shut. “You have ‘too much work?’” He made quotations in the air with his fingers, “’You’re too busy?’ Too busy fucking sleeping!”
Roy blinked. He tried to regain focus, and when he realized that Edward Elric was the one across the room who was screaming at him, and had pulled him out of his nap, he merely smiled smugly. “Well, I was wondering how you got in here with Hawkeye guarding the door, but since it’s you, I guess she couldn’t see you walking by,” he licked his lips, “shrimp.”
It had been so long since he had spoke with the blonde, that insulting him had become a luxury; seeing his wild, twitching, flustered reaction been a rarity around the office. It was wonderful to see him in such a passionate way for the first time in-was it really?-months.
“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A GODDAMN SHRIMP THAT IS SO TINY THAT HE COULDN’T SWIM THROUGHT OCEAN BECAUSE EVERY CURRENT WOULD BE MUCH TOO STRONG?”
Roy smiled widely. Such passion, it reminded him of the way Ed was in private: fervent, wild, passionate-especially in bed. Roy sighed, but stopped himself when he realized what he was doing: pining after the younger in front of him whilst remembering their past relationship. He had promised himself that he’d stopped. After all, they’d ended their involvement over a year ago. Edward clearly no longer interested, and they were over. No matter how much Roy longed for his blonde ex-lover, nothing would change the fact that they were over.
“I would think that was obvious, Fullmetal,” the title still felt odd on his tongue, after it had been absent from his mouth for so long. “After all, we’re the only ones in the room.”
Edward became even more flustered, but, surprisingly, there was no second outburst. The blonde merely clenched his fists and took a couple of deep breaths. “Look,” Ed hissed, clearly not in control of his composure. “I didn’t come here to friggen argue with you, Mustang.”
The Major General raised an eyebrow, rising from his chair to prop against his desk with his hands. “Oh, really?” Roy inquired, “and what, pray tell, did you storm in my office for, then?”
Ed yelped, flushing once again. “Well, well, well, I…” his voice lowered, breaking eye contact with the other, “Well, I wanted to ask you… well…”
“Spit it out, Fullmetal!” Roy shot.
Ed growled softly before swallowing and looking back at Roy. “Do you… well… do you ever think you’re being thought about?”
Roy gave Edward a look. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” Edward stated dryly. “When you’re sitting at home, do you ever wonder if anyone is thinking about you?”
This was as close to a declaration of love as any that Edward could even muster, and as the older man came to this realization, his look softened greatly. He sighed and turned to the window, staring blankly into the chilled twilight.
“So, what you’re saying is,” he told his reflection, “do you still believe that we can work things out?”
Edward’s eyes widened, and for a second, he didn’t know what to say, as Roy had hit the nail on the head. Finally, he answered, “Year, I mean,” he gulped, feeling the oddly familiar name in his throat, “Roy, does it really matter now-all those things that we said?” He paused for a second before growling angrily and mussing his golden hair until his braid was beyond recognition. “This is so confusing! I mean, if I change… am I denying what was said?”
“…and if you stay the same, you feel like you’re creating greater problems instead.” Roy mumbled, “I know. I’ve been feeling the same way rather often.”
“Really?” Edward almost sprung onto Roy’s cherry-wood desk.
“Calm down, Edward,” Roy said coldly. “I did not say anything that would change our current, or lack of, involvement.”
“Why the fuck not?! What is stopping you? I don’t understand!”
“You just said it! I don’t want to change! I don’t want to give up all I’ve worked for! I’m a Major General now, Ed! I have even more work now than when we were together. I was a Brigadier General then. I have a bigger command now. I’m usually here until seven or eight and night and I have to be here at eight A.M. Every day.”
“But,” Ed shot back, “I still don’t understand why! If you have such a big command, then miss a day! Make one of your dozens of new subordinates do your paperwork, take some of it home!” Edward sighed sadly. “I missed you, Roy,” he flushed. “I would come home from the library or whatever and you would never be there. Suddenly, you were coming home later and later. First it was six, then seven, then nine. Then, it was consistently ten o’ clock, and I never saw you! I was tired of waiting-it was infuriating!”
“All you’d ever do was complain and scream at me!” Roy complained, “I was on the brink of a promotion, with tons of work, and I was looking forward to time with you, and maybe a little relaxation, but everyday, I was faced with yell after yell, lecture after lecture, fight after fight!” The black haired man huffed angrily, “I just couldn’t take it anymore!”
The two were silent now, staring each other down until, finally, Roy spoke. “So,” he sighed, “what are we going to do here?”
“…I’ve realized something over these thirteen months that we’ve been apart,” Edward admitted, “and that is that I would prefer you by my side all of the time. I think that you would also do better if I were with you, as well.”
Roy raised an eyebrow, “…and that’s all? In over a year’s time, of not having me with you, after three years of nothing but me, you’ve only just discovered that you prefer my company?” Roy leaned against his desk, chuckling softly, “Well, that sure makes me feel special.”
“Well,” Ed’s eyes averted the older’s onyx ones, and his cheeks flushed bright pink. “I’ve, uh, realized other things, as well. After all, I’ve had a lot of time on my hand since Al got his body back, and I don’t have you anymore.”
“And what are those things?”
Edward glared at Roy, as if he were trying to tell him telepathically that he was refusing to answer such a question.
“…okay…?” Roy said, “for get I asked… for now.”
“This is too stressful,” Edward stated, collapsing onto the couch. “I never imagined that I’d come here and say any of this to you. I haven’t planned any of this.”
“Well, Edward, I think you’d know best that all the most… memorable things that happened between us were never planned.” The Major General’s eyes twinkled as a wide grin spread across his face.
Edward sputtered and blushed profusely. “Y-y-yeah… th-that’s t-true.”
Mustang pushed off his desk and strode across the room, sitting down on the couch, a good distance from the eldest Elric. He crossed his arms behind his head and laid back, expelling a long, stressful sigh from his mouth. “This is too complicated.”
Ed shot Roy a look and snapped, “I just said that!”
“I know,” Roy said, “but, I’m sitting here, tying to think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t be with you, but all I want to do is this.”
The raven-haired man leaned over and caught Ed’s lips in his own, sealing them together in a chaste kiss. Edward’s fingers clenched the cloth on the green couch, pushing into the kiss as much as possible, even with the half foot of distance between them. A burst of emotion shot through his veins, the taste of Roy on his lips still familiar. His tongue longer to feel the other’s, taste his mouth to see if anything had changed in the long absence. This kiss felt… right-especially as one that ay rekindle their relationship-because it was so similar to their first.
Really, the first kiss between Roy and Edward wasn’t all that special as far as kisses go, especially when compared with the hundreds of thousands that would follow. However, it was important to Edward, because not only was it the kiss that would spark their relationship, but it was also Ed’s very first kiss. Roy was Ed’s first everything-his first crush, his first kiss, first sexual partner, first love (though he might never admit it), and first love lost. Perhaps that was the reason why Edward was so lost, confused without the first person to show him romantic love. Before Roy, he merely assumed that he didn’t need a girlfriend, (or boyfriend, in this case), at the time. Really, all he thought of when it came to his life and future was getting Alphonse’s body back.
However, when it came to Roy, Edward couldn’t quite keep to his plan. For the longest time, the blonde would become flustered when receiving a glance from Roy Mustang’s narrow onyx eyes, masking it with anger. It wasn’t until he turned sixteen and return after a year of absence did he realize what those blushes and fluttering of the heart that the colonel brought about meant. He knew that he was attracted to the older, and that made it a little easier to communicate with him. Not only that, but when Edward returned, puberty weaning, the colonel began to send mixed signals that would eventually lead to obvious hints. For two months, the two shot hints until, finally, it happened-the kiss.
As aforementioned, it really wasn’t all that special. Edward and Roy were arguing in the confines of the colonel’s office. Ed leaned in a little to far forward over the other’s desk, and Roy took advantage-catching Ed’s lips in a soft kiss.
However, that was then and this was now. Back then, he had been so sure that that kiss would lead to something more. Now, as Roy pulled away, his eyes still closed, he showed his mixed feelings all over his face, and Edward couldn’t say that he was so sure about this one. Before the raven-haired man could say anything, Edward dove into his chest, relief cooling his blood as arms wrapped around him in a loose embrace.
“Look, Roy,” Ed mumbled, face buried in the soft confines of Roy’s blue military jacket. “I don’t care what happens, I just want to know…” he gulped, “…can I still creep into your bed at night?”
Roy paused, arms tightening around the twenty-year-old, before answering. “Of course, Edward,” he murmured, resting his chin on the blonde head on his chest, “there will always be a place for you at my side when you need to sleep.”
-xx-
A/N: Eh, I don’t know if I like this. I really like this song, though, so I hope it turned out well. Hope you like it!
-xx-
Title: Change
Author:
risveglio
Summary: "So, what you're saying is," he told his reflection, "do you still believe that we can work things out?"
Parings: RoyEd
Rating: PG-13; for language
Category: Drama/Romance
Words: 2,541
Warnings: Nothing, really? Slight Edward Angst.
Status: Complete
Change
-xx-
Edward missed Roy. Plain and simple. He wanted him back almost more than he felt like he was right. He knew it was over, that they would never be together again. Roy had started dating women again, and the two had returned to their previous relationship, prior to their involvement. Everything was back to normal-or so it seemed. Edward had become apathetic. He often stayed home, staring blankly out the window.
Alphonse moved in the background, his bare feet scurrying softly across the floor of Ed’s military dorm. As if he were answering some unasked question, Ed spoke softy. “The wind is cold tonight…or so I am told.” He shrugged, “I don’t really know.”
Alphonse sighed, “Brother, Winry sent me down here to spend time with you, but all we’ve done is sit around your dorm… is there something wrong?”
Ed slumped in his seat. “No, everything is great,” he remarked sarcastically.
Raising an eyebrow, Al inquired, “This would have anything to do with a certain raven haired Major General, would it?”
Edward didn’t need to answer-even if Alphonse hadn’t already known the answer before he asked, his face would have given him away. So, instead of responding, Ed chose to be silent and rest his chin on the ledge of the window.
“…thought so,” the younger Elric confirmed. “You know, Ed, sitting here, sulking and doing nothing is not helping you.”
“I’m not sulking, Al.” Ed shot. “…besides. It doesn’t matter. He’s moved on-so should I.”
Al smiled softly and a chuckle escaped from between his lips-causing Ed to become flustered and spring from his chair. “Look, you! Don’t you friggen mock me!”
“I’m not mocking you, brother. Its just amusing to me that you are so sure that that’s its over, while the rest of the world can see that it’s clearly not.” He raised a brow at his older brother, “have you even seen the Major General lately?”
Ed shook his head; while he was still of a subordinate of Major General Mustang’s, he had turned in all his reports, and received all his assignments from Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye. It wasn’t that Ed was avoiding him; it was that Roy was always busy. Since he got his promotion, he had more work and he was in his office almost twice as much-which was most of the reason why the two split.
“I went to see him,” Alphonse continued, “I went to see him before I came here-and I think you should too.”
“No,” Ed’s eyes narrowed angrily.
Al sighed. It was against everything he believed in to bicker with Ed, especially at their age. Still, he replied, “Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
The two had a stare-down for about five minutes before Edward grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the room without a word, leaving Al feeling quite self-assured.
-xx-
Roy Mustang was sleeping, drooling all over his brand now cherry wood desk, and his brand new stack of paperwork-all left unsigned, of course. As he dozed carelessly, he unknowingly was about to harbor a very angry, very unexpected visitor; and as that visitor approached, one could hear his assistant pleading said visitor to wait-that the Major General was very busy and could not take any interruptions at the moment. If Roy had been awake, he would have heard a tiny, very angry blonde screaming at Hawkeye that he didn’t care, and the Major General might have thought about how dangerous such an action was.
But, Mustang did not, and could not think these things, because he was happily snoozing, dreaming of the unknown. Sleeping, that is, until the door of his office slammed open so hard that as it hit the wall, it took of a noticeable amount of paint-and jolted Roy out of his peaceful nap-and back to reality. The reality that he was a Major General in the Amestrian military, who had about a thousand papers to sign, and nowhere in his schedule was there an evening nap.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” Ed screamed at the dazed man across the room, as he slammed the door shut. “You have ‘too much work?’” He made quotations in the air with his fingers, “’You’re too busy?’ Too busy fucking sleeping!”
Roy blinked. He tried to regain focus, and when he realized that Edward Elric was the one across the room who was screaming at him, and had pulled him out of his nap, he merely smiled smugly. “Well, I was wondering how you got in here with Hawkeye guarding the door, but since it’s you, I guess she couldn’t see you walking by,” he licked his lips, “shrimp.”
It had been so long since he had spoke with the blonde, that insulting him had become a luxury; seeing his wild, twitching, flustered reaction been a rarity around the office. It was wonderful to see him in such a passionate way for the first time in-was it really?-months.
“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A GODDAMN SHRIMP THAT IS SO TINY THAT HE COULDN’T SWIM THROUGHT OCEAN BECAUSE EVERY CURRENT WOULD BE MUCH TOO STRONG?”
Roy smiled widely. Such passion, it reminded him of the way Ed was in private: fervent, wild, passionate-especially in bed. Roy sighed, but stopped himself when he realized what he was doing: pining after the younger in front of him whilst remembering their past relationship. He had promised himself that he’d stopped. After all, they’d ended their involvement over a year ago. Edward clearly no longer interested, and they were over. No matter how much Roy longed for his blonde ex-lover, nothing would change the fact that they were over.
“I would think that was obvious, Fullmetal,” the title still felt odd on his tongue, after it had been absent from his mouth for so long. “After all, we’re the only ones in the room.”
Edward became even more flustered, but, surprisingly, there was no second outburst. The blonde merely clenched his fists and took a couple of deep breaths. “Look,” Ed hissed, clearly not in control of his composure. “I didn’t come here to friggen argue with you, Mustang.”
The Major General raised an eyebrow, rising from his chair to prop against his desk with his hands. “Oh, really?” Roy inquired, “and what, pray tell, did you storm in my office for, then?”
Ed yelped, flushing once again. “Well, well, well, I…” his voice lowered, breaking eye contact with the other, “Well, I wanted to ask you… well…”
“Spit it out, Fullmetal!” Roy shot.
Ed growled softly before swallowing and looking back at Roy. “Do you… well… do you ever think you’re being thought about?”
Roy gave Edward a look. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” Edward stated dryly. “When you’re sitting at home, do you ever wonder if anyone is thinking about you?”
This was as close to a declaration of love as any that Edward could even muster, and as the older man came to this realization, his look softened greatly. He sighed and turned to the window, staring blankly into the chilled twilight.
“So, what you’re saying is,” he told his reflection, “do you still believe that we can work things out?”
Edward’s eyes widened, and for a second, he didn’t know what to say, as Roy had hit the nail on the head. Finally, he answered, “Year, I mean,” he gulped, feeling the oddly familiar name in his throat, “Roy, does it really matter now-all those things that we said?” He paused for a second before growling angrily and mussing his golden hair until his braid was beyond recognition. “This is so confusing! I mean, if I change… am I denying what was said?”
“…and if you stay the same, you feel like you’re creating greater problems instead.” Roy mumbled, “I know. I’ve been feeling the same way rather often.”
“Really?” Edward almost sprung onto Roy’s cherry-wood desk.
“Calm down, Edward,” Roy said coldly. “I did not say anything that would change our current, or lack of, involvement.”
“Why the fuck not?! What is stopping you? I don’t understand!”
“You just said it! I don’t want to change! I don’t want to give up all I’ve worked for! I’m a Major General now, Ed! I have even more work now than when we were together. I was a Brigadier General then. I have a bigger command now. I’m usually here until seven or eight and night and I have to be here at eight A.M. Every day.”
“But,” Ed shot back, “I still don’t understand why! If you have such a big command, then miss a day! Make one of your dozens of new subordinates do your paperwork, take some of it home!” Edward sighed sadly. “I missed you, Roy,” he flushed. “I would come home from the library or whatever and you would never be there. Suddenly, you were coming home later and later. First it was six, then seven, then nine. Then, it was consistently ten o’ clock, and I never saw you! I was tired of waiting-it was infuriating!”
“All you’d ever do was complain and scream at me!” Roy complained, “I was on the brink of a promotion, with tons of work, and I was looking forward to time with you, and maybe a little relaxation, but everyday, I was faced with yell after yell, lecture after lecture, fight after fight!” The black haired man huffed angrily, “I just couldn’t take it anymore!”
The two were silent now, staring each other down until, finally, Roy spoke. “So,” he sighed, “what are we going to do here?”
“…I’ve realized something over these thirteen months that we’ve been apart,” Edward admitted, “and that is that I would prefer you by my side all of the time. I think that you would also do better if I were with you, as well.”
Roy raised an eyebrow, “…and that’s all? In over a year’s time, of not having me with you, after three years of nothing but me, you’ve only just discovered that you prefer my company?” Roy leaned against his desk, chuckling softly, “Well, that sure makes me feel special.”
“Well,” Ed’s eyes averted the older’s onyx ones, and his cheeks flushed bright pink. “I’ve, uh, realized other things, as well. After all, I’ve had a lot of time on my hand since Al got his body back, and I don’t have you anymore.”
“And what are those things?”
Edward glared at Roy, as if he were trying to tell him telepathically that he was refusing to answer such a question.
“…okay…?” Roy said, “for get I asked… for now.”
“This is too stressful,” Edward stated, collapsing onto the couch. “I never imagined that I’d come here and say any of this to you. I haven’t planned any of this.”
“Well, Edward, I think you’d know best that all the most… memorable things that happened between us were never planned.” The Major General’s eyes twinkled as a wide grin spread across his face.
Edward sputtered and blushed profusely. “Y-y-yeah… th-that’s t-true.”
Mustang pushed off his desk and strode across the room, sitting down on the couch, a good distance from the eldest Elric. He crossed his arms behind his head and laid back, expelling a long, stressful sigh from his mouth. “This is too complicated.”
Ed shot Roy a look and snapped, “I just said that!”
“I know,” Roy said, “but, I’m sitting here, tying to think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t be with you, but all I want to do is this.”
The raven-haired man leaned over and caught Ed’s lips in his own, sealing them together in a chaste kiss. Edward’s fingers clenched the cloth on the green couch, pushing into the kiss as much as possible, even with the half foot of distance between them. A burst of emotion shot through his veins, the taste of Roy on his lips still familiar. His tongue longer to feel the other’s, taste his mouth to see if anything had changed in the long absence. This kiss felt… right-especially as one that ay rekindle their relationship-because it was so similar to their first.
Really, the first kiss between Roy and Edward wasn’t all that special as far as kisses go, especially when compared with the hundreds of thousands that would follow. However, it was important to Edward, because not only was it the kiss that would spark their relationship, but it was also Ed’s very first kiss. Roy was Ed’s first everything-his first crush, his first kiss, first sexual partner, first love (though he might never admit it), and first love lost. Perhaps that was the reason why Edward was so lost, confused without the first person to show him romantic love. Before Roy, he merely assumed that he didn’t need a girlfriend, (or boyfriend, in this case), at the time. Really, all he thought of when it came to his life and future was getting Alphonse’s body back.
However, when it came to Roy, Edward couldn’t quite keep to his plan. For the longest time, the blonde would become flustered when receiving a glance from Roy Mustang’s narrow onyx eyes, masking it with anger. It wasn’t until he turned sixteen and return after a year of absence did he realize what those blushes and fluttering of the heart that the colonel brought about meant. He knew that he was attracted to the older, and that made it a little easier to communicate with him. Not only that, but when Edward returned, puberty weaning, the colonel began to send mixed signals that would eventually lead to obvious hints. For two months, the two shot hints until, finally, it happened-the kiss.
As aforementioned, it really wasn’t all that special. Edward and Roy were arguing in the confines of the colonel’s office. Ed leaned in a little to far forward over the other’s desk, and Roy took advantage-catching Ed’s lips in a soft kiss.
However, that was then and this was now. Back then, he had been so sure that that kiss would lead to something more. Now, as Roy pulled away, his eyes still closed, he showed his mixed feelings all over his face, and Edward couldn’t say that he was so sure about this one. Before the raven-haired man could say anything, Edward dove into his chest, relief cooling his blood as arms wrapped around him in a loose embrace.
“Look, Roy,” Ed mumbled, face buried in the soft confines of Roy’s blue military jacket. “I don’t care what happens, I just want to know…” he gulped, “…can I still creep into your bed at night?”
Roy paused, arms tightening around the twenty-year-old, before answering. “Of course, Edward,” he murmured, resting his chin on the blonde head on his chest, “there will always be a place for you at my side when you need to sleep.”
-xx-
A/N: Eh, I don’t know if I like this. I really like this song, though, so I hope it turned out well. Hope you like it!