let go, its over.
i guess nothing really sparked this change of events in my life, but suddenly i got to the point where i needed to move somewhere. i refused to take anymore steps backwards because it felt like that was primarily what we had done thus far. 10+ months into this thing, and still no direction, no title, and then there was no hope.
i told him it was over, 75% seriously, 25% wishfully -- thinking that he would fight me about that and try harder to prove that he cared.. maybe make that next step, maybe be more honest, more open, more carefree. clearly he doesnt care, because he put up a minimal fight and left it at that. its so over. it has been over. when did it even start?
im kind of relieved and kind of sad at the same time. it feels good to not feel so stressed and confused and the emotional ups and downs really dragged me all over the place. it sucks because i did care for this guy, and felt that at some point, he cared too. but words and actions and all that didnt match, and it was too inconsistent, and i decided that i dont need someone in my life who isnt sure how they feel about me.
i feel that i am at a weird point right now, where my closest friends are leaving and now he is completely out of the picture. its strange to think about right now; katie got an apartment in NYC and molly is moving to israel. the two people that i grew the closest to are not going to be so close anymore.
i am really excited to move to this apartment, it is going to be so great. its just tough knowing that everyone is moving away in different directions, some across the world, others in what seems like is across the world, and some will still be down the street but will never be seen.. because what we had, what little we had, was lost and is now gone.
ciao.
*katelyn*
i told him it was over, 75% seriously, 25% wishfully -- thinking that he would fight me about that and try harder to prove that he cared.. maybe make that next step, maybe be more honest, more open, more carefree. clearly he doesnt care, because he put up a minimal fight and left it at that. its so over. it has been over. when did it even start?
im kind of relieved and kind of sad at the same time. it feels good to not feel so stressed and confused and the emotional ups and downs really dragged me all over the place. it sucks because i did care for this guy, and felt that at some point, he cared too. but words and actions and all that didnt match, and it was too inconsistent, and i decided that i dont need someone in my life who isnt sure how they feel about me.
i feel that i am at a weird point right now, where my closest friends are leaving and now he is completely out of the picture. its strange to think about right now; katie got an apartment in NYC and molly is moving to israel. the two people that i grew the closest to are not going to be so close anymore.
i am really excited to move to this apartment, it is going to be so great. its just tough knowing that everyone is moving away in different directions, some across the world, others in what seems like is across the world, and some will still be down the street but will never be seen.. because what we had, what little we had, was lost and is now gone.
ciao.
*katelyn*