This is how it works. . .

[rissawonders]

...you're young until you're not; you love until you don't; you try until you can't; you laugh until you cry; you cry until you laugh; and everyone must breathe until their dying breath. No, this is how it works...

Today feels like probably the worst day of my life.

It feels like failure. Which isn't fair when you try until you can't. And it doesn't count for anything.

I'd like to point this out to every one of you optimistic people. Please leave your horrible bull in your own heads. I no longer care to hear it.

I don't know what all of this wonderous stuff you say that I missing out on. I think you are all lying.

I know that I missing out on: Hurt. Pain. Vulnerablility. Unloyalty. Rudeness. Infidelity.

And don't tell me the opposites of these things exist. I'm 21 years old and I am pretty sure I would have seen them by now.

I probably did. I was just too jaded to know the difference.

This is what is inside me: Rot. Emptiness. Hate. Bitterness. Some Organs. Pain. Pessismism. Anger.

I'd like someone to help me with this, because I am too far gone to fix it by myself.

Any one willing to assist me in believeing that life has good in it is welcome to. When I have a phone number again I will give it to you.