The beauty of being gone...
Ok. I'm slowly returning to the person i love.......it's so hard to be multiple faces, because you have to choose which one you like best.
honestly it's not as easy as it sounds. I think i should clean up. Not that i've done much, but it's the thought that counts.
I saw some pictures on Stef's LJ today, and it made me really homesick. It seems like anything can make me homesick now days. For a whilei was fine. Breathing in the winter air that was way too warm and dealing with it. Staring at a blank horizon and calling it my home. That's great, sure. Until i see those mountains. Until i remember the beauty i left behind so i could endure this. I'm sick of it. My parents dont even get along so why the hell did he drag me 600 miles south away from everything i know and love? I needed change. Everything happens for a reason. All of these answers are just not good enough i'm afraid. I'm sorry. Julia is supposed to come see me sometime in March, i swear i won't let her go, i won't be able to. Every cigarette i smoke she breathes too, because she is my best friend and God knows i miss her. I miss so much. I look back on freshman year and wonder why i just didn't run away. I could still be there. I could still be with those people that are the only family i really know..but i'm not. i chose to follow my mother and make this 10 hour drive to hell...
why?
I don't know. All i can say, is i hope i'll be home soon. I don't know how much longer i can take this stupid hotel.
honestly it's not as easy as it sounds. I think i should clean up. Not that i've done much, but it's the thought that counts.
I saw some pictures on Stef's LJ today, and it made me really homesick. It seems like anything can make me homesick now days. For a whilei was fine. Breathing in the winter air that was way too warm and dealing with it. Staring at a blank horizon and calling it my home. That's great, sure. Until i see those mountains. Until i remember the beauty i left behind so i could endure this. I'm sick of it. My parents dont even get along so why the hell did he drag me 600 miles south away from everything i know and love? I needed change. Everything happens for a reason. All of these answers are just not good enough i'm afraid. I'm sorry. Julia is supposed to come see me sometime in March, i swear i won't let her go, i won't be able to. Every cigarette i smoke she breathes too, because she is my best friend and God knows i miss her. I miss so much. I look back on freshman year and wonder why i just didn't run away. I could still be there. I could still be with those people that are the only family i really know..but i'm not. i chose to follow my mother and make this 10 hour drive to hell...
why?
I don't know. All i can say, is i hope i'll be home soon. I don't know how much longer i can take this stupid hotel.