(no subject)
The box
I am on vacation this week, and today (Monday Oct 30th) I decided to go through some of the boxes in my garage. It figures that the first box I opened contained all the cards and letters that Brian gave to me. All the love notes, birthday cards, valentine cards, and just all the "I just love you cards". I can remember all the situations where Brian left me a beautiful note in the morning. Sometimes I would leave for work and let him sleep in, and when I come home for work there was a love note. Or I would wake up for work and look in the refrig and there was a bag with lunch for me and a note. I have moved on from Brian, even though some doubt it. I mean I have moved on in so much as I don't hurt or feel paralyzed, by my love for him. Things have been going great for me. I love what I do for work, money is really good, I have a new home that I love, going to buy a new car soon, great friends, family, health, and a good social life. BUT as I went through that box, and read the cards, notes, and saw the pictures, the feelings that I HAD for Brian just flooded me. For a few minutes I felt like I was punched in the stomach again. I mean I know I am not the first person to be in love and have that love end, but it is what it is. We are all unique human beings and we all deal with stuff in a unique way. That is why I love doing psychology/counseling. The human story is different for each person. I have not seen or talked with Brian for close to a year. I am now at the place where I can hope that is doing great and he is happy. I know that he loved me, and I loved him more than I have loved anybody else. We dated 2 1/2 years, and shared many things. Well, that's it. I could write more, because I am feeling so many things right now, but back to the boxes.
I am on vacation this week, and today (Monday Oct 30th) I decided to go through some of the boxes in my garage. It figures that the first box I opened contained all the cards and letters that Brian gave to me. All the love notes, birthday cards, valentine cards, and just all the "I just love you cards". I can remember all the situations where Brian left me a beautiful note in the morning. Sometimes I would leave for work and let him sleep in, and when I come home for work there was a love note. Or I would wake up for work and look in the refrig and there was a bag with lunch for me and a note. I have moved on from Brian, even though some doubt it. I mean I have moved on in so much as I don't hurt or feel paralyzed, by my love for him. Things have been going great for me. I love what I do for work, money is really good, I have a new home that I love, going to buy a new car soon, great friends, family, health, and a good social life. BUT as I went through that box, and read the cards, notes, and saw the pictures, the feelings that I HAD for Brian just flooded me. For a few minutes I felt like I was punched in the stomach again. I mean I know I am not the first person to be in love and have that love end, but it is what it is. We are all unique human beings and we all deal with stuff in a unique way. That is why I love doing psychology/counseling. The human story is different for each person. I have not seen or talked with Brian for close to a year. I am now at the place where I can hope that is doing great and he is happy. I know that he loved me, and I loved him more than I have loved anybody else. We dated 2 1/2 years, and shared many things. Well, that's it. I could write more, because I am feeling so many things right now, but back to the boxes.