o man, i am so incredibly frustrated for some indefinable reason, about the pending immigration of my first cousin, Mary G from the Philippines
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omg, that is AWESOME. i'm going to steal it and put on my front page, courtesy you, if that's alright???
and yeah, i think that's it... i've been coerced into it. my mum basically left when i was 5, off overseas and i saw her once again when i was 10, then when i was... 13, then 17.
then i, for some stupid reason, thought it would be good if she 'looked after me' when i was depressed, so she flew over here and moved in with me and that lasted for about a month before i moved out. then i discovered that she was staying here forever - she never told me, i saw it on her Medicare form. unbelievable. then she got very sick (kidney failure from her diabetes... 'inspires' me to make sure my diabetes is controlled... but that's hard!) and it's been a downward spiral since. she and my dad were all guilttripping my ass for applying for her to move into a nursing home. WTF? like she's going to live in my tiny 2 bedroom townhouse with my boyfriend and 2 cats? my dad was all, "where i come from, we care for our parents until they die."
ugh. and lose my life andeverything? sucks having older/sick parents cos i'm going thru stuff that ppl don't normally do until they're at least in their 40's.
and apparently applications for immigration are more successful if a blood relative sponsors them. as my dad is divorced from my mum (her blood aunty), it was seen as being best that i sponsor her, being her first cousin. technically it's in name only as my dad is the one who is going to pay the money and put them up in his rental property, but i still had to sign papers agreeing i'd support them and everything. Jed had to sign stuff too, along the same lines.
You don't have to steal it. I made it for you, remember? hehe Please, use it as you see fit. If you want to credit, that's fine too, but you don't have to.
Yeah, I can understand the glimmer of hope that depression can fool you into seeing. I saw that when I asked my female parent to move in with me and my (then) boyfriend. She was only going to stay temporarily, until she found a job and a place to live. She moved in and began picking fights with the boyfriend the entire time, so he moved out w/in a month. I'd asked her not to smoke in the house (because I'm uber sensitive to ciggy smoke), but that shit stopped about two months in. She badgered me and went back to making me feel bad about myself. I got seriously suicidal and came to the realization that she was extremely toxic and that for my own sake, I HAD to move out. So I basically left all my shit there and moved out. gr
And I got blessed out by my male parent about that too. He told me that I would need to care for my mother in her old age. I'm like, "dude, I plan on doing that when she needs it. Right now, she's in her 50's and still quite capable of working. I'll care and support her when she's aged and needs support. I won't do it just because she doesn't want to work." Nowadays, I think it's better if I don't ever see her again. She's always hated me, and said as much the last time we talked. So... yeah.
Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your post for my own personal sob story. I guess I just wanted you to know that I'm feelin' your frustration here. *hugs*
Well, good luck with the sponsorship. I'm just hoping that he doesn't get pissed off with her and this ends up biting you in the ass. If it does though, I'm here to listen. :)
thanks so much! good to know my feelings are justified and it's not just a pity party.
glad you got out from your mum. some parents are unbelieveable... it only inspires me to make sure i don't repeat the same mistakes and make my kids bitter and angry.
but then, by aiming not to be like that, are we inevitably destined to repeat them anyway?
but then, by aiming not to be like that, are we inevitably destined to repeat them anyway?
Eh, I don't think so. In my opinion, it's all in how you deal with how you were treated. If you were mistreated and never really address it, you will probably treat the kids the same. But, if you recognize it and deal with your feelings about it, and vow to never be that way, you stand a better chance of breaking the cycle, ya know?
Hey thanks. I'm glad I got out of there too. Seriously, I got to the point where I wanted one of us to die, and I started thinking in terms of "would I rather die, or go to jail". Yeah, it was baaaad.
and yeah, i think that's it... i've been coerced into it. my mum basically left when i was 5, off overseas and i saw her once again when i was 10, then when i was... 13, then 17.
then i, for some stupid reason, thought it would be good if she 'looked after me' when i was depressed, so she flew over here and moved in with me and that lasted for about a month before i moved out. then i discovered that she was staying here forever - she never told me, i saw it on her Medicare form. unbelievable.
then she got very sick (kidney failure from her diabetes... 'inspires' me to make sure my diabetes is controlled... but that's hard!) and it's been a downward spiral since. she and my dad were all guilttripping my ass for applying for her to move into a nursing home. WTF? like she's going to live in my tiny 2 bedroom townhouse with my boyfriend and 2 cats? my dad was all, "where i come from, we care for our parents until they die."
ugh. and lose my life andeverything? sucks having older/sick parents cos i'm going thru stuff that ppl don't normally do until they're at least in their 40's.
and apparently applications for immigration are more successful if a blood relative sponsors them. as my dad is divorced from my mum (her blood aunty), it was seen as being best that i sponsor her, being her first cousin. technically it's in name only as my dad is the one who is going to pay the money and put them up in his rental property, but i still had to sign papers agreeing i'd support them and everything. Jed had to sign stuff too, along the same lines.
*hugs*
thanks so much for your support. you rock.
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Yeah, I can understand the glimmer of hope that depression can fool you into seeing. I saw that when I asked my female parent to move in with me and my (then) boyfriend. She was only going to stay temporarily, until she found a job and a place to live. She moved in and began picking fights with the boyfriend the entire time, so he moved out w/in a month. I'd asked her not to smoke in the house (because I'm uber sensitive to ciggy smoke), but that shit stopped about two months in. She badgered me and went back to making me feel bad about myself. I got seriously suicidal and came to the realization that she was extremely toxic and that for my own sake, I HAD to move out. So I basically left all my shit there and moved out. gr
And I got blessed out by my male parent about that too. He told me that I would need to care for my mother in her old age. I'm like, "dude, I plan on doing that when she needs it. Right now, she's in her 50's and still quite capable of working. I'll care and support her when she's aged and needs support. I won't do it just because she doesn't want to work." Nowadays, I think it's better if I don't ever see her again. She's always hated me, and said as much the last time we talked. So... yeah.
Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your post for my own personal sob story. I guess I just wanted you to know that I'm feelin' your frustration here. *hugs*
Well, good luck with the sponsorship. I'm just hoping that he doesn't get pissed off with her and this ends up biting you in the ass. If it does though, I'm here to listen. :)
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glad you got out from your mum. some parents are unbelieveable... it only inspires me to make sure i don't repeat the same mistakes and make my kids bitter and angry.
but then, by aiming not to be like that, are we inevitably destined to repeat them anyway?
who knows.
Reply
Eh, I don't think so. In my opinion, it's all in how you deal with how you were treated. If you were mistreated and never really address it, you will probably treat the kids the same. But, if you recognize it and deal with your feelings about it, and vow to never be that way, you stand a better chance of breaking the cycle, ya know?
Hey thanks. I'm glad I got out of there too. Seriously, I got to the point where I wanted one of us to die, and I started thinking in terms of "would I rather die, or go to jail". Yeah, it was baaaad.
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