Babes in Toyalnd!
xposted to Howtheylooknow
To bring back childhood memorys I watched this movie (Which you can find on Starz OnDemand) 'Babes in Toyland'. I hadn't seen this movie since the early 90's and forgot how awesomely bad this movie is. It was also the source of many nightmares as a child but that's another story. If you've never seen it, I put a small review from badmovies.org because it was just too funny.
Drew Barrymore played the 11 year old heroine from Ohio, Lisa Piper. It was funny to watch her imagining her on the sets when the camera wasn't rolling smoking joints and drinking, things she was known for doing at that age. Also fun to watch was that she couldn't get through a lot of her lines without cracking a smile, the horrible dubbing, and the singing voice that is obviously not hers.
Keanu Reeves played Jack B. Nimble Jr.
Jill Schoelen played Mary Contrary (of how does your garden grow fame). Time was not particually good to Jill Schoelen...
Googy Gress (yes you read that right) played the lovable and somewhat creepy Georgy Porgy
Richard Mulligan played the evil, bowling ball dwelling Barnaby Barnicle. Richard Mulligan died in September of 2000.
Pat Morita played the Toymaster/Santa seen here with the creature who featured in many a childhood nightmare, Trollog. Pat Morita of 'Mr. Miyagi' fame, died in November 2005.
Review from badmovies.org:
Adaptation of "The Wizard of Oz." Except it's set in Ohio, which for some reason the natives spell O-E-I-O. After being thrown from her sister's boyfriend's cheap 4X4 and slamming into a tree the young heroine finds herself in Toyland. Now this is a magical place, it's a mystical place, with teddy bear policemen and a horrible public transit system. Cars are community property, if you need one you hop in and take it. The main characters never had a problem getting wheels, but I'd bet stranded field mice had some very unmagical things to say at times. Lisa doesn't have a clue about fixing that problem, but she does stop Mary from getting hitched to Barnaby. (He holds the lien on Hubbard's dwelling.) That pretty much annoys the bad guy, so much he takes to calling her "Cinci-whatski," vice the much easier "Lisa." Barnaby is plotting to take over Toyland, first by framing Jack for a cookie theft at the factory and then stealing the Toymaster's flask of concentrated evil. Why in the heck would you keep concentrated evil lying around anyway? Is there some law it can't be destroyed? (Conservation of evil? I dunno.) The regiment of Toy Soldiers are capable of stopping the rampaging Trolls, but only if Lisa can become a child and believe once more. Steel yourself to watch countless people in outfits like one is treated to at small town fairs and the musical numbers. Oh the songs, especially the crooning salute to Cincinnati.
Things I learned From This Movie
1. If an electric pole is knocked down it only takes out the phones.
2. Mean people live in bowling balls.
3. Everyone who works in a bakery wears roller skates.
4. If you can't pay the rent in cash the bank will take kids.
5. Not being able to blink is a serious problem when you only have one eye.
6. People from Cincinnati are immune to poison gas.
7. Concentrated evil should be stored in an appropriate container, specifically not something glass.
8. Teddy bears are not cut out for riot control.
9. Wedding vows should include the phrase "Give him a lot of fun." on general principle.
10.Santa is a little Japanese man.
To bring back childhood memorys I watched this movie (Which you can find on Starz OnDemand) 'Babes in Toyland'. I hadn't seen this movie since the early 90's and forgot how awesomely bad this movie is. It was also the source of many nightmares as a child but that's another story. If you've never seen it, I put a small review from badmovies.org because it was just too funny.
Drew Barrymore played the 11 year old heroine from Ohio, Lisa Piper. It was funny to watch her imagining her on the sets when the camera wasn't rolling smoking joints and drinking, things she was known for doing at that age. Also fun to watch was that she couldn't get through a lot of her lines without cracking a smile, the horrible dubbing, and the singing voice that is obviously not hers.
Keanu Reeves played Jack B. Nimble Jr.
Jill Schoelen played Mary Contrary (of how does your garden grow fame). Time was not particually good to Jill Schoelen...
Googy Gress (yes you read that right) played the lovable and somewhat creepy Georgy Porgy
Richard Mulligan played the evil, bowling ball dwelling Barnaby Barnicle. Richard Mulligan died in September of 2000.
Pat Morita played the Toymaster/Santa seen here with the creature who featured in many a childhood nightmare, Trollog. Pat Morita of 'Mr. Miyagi' fame, died in November 2005.
Review from badmovies.org:
Adaptation of "The Wizard of Oz." Except it's set in Ohio, which for some reason the natives spell O-E-I-O. After being thrown from her sister's boyfriend's cheap 4X4 and slamming into a tree the young heroine finds herself in Toyland. Now this is a magical place, it's a mystical place, with teddy bear policemen and a horrible public transit system. Cars are community property, if you need one you hop in and take it. The main characters never had a problem getting wheels, but I'd bet stranded field mice had some very unmagical things to say at times. Lisa doesn't have a clue about fixing that problem, but she does stop Mary from getting hitched to Barnaby. (He holds the lien on Hubbard's dwelling.) That pretty much annoys the bad guy, so much he takes to calling her "Cinci-whatski," vice the much easier "Lisa." Barnaby is plotting to take over Toyland, first by framing Jack for a cookie theft at the factory and then stealing the Toymaster's flask of concentrated evil. Why in the heck would you keep concentrated evil lying around anyway? Is there some law it can't be destroyed? (Conservation of evil? I dunno.) The regiment of Toy Soldiers are capable of stopping the rampaging Trolls, but only if Lisa can become a child and believe once more. Steel yourself to watch countless people in outfits like one is treated to at small town fairs and the musical numbers. Oh the songs, especially the crooning salute to Cincinnati.
Things I learned From This Movie
1. If an electric pole is knocked down it only takes out the phones.
2. Mean people live in bowling balls.
3. Everyone who works in a bakery wears roller skates.
4. If you can't pay the rent in cash the bank will take kids.
5. Not being able to blink is a serious problem when you only have one eye.
6. People from Cincinnati are immune to poison gas.
7. Concentrated evil should be stored in an appropriate container, specifically not something glass.
8. Teddy bears are not cut out for riot control.
9. Wedding vows should include the phrase "Give him a lot of fun." on general principle.
10.Santa is a little Japanese man.