(no subject)
I had my theater final today... it was my scene. And at the point where my character, Sooze, reaches her breaking point and explodes... Melissa seemed to explode with her. My whole body started shaking, I was in an emotional trance... I couldn't get out. It was by far one of the strangest emotions I have ever felt, yet it also was comforting and familiar. When have I felt this before? The answer still escapes me.
***
I started writing a short story a couple days ago. It is partly true. It is also very hard to write, but something keeps pulling me to make it to the end. I have only written three pages... with each finished page I put my pen down, and go to sleep. One word at a time, just one word at a time. I feel a strong need to finish this story as if something miraculous, or some strange realization will come with the finish. That is probably wishful thinking.
***
I try to figure people out way too much.
***
It is most likely an effort to keep me from getting hurt. If I figure them out first, they will not be able to hurt me. Corrupt thinking, but strangely it gets me through life.
***
I think I have made someone feel very un-confident. That isn't good. They had little to begin with. I need to give it back some how. All my previous plans have failed.
***
Fuck inhibitions.
***
I can feel myself slipping away. But I can't hold on. There is nothing to grab onto.
***
Today my knee started to hurt again. I haven't had this amount of pain in my knee since my soccer days. I continue to walk on it. I should wrap it up, but I won't.
***
People judge me when they look at me. Here is my stereotype: stuck-up, stupid, ditzy blonde. Bought and paid for. I purchased it at the store. I tried to return it, but they wouldn't take it back... I am over the 30 day limit. They must be really surprised when they get to know me. Just one more hurdle to jump.
***
I want a coton de tulear... it is a dog... and it is anywhere from $1200-$2400... better start saving now.
***
Christmas is coming soon, but I don't think you need me to tell you that. I need to keep telling myself that. I don't have any christmas spirit, and any hint of excitement is drowned out by every other emotion.
***
The end.
***
I started writing a short story a couple days ago. It is partly true. It is also very hard to write, but something keeps pulling me to make it to the end. I have only written three pages... with each finished page I put my pen down, and go to sleep. One word at a time, just one word at a time. I feel a strong need to finish this story as if something miraculous, or some strange realization will come with the finish. That is probably wishful thinking.
***
I try to figure people out way too much.
***
It is most likely an effort to keep me from getting hurt. If I figure them out first, they will not be able to hurt me. Corrupt thinking, but strangely it gets me through life.
***
I think I have made someone feel very un-confident. That isn't good. They had little to begin with. I need to give it back some how. All my previous plans have failed.
***
Fuck inhibitions.
***
I can feel myself slipping away. But I can't hold on. There is nothing to grab onto.
***
Today my knee started to hurt again. I haven't had this amount of pain in my knee since my soccer days. I continue to walk on it. I should wrap it up, but I won't.
***
People judge me when they look at me. Here is my stereotype: stuck-up, stupid, ditzy blonde. Bought and paid for. I purchased it at the store. I tried to return it, but they wouldn't take it back... I am over the 30 day limit. They must be really surprised when they get to know me. Just one more hurdle to jump.
***
I want a coton de tulear... it is a dog... and it is anywhere from $1200-$2400... better start saving now.
***
Christmas is coming soon, but I don't think you need me to tell you that. I need to keep telling myself that. I don't have any christmas spirit, and any hint of excitement is drowned out by every other emotion.
***
The end.