If you don't want to say anything at all, I'm happy wondering
I awoke with a start at 4am after a very interesting dream. My dreams are just a little too real; I often have to really consider whether or not they're imagined or if they happened. I had to write it down, some how the only new years resolution I've managed to even do at all, though another was to keep in better contact with my friends (new and old), and it looks like I'll HAVE to do that since I'm moving so far away.
So, here's the dream. I don't know what sparked it; maybe talking to Court so much and reading something she wrote planted themselves in my brain and had a little party. Either way, it's clearly not real, and I'm running on five broken hours of sleep, so maybe it's not as eloquent and profound as I initially thought it was. Cut me a break:
::In a wooded area, outside a well lit house with Courtney and another female. The strain between the other girl and I is palpable but we put our disdain aside because we're finally mature enough to realize that it's not about us. I don't immediately know what's wrong or why we're there, but I'm sad and I feel it heavily emanating from Courtney. She needs us, but I don't know why.
I walk away to get something, really to escape the intensity of the moment, but they don't have to know that. I'm lured back after an unknown amount of time and when I return, whatever we've been waiting for has obviously happened. Though I still don't know what it is. This faceless girl is sitting a distance away from Court, while Court's laying on the ground, staring blankly at the starry night sky.
"What happened? Why are you over here?" I'm angry, speaking in harsh, muted tones. "I don't know what she wants me to do," The strange girl scoffs. In reality I know none of Court's friends would ever be this way; who is this girl?
I quickly make my way over to Courtney. Our souls are old, but we still look and feel so young. I know better than to tell her it's going to be okay, because whatever happened and I don't think I'll ever know what it is, her life will never be the same. So I lay next to her and put my hand on hers, staring into the cool starry night. I can't see my breath but I wish, I'd feel better, if I could.
Somehow I know it's autumn. Laying there with her, two monkeys/chimps rush over to us and dance and clap around. We sit up, confused and a little frightened. Playfully I toss a branch at each of them, unsure of what else to do, and they celebrate away. A third appears from no where, but it's clear he just wants the same thing.
We all just want to be loved. To have someone hold us in the middle of a trying time and whisper in our ear just to keep us grounded, make us feel like we're not the only sad soul in the universe. Because if they didn't we're so sure we'd float away, but we just don't know where we'd go, if we'd come back, or if we'd even want to.::
I think that whole dream/feeling was to get to the last part, understanding that we all want the same thing. I don't know. It's a little weird. And I'm sleepy, but I have a big day planned for myself. One more half hour, please?
So, here's the dream. I don't know what sparked it; maybe talking to Court so much and reading something she wrote planted themselves in my brain and had a little party. Either way, it's clearly not real, and I'm running on five broken hours of sleep, so maybe it's not as eloquent and profound as I initially thought it was. Cut me a break:
::In a wooded area, outside a well lit house with Courtney and another female. The strain between the other girl and I is palpable but we put our disdain aside because we're finally mature enough to realize that it's not about us. I don't immediately know what's wrong or why we're there, but I'm sad and I feel it heavily emanating from Courtney. She needs us, but I don't know why.
I walk away to get something, really to escape the intensity of the moment, but they don't have to know that. I'm lured back after an unknown amount of time and when I return, whatever we've been waiting for has obviously happened. Though I still don't know what it is. This faceless girl is sitting a distance away from Court, while Court's laying on the ground, staring blankly at the starry night sky.
"What happened? Why are you over here?" I'm angry, speaking in harsh, muted tones. "I don't know what she wants me to do," The strange girl scoffs. In reality I know none of Court's friends would ever be this way; who is this girl?
I quickly make my way over to Courtney. Our souls are old, but we still look and feel so young. I know better than to tell her it's going to be okay, because whatever happened and I don't think I'll ever know what it is, her life will never be the same. So I lay next to her and put my hand on hers, staring into the cool starry night. I can't see my breath but I wish, I'd feel better, if I could.
Somehow I know it's autumn. Laying there with her, two monkeys/chimps rush over to us and dance and clap around. We sit up, confused and a little frightened. Playfully I toss a branch at each of them, unsure of what else to do, and they celebrate away. A third appears from no where, but it's clear he just wants the same thing.
We all just want to be loved. To have someone hold us in the middle of a trying time and whisper in our ear just to keep us grounded, make us feel like we're not the only sad soul in the universe. Because if they didn't we're so sure we'd float away, but we just don't know where we'd go, if we'd come back, or if we'd even want to.::
I think that whole dream/feeling was to get to the last part, understanding that we all want the same thing. I don't know. It's a little weird. And I'm sleepy, but I have a big day planned for myself. One more half hour, please?