It's not that you don't have anything to do with me, but the things you've done made me feel that way. I WAS HURT ERIK. Really badly actually. Don't say you called a million times, you called once, but I should have called back. I just didn't know what to say. And what other way COULD they be? Uhhh, back to normal? Just because I'm with HIM doesn't mean I love YOU any less... I actually never have.
I know you were hurt. You have every right to be. And I apologized more than once, and I never lied to you. But friends don't just blow things off and let them fester like we have. If you need to tell me something, tell me. If you need to stay away from me, tell me. If you're hurt, tell me. All I ask for is for you to tell me the truth. And for awhile there, you lied to me, too.
And I don't care that you're with HIM. He doesn't matter to me, not anymore, and I'm sorry that I jeoparidized our relationship over something so childish and fruitless.
Things will never be back to normal. This has gone on way too long for that. I don't hate you. But the two of you have taxed me for so long--- worrying about you, caring about you, wondering what you're thinking ---that I don't know if I even want things to be back to normal.
For awhile there, I thought that I never mattered to you. And I don't know if I can get over that so easily.
I'm done talking to you via-livejournal. It's dumb. If you want to see me you know how to get ahold of me... if that IS what you want, maybe not. Either way, I always had fun of you and will always love you and your family. I miss the pot smoking, movies, coffee and cream runs, staying up till all hours, and long talks we used to share. Maybe you're right and it HAS gone too far, so be it. Goodluck with all you do, love always, K
...and to tell you the truth.
I fucking hate it.
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Seeing you, so different yet so much the same, and knowing that I no longer had anything to do with you, was tougher for me than you know.
I never thought things would be this way, either. But then again, what other way could they be?
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Don't say you called a million times, you called once, but I should have called back. I just didn't know what to say.
And what other way COULD they be? Uhhh, back to normal? Just because I'm with HIM doesn't mean I love YOU any less...
I actually never have.
Reply
And I don't care that you're with HIM. He doesn't matter to me, not anymore, and I'm sorry that I jeoparidized our relationship over something so childish and fruitless.
Things will never be back to normal. This has gone on way too long for that. I don't hate you. But the two of you have taxed me for so long--- worrying about you, caring about you, wondering what you're thinking ---that I don't know if I even want things to be back to normal.
For awhile there, I thought that I never mattered to you. And I don't know if I can get over that so easily.
I was hurt, too.
Reply
If you want to see me you know how to get ahold of me...
if that IS what you want,
maybe not.
Either way, I always had fun of you and will always love you and your family. I miss the pot smoking, movies, coffee and cream runs, staying up till all hours, and long talks we used to share.
Maybe you're right and it HAS gone too far, so be it.
Goodluck with all you do,
love always,
K
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