(no subject)
gosh...
I can't get into the studying mode.
Yes im stressed out and all!!
believe me, if i can tear my hair out to make myself feel better, i will do it.
but it wouldn't look good, so yeah.
i hate feeling like this
like my own expectations of myself is ruining my life, y'know?
everytime i start studying, i will ask myself "uh oh, what if i don't get into the director's list?"
then i will get so bloody stressed out and feel like crying.
it's always this stupid expectations thing that sucks
and the worst expectations is not from others
it's from myself
and it's so...irritating!
But i have been doing my daily devotions faithfully
Devotions is a Christian daily book "to help make your right choices" - took this from the back of the book
and I realized alot of things.
like 'ask and you will receive, submit to His will and trust' and all
And I'm not gonna be stressed about getting into the director's list or not!
because I asked for it and whether I receive it or not, it's not up to me!
so i'm just gonna study and do my best. that's the only thing i can do!
And let those stupid expectations go conk themselves!
not gonna let it bother me anymore because they are so evil
actually i dont know whats conk but it sounds pretty rude! hahaha!
And i'm so distracted during studying
I made trash boxes from recycled paper
drew a flower using a compass and colouring it
took pictures with my phone of random things
ok lah back to studying (as it i started studying)
I can't get into the studying mode.
Yes im stressed out and all!!
believe me, if i can tear my hair out to make myself feel better, i will do it.
but it wouldn't look good, so yeah.
i hate feeling like this
like my own expectations of myself is ruining my life, y'know?
everytime i start studying, i will ask myself "uh oh, what if i don't get into the director's list?"
then i will get so bloody stressed out and feel like crying.
it's always this stupid expectations thing that sucks
and the worst expectations is not from others
it's from myself
and it's so...irritating!
But i have been doing my daily devotions faithfully
Devotions is a Christian daily book "to help make your right choices" - took this from the back of the book
and I realized alot of things.
like 'ask and you will receive, submit to His will and trust' and all
And I'm not gonna be stressed about getting into the director's list or not!
because I asked for it and whether I receive it or not, it's not up to me!
so i'm just gonna study and do my best. that's the only thing i can do!
And let those stupid expectations go conk themselves!
not gonna let it bother me anymore because they are so evil
actually i dont know whats conk but it sounds pretty rude! hahaha!
And i'm so distracted during studying
I made trash boxes from recycled paper
drew a flower using a compass and colouring it
took pictures with my phone of random things
ok lah back to studying (as it i started studying)