Retirement
It's hard being a superhero in a small town. Not much crime and everyone knows your secret identity. Guess that's why so many heroes choose small towns to retire. The original Flyingmouseman bought a small place on the upper Hudson. His retirement community never sees anything worse than misplaced dentures. Green Lamppost settled down on a farm in Iowa. No one's even seen graffiti within a hundred miles of his place. Me, I decided to take a demotion.
Most superheros like living in big cities. New York's down right crowded. L.A.'s almost as bad. Surprisingly there's not that many in Mexico City, but I could never get the hang of Spanish. Super villains seem to like big cities too. Must be the dinner theater.
So unless you are one of the mega-powers, you end having to fight for your few blocks of territory for good or ill. Try explaining to Outstandingman that no you don't need his help, thank you very much. 'Course it helps if you stick to the smaller crimes. Outstandingman has all the time in the world for mega-villains trying to drill to the center of the Earth but a standard mugging/rape and he'll fly right by. That's where the guys like me have their bread and butter.
For 18 years, I made sure that a 32-block area in Brooklyn was safe to walk at night. It wasn't easy. New young heroes came in every few months trying to prove they could keep the streets safer than me. It got so old ladies had their choice of who to walk them across the avenue. Finally age began to take its toll and the younger guys began muscling me out. Rather than give up directly, I decided to do something different. I held try-outs.
I called the town gossip (the Human Bonfire) and told him to spread the word; I was going to retire. Anyone who wanted my territory was welcome to try out. I could almost hear the S.O.B. giggle. But he said sure and spread the word like wild fire. ('Scuse the pun.)
Seventeen wanna-be heroes, thirty-two villainous henchmen and two honest-to-goodness villains showed up. Naturally, there was a brawl. It was even odds, so only one of the villains got away. The hero I picked wasn't there. She had staked out the place, called the police when it looked like trouble and then brought in the one escaped villain. That was the sort of hero I knew who would keep my territory safe. So I does a background check, decides she's good, and gives her the keys to my secret hideout. She'd already found it.
What I didn't tell her was that I was going for larger territory. That night I packed my bags for the mid-west.
Most superheros like living in big cities. New York's down right crowded. L.A.'s almost as bad. Surprisingly there's not that many in Mexico City, but I could never get the hang of Spanish. Super villains seem to like big cities too. Must be the dinner theater.
So unless you are one of the mega-powers, you end having to fight for your few blocks of territory for good or ill. Try explaining to Outstandingman that no you don't need his help, thank you very much. 'Course it helps if you stick to the smaller crimes. Outstandingman has all the time in the world for mega-villains trying to drill to the center of the Earth but a standard mugging/rape and he'll fly right by. That's where the guys like me have their bread and butter.
For 18 years, I made sure that a 32-block area in Brooklyn was safe to walk at night. It wasn't easy. New young heroes came in every few months trying to prove they could keep the streets safer than me. It got so old ladies had their choice of who to walk them across the avenue. Finally age began to take its toll and the younger guys began muscling me out. Rather than give up directly, I decided to do something different. I held try-outs.
I called the town gossip (the Human Bonfire) and told him to spread the word; I was going to retire. Anyone who wanted my territory was welcome to try out. I could almost hear the S.O.B. giggle. But he said sure and spread the word like wild fire. ('Scuse the pun.)
Seventeen wanna-be heroes, thirty-two villainous henchmen and two honest-to-goodness villains showed up. Naturally, there was a brawl. It was even odds, so only one of the villains got away. The hero I picked wasn't there. She had staked out the place, called the police when it looked like trouble and then brought in the one escaped villain. That was the sort of hero I knew who would keep my territory safe. So I does a background check, decides she's good, and gives her the keys to my secret hideout. She'd already found it.
What I didn't tell her was that I was going for larger territory. That night I packed my bags for the mid-west.