(no subject)
can someone please help me!!! im losing my mind!!! i am not sure whether or not to play basketball. i hate it. i hate it with a passion. the coach always makes me feel like crap and i get very depressed during basketball season. i hate! but im scared that if i don't play ill have nothing to do after school. ill sit home bored out of my mind like i am now and just sit like a lump and become lazy. so i have no idea what to do!! i know if i play bball ill regret playing it and if i don't play than ill regret not playing so whatever i do its a no win sitaution. but i can't decide on my own i thinking about quiting since 10th grade but i never did cause im to scared. i told my mom my sitaution and she said all i need is confidence, it sounds easier than it really is how the fuck do i get confidence do i just wake up one morning and have it no ill very be confident cause im a shy mother fucker and i hate it!! i hate being shy i miss so many opoprtinties cause im to scared im a fuckin senior and im to scared to order my own food when i got out to eat what is wrong me!!!!! grrr sometimes i just really hate myself, i always make a big deal out of everything but i can't help. i wrote a journal response in the begining of the school year like around aug. saying how this year im not gunna care about what other people think but its only been one month and i already fucked that up so i guess im just a helpless cause no one can fix me and i can't fix myself.
if anyone has any input about the bball tell me cause i don't know what to do
if anyone has any input about the bball tell me cause i don't know what to do