Its Been A While
Ok so where to begin? Its been about two (2) months or so since my last real Live Journal up date. Much longer than I expected to be away from it.
I stopped posting because for a while there I was in a real bad place, mentally and it goes with out saying emotionally as well. In fact it was so bad it became a physical thing. More on that later. So I dropped off the Live Journal for a while mostly because it was too hard to keep on hearing about other peoples lives and not being a part of them. I was too hard to know that all of these people that I know are out there doing al of this stuff that I will never be a part of. Even though I know that for the most part most of you were just a phone call away, or a Live Journal post away or whatever I still knew that I was missing out on all of this stuff and I was never going to get all of this lost time back.
So it became to much to keep up on everyone else’s life and to know that I was stuck here. So I thought that if I dropped off the Live Journal for a while it would make things some better. Well that was not quite the case in fact it actually made things worse. Because what I had done without actually realizing it at the time was cut myself off from the last real support that I had left. So shortly after my last post I went and got really drunk. I mean really, really drunk and that night my step-father and I got into it big and ugly. This was worse than all the times before that we had gotten into it. And this time it was my doing and not his. So some words were said, some things were thrown and more than a little of my own blood was lost, by my own hand.
You see Chris and Jen Morgan and a couple of the others back in Rohnert Park / Santa Rosa warned me about coming up here. Chris told me that he had a real bad feeling that this place would be the death of me. I did not realize how scary correct his prediction would be. You see twice this state has tried to kill me. Once it was not by my choice. I really did not want to go and die that night and I am sure that it was only by luck that I did not die that night. The second time this most recent time I was all set and ready to go. Hell I had even started. There I was bleeding from multiple lacerations and blind stumbling drunk walking down the back roads of Gig Harbor just waiting to either be picked up by a friend or hid by a truck either would have done.
So that was then. My arm has healed up nicely, you can hardly even see the scars anymore. My step-father and I are back to our normal I don’t talk to you, you don’t talk to me way of doing things. And I am in a much better place than I was about a month ago. Yeah it was a month or so ago that all of that went down. So what has been going on other than that?
Well last quarter ended with two (2) B’s and one (1) A, the B’s were in my TPSYCH 312 (Abnormal Child Psychology) and in TIBCUS 464 (Northwest Native American Cultures) and the A was in my TCXG 373 (Introduction To Writing Poetry). This quarter my last quarter I am taking TIBCUS 464 (Southwest Native American Culture) TESC 327 (Earth Histories) TCSIG 451 (The Enlightenment) and T-EDU 490 (Service Learning)
Adam Bower came up and hung out for a weekend a couple of weeks back when he was on this way up to Vancouver Canada. It did me more good than I think he will ever know to have him come up here even if it was for only a few days. It was a great time. I am working again this time for a company called R.G.I.S. as an auditor, yes the guy who hates math is a bean counter. I am also doing my forty (40) hour teaching internship now so that I can at some point get into my Education Masters program. Also I am in the process of getting ready to move out of Washington for what will hopefully be once and for all and move down to Santa Rosa and throw my lot in with the Crew down there. Oh and on top of all of this I am still trying to maintain a social life and a sex life. The sex life might be mostly with myself be hey you got to keep hope alive some how right? On a more serious note I did finally find a girl up here. But we will see how things go.
Anyway that’s for the most part been the last two (2) months or so. So now I am off to go and watch some porn and then get ready to go out.
Later
Satan
I stopped posting because for a while there I was in a real bad place, mentally and it goes with out saying emotionally as well. In fact it was so bad it became a physical thing. More on that later. So I dropped off the Live Journal for a while mostly because it was too hard to keep on hearing about other peoples lives and not being a part of them. I was too hard to know that all of these people that I know are out there doing al of this stuff that I will never be a part of. Even though I know that for the most part most of you were just a phone call away, or a Live Journal post away or whatever I still knew that I was missing out on all of this stuff and I was never going to get all of this lost time back.
So it became to much to keep up on everyone else’s life and to know that I was stuck here. So I thought that if I dropped off the Live Journal for a while it would make things some better. Well that was not quite the case in fact it actually made things worse. Because what I had done without actually realizing it at the time was cut myself off from the last real support that I had left. So shortly after my last post I went and got really drunk. I mean really, really drunk and that night my step-father and I got into it big and ugly. This was worse than all the times before that we had gotten into it. And this time it was my doing and not his. So some words were said, some things were thrown and more than a little of my own blood was lost, by my own hand.
You see Chris and Jen Morgan and a couple of the others back in Rohnert Park / Santa Rosa warned me about coming up here. Chris told me that he had a real bad feeling that this place would be the death of me. I did not realize how scary correct his prediction would be. You see twice this state has tried to kill me. Once it was not by my choice. I really did not want to go and die that night and I am sure that it was only by luck that I did not die that night. The second time this most recent time I was all set and ready to go. Hell I had even started. There I was bleeding from multiple lacerations and blind stumbling drunk walking down the back roads of Gig Harbor just waiting to either be picked up by a friend or hid by a truck either would have done.
So that was then. My arm has healed up nicely, you can hardly even see the scars anymore. My step-father and I are back to our normal I don’t talk to you, you don’t talk to me way of doing things. And I am in a much better place than I was about a month ago. Yeah it was a month or so ago that all of that went down. So what has been going on other than that?
Well last quarter ended with two (2) B’s and one (1) A, the B’s were in my TPSYCH 312 (Abnormal Child Psychology) and in TIBCUS 464 (Northwest Native American Cultures) and the A was in my TCXG 373 (Introduction To Writing Poetry). This quarter my last quarter I am taking TIBCUS 464 (Southwest Native American Culture) TESC 327 (Earth Histories) TCSIG 451 (The Enlightenment) and T-EDU 490 (Service Learning)
Adam Bower came up and hung out for a weekend a couple of weeks back when he was on this way up to Vancouver Canada. It did me more good than I think he will ever know to have him come up here even if it was for only a few days. It was a great time. I am working again this time for a company called R.G.I.S. as an auditor, yes the guy who hates math is a bean counter. I am also doing my forty (40) hour teaching internship now so that I can at some point get into my Education Masters program. Also I am in the process of getting ready to move out of Washington for what will hopefully be once and for all and move down to Santa Rosa and throw my lot in with the Crew down there. Oh and on top of all of this I am still trying to maintain a social life and a sex life. The sex life might be mostly with myself be hey you got to keep hope alive some how right? On a more serious note I did finally find a girl up here. But we will see how things go.
Anyway that’s for the most part been the last two (2) months or so. So now I am off to go and watch some porn and then get ready to go out.
Later
Satan