Nobody s supposed to be this tired

[rise_07]

Ok, so now my mom even says i'm messed up as far as sleeping goes. I can sleep 2 hours or i could sleep twelve hours and i'm still exhausted. I've tried everything from Ambien to lots of caffeine. So I have to have tests(tests meaning needles) to figure this thing out. Now, I already have a blood problem and have to get blood drawn around once every three months because I have too many white blood cells and they are trying to figure out why. I go to the doctor around every two-four months for asthma. I go to the orthodontist every month. Now frankly, I'm sick of doctors. Seeing how many white blood cells I have doesn't change the fact that I have them so they aren't helping me or hurting me in anyway. It's pretty much pointless. All they tell me is "You have too many white blood cells meaning there is a good chance your body is fighting some sort of internal infection, but we can't figure out what it is. You could have a terminal illness and die tomorrow but we just don't know. We just know that you have too many white blood cells and something must be wrong with you somewhere." I honestly wish they would just tell me a lie rather than tell me that. I mean, it's honestly pointless, completely and utterly pointless. I mean...it's not like I sit around now afraid of dying or anything, I mean...honestly what are the chances that I'm going to die tomorrow, I feel fine....so I know that it is really more bullshit than anything so I guess I don't really care. I guess I just don't like someone telling me that something is wrong with me and not being able to tell me what it is. Owel, I let it get to me more than it should I suppose...I really just ignore them now b/c I don't care as much now. But I will be very happy if they can cure the sleepiness thing. I seriously don't know how I get that tired. Anybody who has a class with me besides Adv. Acting can tell you how hard it is for me to stay awake. And you would think that if I slept through one class that I would be really awake in the next class, but that is simply not the case. It's not the case at all....I'll go right to sleep anyway. It's even worse on test days, b/c it's always quiet and nobody is moving or talking and there is absolutely nothing to keep me awake. This is why I do not do well on tests, I'll always do really well on the first page or so....but then i'll fall asleep in the middle of it and then when somethign wakes me up, like the teacher yelling "five more minutes" i jot down as many answers as I can as fast as I can and just try to finish. And that ladies and gentlemen is how I take tests now a day. And I am giving you people a mission. I am not allowed to have regular soda anymore, I can only have diet b/c I need the caffeine but not all the added sugar...so mom has given me a list of foods I shouldn't eat anymore b/c she said that there is a really good chance that the whole tired thing has something to do with my bloodsugar. So i am going to go do some homewirk while I am awake. (i should be awake, I took a four hour nap today) yet, I am starting to get sleepy again so I need to get things done fast. Darn, I didn't even get to tell about how much I hate asthma and how I had almost gone a month without an attack, and WHAM! But, I'll save that for another day, it's not that exciting it's just that basically I'd gone almost an entire month with no wheezing and I had two attacks this previous week...the worst part is that they usually come in series, so i'll probably have a few more. blek, but who cares...it's something you learn to live with and not dwell on b/c you can't do anything about it. ttyl. I'm out for good this time.

oh and this weekend was absolutely wonderful b/c I got to hang out with the fab five/sexy six :):):):)

~*Kelzleez*~