I did the dumbest thing today. im sorry. you don't have to forgive me, i wouldn't forgive you.
Im dumb.
We all knew that.
But today was bad.
I knew I would get mad if I read your message inbox. but i couldn't help myself. I'm curious, nosey...dumb.
So, you told me she liked and I got mad. I KNOW I shouldn't have. you can't help it if someone likes you. but you can encourage it. sleep in the same bed at a party? you could have slept on the floor. it would have been respectful to your girlfriend.
But I never would have known in the first place. if i wasn't dumb. but i am. and now i know. and now im sad. but it IS my own fault.
I love you and know it. Being in love with someone and having that person KNOW that you could NEVER leave them makes you SO vulnerable.
You could do ANYTHING and I would never leave. i would always love you. and i do love you. ALWAYS. I know you love me. you do the nicest things. but you do some pretty not so nice things. but of course...it all goes back to me being dumb.
I knew I shouldn't have read your messages. I knew it would kill me inside to see all the girls that want to get in your pants. but i did...and now its been done...and i can't turn back time. But if i could i would. Just to hide pure fact and truth from myself. I hate myself for doing this. I really do.
If you're mad at me about this. I understand. I would be FURIOUS if you went through my messages. NOT because I have things to hide but b/c it's my own private-ness. I suck at staying out of other peoples business. But I cant help it. I really can't.
And now Im sad...and i have no one to blame but myself.
I love you. And you know this. I would give anything in this great fucking world to be next to you right now.
FUCK MYSPACE MESSAGES
FUCK MAINE
FUCK ME
PLEASE
EDIT: I just read my horoscope...its crazy how true it can be sometimes. Keep your eyes open -- you're about to have an insight into your darling's personality that will really open up the possibilities between you two, especially if you've been feeling stuck in a rut lately.