emotions, papers, missing the sun, and eating oatmeal critters. (to sum it up)
hello there... how are you all? (ya'll? i remember the first time i said "ya'll" and meant it - that was the day i realized i was living in florida for real...and the day i realized that i was going to have to discontinue my use of the word "ya'll" before i came home or else i'd probably get punched in the face. hence, how are you all?)
it's been a rough couple of days... for those of you who don't know, my aunt noeline passed away this week. so, i spent tuesday and wednesday with my family - (my dad's side of the family)... even though i hadn't seen most of my family for a while, it was almost as though we had never not been together - we all came together and supported each other and it was weird, because it was really nice to be with all of them - even though we were not there for a happy occaision. my aunt was a very loved person - as the priest said at the funeral, if you met noeline - you were her friend. hundreds of people came to the wake, and every person there was affected by her in one way or another. the wide range of people who came - her doctor, the lunch ladies from the school she worked at, her pharmacist at eckerd... everyone she met, she made an impression on. she had a great sense of humor, and she was one of the most down to earth people i've ever met. everyone there yesterday had been a part of her life - and she was a big part of all of ours. it's so hard to understand that she's gone, and so easy to see how much she'll be missed. when we were at her house between the two wakes, her two best friends had taken care of all of the food... everything was done perfectly, just like she would have done it. it was weird, because when something like this happens there are moments of sadness and then there are lighter moments. and in those lighter moments, i couldn't help but feel like she was there - making jokes and laughing with all of us. when someone who was such a great presense leaves you, it's hard to feel like they are really gone. she was so full of life that it's hard to not imagine that she is still there, enjoying the company of her friends and family. funerals suck for that reason - everyone that the person loved and would want to be there is there, but that person can't enjoy the company of all those people. at the lunch yesterday, i couldn't help but think how much she would have loved being there... she would have gone from table to table, talking to everyone and making us laugh. that's how she was - always making everyone feel comfortable ... always making everyone smile.
what i learned at the wake and the funeral is that no matter what, family is family - and that's something that can't be compromised. and i learned that sometimes what you really need is to be with people who completely understand what you're feeling - people who will go through the happier moments with you and then the sad ones... people who you can cry with. sometimes it's just good to let yourself cry.
...
today is cold - the clouds mixed with the cool wind were begging me to put on a sweatshirt, so i did. and now i'm warm... but where did the sun go! it's been so friendly lately!
tonight is david's party, wherein we all have to dress like obscure movie characters. because i have a black dress that everyone (and by everyone i mean randie) has been obsessed with me wearing, i plan to wear it (to appease.)... so i think i'm going to flip my hair out and go as julia gulia (okay, her name was julia sullivan, and she named robbie, so she was julia hart - but whatever. julia gulia is so fun and it's the reason that i'm not ever going to marry anyone with the last name mauren) from the wedding singer ... i'm pretty sure that's not obscure, but i do get to flip my hair out, so it's all good.
housing struggles ensue... our current focus is to get a six person suite in the basement. yes, this will make us basementdwellers (yes that is one word, in my world) ... and i understand that batcave/hermit/troll jokes will be hard to resist - so don't even try to resist. if you want to refer to my room as the batcave, go right ahead. ... because if we live in the basement, we'll get a bathroom and the laundry will be right down the hall and we'll steal flowers from the school to brighten up our basementdweller room. so...
i handed in my eternal sunshine of the spotless mind paper today. ...good feeling. now, if i could just start my 12 page research paper for the land of israel that's due monday, i'd be golden.
i wonder what the weather is like in florida today. i kind of wish i was there - just for a little bit. i'd even take the e bus and the g bus. i could listen to my clay aiken cd and then fritz could tell me to have a good day. i'd love to work in the towel window tonight.
summer is soon... i can't tell if i'm excited for it or not. chances are, i'm not. but camp might be fun and it'll be alright to have a few semi-carefree months. the sun will be nice, i know that much. ...three months is too long to be away from some of these folks, though. ...we'll work something out.
alright, i'm going to go pretend to start my paper now. there is a good chance that i might end up not doing that though, so dont' get upset if you find out i really just ate an oatmeal critter (normal people [=everyone but me] call those oatmeal cream pies) and browsed facebook.
smiles to all of you.