Strawberry Gashes
Title: Strawberry Gashes
Rating: R
Genre: Humor/General Retardation
Summery: Michael Corner and Daphne Greengrass are starcrossed lovers and if you put the two of them together you get three tits.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Characters © Rowling. Lyrics © Jack Off Jill. Also you have been warned that this fic is, in fact, CRACK and reading it may cause your eyes to bleed horribly.
Chapter One
Turn her over
A candle is lit, I see through her
Blow it out and save all her ashes for me
“DAPHNE,” bellowed Michael Corner, the renowned one boobed, lesbian, witch, punk rawker of Hogwarts, “DAPHNE. I THINK I’M IN LOVE YOU WITH!”
Chapter Two
Curse me sold her
The poison that runs it's course through her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
“MICHAEL,” shrieked Daphne Greengrass, “I LOVE YOU OODLES AND BUNCHES TOO, BUT, MICHAEL, MY HONEY-BUNNY-OOKIE-PIE! YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!”
Chapter Three
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over
"WUT."
Chapter Four
Called her over
and asked her if she was improving
She said "feels fine" it's wonderful wonderful here
“YOU HAVE A CUTTING PROBLEM!”
Chapter Five
Hex me told her
I dreamt of a devil that knew her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
“I DO NOT!” Screamed Michael as he-she sliced at her wrists with a can of pop.
Chapter Six
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over
Daphne watched Michael slit herself and felt sad.
Chapter Seven
I lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
"Some things you lose and some things you just give away"
“MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Chapter Eight
Scold me failed her
If only I'd held on tighter to her
Pale white skin that twisted and withered away from me away from me
She was really upset. So was Michael.
Chapter Nine
Watch me lose her
It's almost like losing myself
Give her my soul
and let them take somebody else get away from me
Michael then jumped off the astronomy tower and became a big pile of red goo.
Chapter Ten
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over all over me
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-” Daphne was then drowned by Wayne Hopkins, the owner of Michael’s missing boob.
Rating: R
Genre: Humor/General Retardation
Summery: Michael Corner and Daphne Greengrass are starcrossed lovers and if you put the two of them together you get three tits.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Characters © Rowling. Lyrics © Jack Off Jill. Also you have been warned that this fic is, in fact, CRACK and reading it may cause your eyes to bleed horribly.
Chapter One
Turn her over
A candle is lit, I see through her
Blow it out and save all her ashes for me
“DAPHNE,” bellowed Michael Corner, the renowned one boobed, lesbian, witch, punk rawker of Hogwarts, “DAPHNE. I THINK I’M IN LOVE YOU WITH!”
Chapter Two
Curse me sold her
The poison that runs it's course through her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
“MICHAEL,” shrieked Daphne Greengrass, “I LOVE YOU OODLES AND BUNCHES TOO, BUT, MICHAEL, MY HONEY-BUNNY-OOKIE-PIE! YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!”
Chapter Three
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over
"WUT."
Chapter Four
Called her over
and asked her if she was improving
She said "feels fine" it's wonderful wonderful here
“YOU HAVE A CUTTING PROBLEM!”
Chapter Five
Hex me told her
I dreamt of a devil that knew her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
“I DO NOT!” Screamed Michael as he-she sliced at her wrists with a can of pop.
Chapter Six
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over
Daphne watched Michael slit herself and felt sad.
Chapter Seven
I lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
"Some things you lose and some things you just give away"
“MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Chapter Eight
Scold me failed her
If only I'd held on tighter to her
Pale white skin that twisted and withered away from me away from me
She was really upset. So was Michael.
Chapter Nine
Watch me lose her
It's almost like losing myself
Give her my soul
and let them take somebody else get away from me
Michael then jumped off the astronomy tower and became a big pile of red goo.
Chapter Ten
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over all over me
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-” Daphne was then drowned by Wayne Hopkins, the owner of Michael’s missing boob.