Message in a Bottle
Dear You.
This isn't getting easier.
In fact its getting harder. Thats really my fault though. You have done nothing but be respectfull (I hate you for that, by the way). I suppose its easier for me to think that there is somehow some way for me to repair things than to admit to myself that the strongest possibility is that you just don't have feelings for me anymore. I want you to tell me what to do, how to make this better. I always look to you for my best advice. Being your friend helps me to delude myself, as long as I am able to talk to you, I can pretend that in some way you are still an intimate part of my life.
I sat next to you tonight, for the first time since you shocked me with the news, I have never felt so far away from you. The hours spent on 57 couldn't amount to the distance I felt between us.
I was so disapointed, I guess I was hoping to see the want in your eyes. I didn't even see you look at me. I'm going about this all wrong.
Every time I feel my phone vibrate, I hope its you. The dissapointment I feel when it never is astounds me every time. I was happy. I was happiest I can remember being in years. Its makes this so much harder.
I don't know what love is. I don't know why I expected you too. I don't need you to be sure of love. I would just be so happy for you to be here and care again. I will stop pushing. I promise. Promise. Just...
At least do me one more favor. Lets go sit and watch the sun set on the lake, and just put your arm around me. You don't have to say anything. Just let me pretend for one more night that things are fine.
These are all the things I would say to you if I knew how. In a way I hope you find this, although I don't know how you would.
I guess this is just my message in a bottle, to whomever recieves it.
Love? Always and Forever
lara♥
This isn't getting easier.
In fact its getting harder. Thats really my fault though. You have done nothing but be respectfull (I hate you for that, by the way). I suppose its easier for me to think that there is somehow some way for me to repair things than to admit to myself that the strongest possibility is that you just don't have feelings for me anymore. I want you to tell me what to do, how to make this better. I always look to you for my best advice. Being your friend helps me to delude myself, as long as I am able to talk to you, I can pretend that in some way you are still an intimate part of my life.
I sat next to you tonight, for the first time since you shocked me with the news, I have never felt so far away from you. The hours spent on 57 couldn't amount to the distance I felt between us.
I was so disapointed, I guess I was hoping to see the want in your eyes. I didn't even see you look at me. I'm going about this all wrong.
Every time I feel my phone vibrate, I hope its you. The dissapointment I feel when it never is astounds me every time. I was happy. I was happiest I can remember being in years. Its makes this so much harder.
I don't know what love is. I don't know why I expected you too. I don't need you to be sure of love. I would just be so happy for you to be here and care again. I will stop pushing. I promise. Promise. Just...
At least do me one more favor. Lets go sit and watch the sun set on the lake, and just put your arm around me. You don't have to say anything. Just let me pretend for one more night that things are fine.
These are all the things I would say to you if I knew how. In a way I hope you find this, although I don't know how you would.
I guess this is just my message in a bottle, to whomever recieves it.
Love? Always and Forever
lara♥