Copied from my notebook
Actual Date Written: 27 December 2009
So many people have noted how the world has this certain element of tenacity. No matter what sort of curve ball the universe throws its way, it manages to keep turning. The seasons will change, the rivers will keep flowing, people will still hate each other and everything will still have beauty even if you're holed up in your bed with the blues, a terrible haircut, nothing to wear, and a zit the size of a teen drama series smack in the middle of your forehead. You'll be dead and rotting in your grave and new songs will still be written, new thoughts and ideals will be formed, new masterpieces will be created by our beautiful human hands. It's supposed to be a sobering thought, like don't sweat the small stuff or like, it's supposed to make you feel smaller in the ever growing universe. But really it pisses me off like nobody's fucking business. Despite history books and ancient artifacts and all that other crap,
I am of the distinct belief that this world does not exist beyond our own existances.
It's selfish and childish , but it's like believing that I'm the only one who exists in this world and everyone and everything else only exist as figments of my own reality becaues everyone that has ever lived has a different sense of reality. No two worlds are the same. So we need to fucking make everything possible while we're still alive, because once we're dead, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS ANYMORE. It's scarier than anything, but also the most motivating thought I've ever had. Probably the main thing keeping me from killing myself is that I don't want to miss out (I know it shouldn't be, but right now I feel like life is just a succession of events in a search for a reason not to go to an early grave). We must write our own music and think our own thoughts and take our worlds to their limits while we're still able to do so.
I think maybe this is why people have kids. It gives them a purpose and makes their world real even after they die. It's safer, and less scarey, but so much more inhibiting.
.........................
All of the above is verbatum out my journal, and how I actually think. And so will following posts that come out of my journal, some of which will have to be made friends only.
So many people have noted how the world has this certain element of tenacity. No matter what sort of curve ball the universe throws its way, it manages to keep turning. The seasons will change, the rivers will keep flowing, people will still hate each other and everything will still have beauty even if you're holed up in your bed with the blues, a terrible haircut, nothing to wear, and a zit the size of a teen drama series smack in the middle of your forehead. You'll be dead and rotting in your grave and new songs will still be written, new thoughts and ideals will be formed, new masterpieces will be created by our beautiful human hands. It's supposed to be a sobering thought, like don't sweat the small stuff or like, it's supposed to make you feel smaller in the ever growing universe. But really it pisses me off like nobody's fucking business. Despite history books and ancient artifacts and all that other crap,
I am of the distinct belief that this world does not exist beyond our own existances.
It's selfish and childish , but it's like believing that I'm the only one who exists in this world and everyone and everything else only exist as figments of my own reality becaues everyone that has ever lived has a different sense of reality. No two worlds are the same. So we need to fucking make everything possible while we're still alive, because once we're dead, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS ANYMORE. It's scarier than anything, but also the most motivating thought I've ever had. Probably the main thing keeping me from killing myself is that I don't want to miss out (I know it shouldn't be, but right now I feel like life is just a succession of events in a search for a reason not to go to an early grave). We must write our own music and think our own thoughts and take our worlds to their limits while we're still able to do so.
I think maybe this is why people have kids. It gives them a purpose and makes their world real even after they die. It's safer, and less scarey, but so much more inhibiting.
.........................
All of the above is verbatum out my journal, and how I actually think. And so will following posts that come out of my journal, some of which will have to be made friends only.