suicide
Right at this moment I am wishing that I wasn't alive. My own mother, knowing I'm struggling with thoughts like that, decided to got o her class reunion instead of talk to me when I reached out. My girlfriend, who's jealousy oftentimes beats me down decided to start a fight when I told her I wanted to get out of this town which makes me want to die then cuts her phone off knowing it causes panic attacks. I love her so much , but I feel like to her all she sees is someone who she doesnt have the time to even bother worrying about if im even ok, even though all I do is worry about her. my old therapist can't see me anymore because I'm in a different state and she never returned me text. Ive never truly felt like I do in this moment. the realization that I truly have no one left. My father committed suicide. I miss him so much. I feel like if he were alive at least he would always talk to me. The only thing stopping me in this moment is this sweet dog and cat who show me that, at least while they are alive, something needs me and loves me. that's it. I lost all reasons to want to live and the sad part is that no one really cares. so yea. l8r... Or maybe not.