i feel encouraged
I'M WRITING in my livejournal because this weekend has been a clusterfuck of nostalgia. I don't know if my hermitage is ending or not but today I was walking through a throng of people feeling dan-xiety and couldn't help but think: humanity is ugly. (& sticky, too, ie the little boy who tried to give me a high five and was REBUKED because of his clear and overtly booger fingers) -- This is all possibly a defense mechanism of solitude and whatnot but I haven't philosophized since my fish died(r.i.p. japhy) and I concluded that land is no place for a Beta.... Anyway, nostalgia is a bitch painted backwards with all the realization that your mindset of connectivity had always been disjointed and the people you're looking at with big dumb open(ed) eyes were strangers to you during your closest time together.
I guess the point is that I'm 27 and have only just begun to understand NEW SKIN FOR THE OLD CEREMONY and if that happened, theoretically, last week, then who the fuck was I eight days ago?
This should be read with the subtext of encouragement, not regret, like the first time you really see a beautiful flower, but not really like that at all, because flowers are dumb and should be stepped on because they often make me sneeze.
D'ya get it?
I guess the point is that I'm 27 and have only just begun to understand NEW SKIN FOR THE OLD CEREMONY and if that happened, theoretically, last week, then who the fuck was I eight days ago?
This should be read with the subtext of encouragement, not regret, like the first time you really see a beautiful flower, but not really like that at all, because flowers are dumb and should be stepped on because they often make me sneeze.
D'ya get it?