believe me, it's easier just to pretend
So after a lot of thinking, I had to finally tell her that I just couldn't do this whole "friends" thing.
Sure, it would have been nice, but not realistic. At least not on this side. Maybe it's easy for her to just push on. But I needed to do something that was good for me. After all that happened, after all the things we said, I needed to not be miserable in the situation. And I would have been completely miserable. Some part of me would still hope.
I said goodbye. I deleted her number, her texts, anything about her.
I think I need a good viewing of 500 Days Of Summer. Mentally beat the Tom out of me.
"It's love, not Santa Claus."
Of course there will be other people. And I truly look forward to getting into the scene again after that five month hiatus. There's just some things that didn't settle well for me when it came to her in all of this, and I think it says a lot about character. I thought she was perfect. But the only thing she did perfectly was break my heart.
And so, it's over. It's done. And I hope she's happy in the end.
I know that I will be. :)
---
Went out last night with Mike and Alicia for dinner. Alicia went home, then Mike and I went to get ice cream and browse a local Hyundai dealership. They jacked the prices because of the area we live in. It's borderline middle class along the coast, which the further along you go on either side is wealthier. It's the downside of living in a coastal town. So we decided that I need to go up to Auburn because the economy is shittier there. Cars are just cheaper.
---
I'm on the verge of sick. At the end of my vacation. Of course. Bah.
It didn't help that Alicia is getting sick too and we were all three eating and drinking off of each other's plates and glasses.
Time for orange juice overload.
Sure, it would have been nice, but not realistic. At least not on this side. Maybe it's easy for her to just push on. But I needed to do something that was good for me. After all that happened, after all the things we said, I needed to not be miserable in the situation. And I would have been completely miserable. Some part of me would still hope.
I said goodbye. I deleted her number, her texts, anything about her.
I think I need a good viewing of 500 Days Of Summer. Mentally beat the Tom out of me.
"It's love, not Santa Claus."
Of course there will be other people. And I truly look forward to getting into the scene again after that five month hiatus. There's just some things that didn't settle well for me when it came to her in all of this, and I think it says a lot about character. I thought she was perfect. But the only thing she did perfectly was break my heart.
And so, it's over. It's done. And I hope she's happy in the end.
I know that I will be. :)
---
Went out last night with Mike and Alicia for dinner. Alicia went home, then Mike and I went to get ice cream and browse a local Hyundai dealership. They jacked the prices because of the area we live in. It's borderline middle class along the coast, which the further along you go on either side is wealthier. It's the downside of living in a coastal town. So we decided that I need to go up to Auburn because the economy is shittier there. Cars are just cheaper.
---
I'm on the verge of sick. At the end of my vacation. Of course. Bah.
It didn't help that Alicia is getting sick too and we were all three eating and drinking off of each other's plates and glasses.
Time for orange juice overload.