What he needs to do now is get the ball in the end zone
Rant on
I like sports. Football, hockey, and soccer especially. What I don't like is sports announcers. The drivel and most inane obvious comments come out of the mouths of sports announcers is absolutely amazing. Two of my all time favorites:
"Now what they need to do now is get the ball in the end zone..."- John Madden
"They need to really get a goal here..." - unknown hockey announcer
Well no shit Dick Tracey. Isn't that what those games are about? I don't think you would see this ever:
"Payton Manning gets the Colts lined up on the one yard line and is calling the play"
PM: "Blue forty-seven, blue forty-seven hut, hut... Wait a second guys, you know if we score here we are going to hurt the self-esteem of the other side. Let's let them have the ball now." {walks off the field leaving all sides confused.}
Or how about when they feel like they have to show horrific injuries over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again?
2 announcers:
"Hey Greg, wasn't that nasty how Paul Kariya just got Segei Samsinov's stick shoved up his ass. That's gotta hurt."
"Indeed it sure does Paul, it sure does. My ex-wife did that to me once. Let's look at the hit again in high definition on the jumbo screen."
"Wow Greg, what's even worse is that in slow-motion you can see that Samsinov didn't even lube it up first."
"And look how his sphincter gets shreded when the blade get's shoved in like that."
"I bet he's going to hope he gets constipated for a while."
I think when it comes down to it sports casters assume that the general target audience is either:
1. Stupid
2. Doesn't pay attention.
I don't think that those who are watching sports in general are novices and therefore you don't need to explain the rules. For those who haven't watched, too bad! I don't want to listen to a sport's caster try to dumb it down for .01% of the audience because they don't have a clue.
Also a fan doesn't need too many replays as he/she/it are actually watching the game. If they weren't why broadcast the game? As long as it is a good game, most fans are going to time their bathroom/snack breaks around the commerials. One, maybe two, replays is fine, but give it a rest. We'll see the replay on Sports Center or the local news. Either that or one of our friends will tell us about it.
Alright, enough on this one. I'm hungry and I am going to go get a bowl of cereal.
"Ok Pat, what Rich needs to do right now is put the cereal in the bowl."
"Sure thing, and if he is going to eat it like most of us, he has to pour some milk on it. One percent fat or skim if he wants to get rid of those love handles."
"He's getting the milk out of the fridge..Ohh, he dropped the milk jug on his foot and broke his toe, that's got to hurt."
"Yeah if we watch it again, we can see how the bone shatters and sticks out the side."
"And if we rewind and pan up we can see how he is screaming."
"Now let's backup and check out the toe again. And the cereal goes flying and he covers the cat in milk........"
Rant off