Nothing works out quite as planned
My job makes me want to be sick to my stomach every night.
I don't know what happened! I used to be so good at this! They were impressed by me! I was the best student! Now... I don't know anymore. Within five minutes of every shift I'm beating myself up for being slow, stupid, messy, disorganized, etc. Simple tasks appear to be lost on me. I feel useless day in, day out.
I miss being a baker with Ashley, I knew how to do that stuff. Now I'm all over the place, sometimes I'm a baker, sometimes I'm a pastry chef, sometimes I'm working in the main kitchen, and in all of those places I'm still a useless lump of meat.
I love my job, I do. When I know what I'm doing, I enjoy it. I wish I could feel confident. I wish I could not take everything so fucking personally when I do something dumb and get the Stink-Eye for it. Where did I develop such a huge guilt complex?
I think I need to speak with a good therapist. Or a hypnotist.
I wish I could leave work, and leave it AT work, instead of bringing it home and worrying, worrying, worrying.
I want I want I want I want UGH
<3
Liz
xoxo
I don't know what happened! I used to be so good at this! They were impressed by me! I was the best student! Now... I don't know anymore. Within five minutes of every shift I'm beating myself up for being slow, stupid, messy, disorganized, etc. Simple tasks appear to be lost on me. I feel useless day in, day out.
I miss being a baker with Ashley, I knew how to do that stuff. Now I'm all over the place, sometimes I'm a baker, sometimes I'm a pastry chef, sometimes I'm working in the main kitchen, and in all of those places I'm still a useless lump of meat.
I love my job, I do. When I know what I'm doing, I enjoy it. I wish I could feel confident. I wish I could not take everything so fucking personally when I do something dumb and get the Stink-Eye for it. Where did I develop such a huge guilt complex?
I think I need to speak with a good therapist. Or a hypnotist.
I wish I could leave work, and leave it AT work, instead of bringing it home and worrying, worrying, worrying.
I want I want I want I want UGH
<3
Liz
xoxo